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She's Canadian, and she's pissed off. Photo: Lara604

No. I don’t know John from Toronto.

WE WERE UNDER attack. Us Canadians that is. Someone on the team (not to mention any names, Joshua Johnson from Seattle) had sullied the good name of poutine — a French Canadian institution consisting of fries, cheese curds, and gravy — in a work group email. He referred to it as a “sacrilegious slop of slathering savages” and said that it is “the saddest thing ever to befall french fries.” It was on. Oh yes, it was on.

“I do believe you just made a new enemy” was rebuffed with “Bring it, I don’t fear your ungodly chimera of cheese curds and gravy…I know it gets cold and lonely up there, but there is no excuse for poutine!” Tensions mounted in the email thread. I thought to myself, wow, so that’s how to piss off a Canadian. Of course, there are many other ways too (which this Molson Canadian commercial alludes to). But wait, Canadians don’t get pissed off, do they? Grrr…

Call us American.

When I lived in Melbourne my job was to fix people’s computer problems over the phone. I was constantly mistaken for an American. “Oh, where in America are you from?” Sometimes I’d respond, “the Canadian part.” Sad thing is, I’m not sure if they picked up on my sarcasm. You wonder why some Canadian travelers sew a flag on their packs?

Make us say something again because you think it’s cute.

I’ve always maintained that Canadians do not, despite the popular perception, pronounce it “a-boot.” Sorry, we just don’t. I am willing to concede, however, that there is a distinctly Canadian way of saying this word. I had to come to terms with that when I realized that many people were picking me out as Canadian because of the way I say “about.” So, OK, you got us there. But what is annoying is when people ask us to repeat words because they think it’s “funny” or “cute.” My roommate would always get, “tell us again what sport you play?” When she’d reply “hockey” (instead of “hackey” I presume) they would laugh.

Imply that Canada is the 51st state.

It’s not funny, so stop joking about it.

Ask us if we know “John from Toronto.”

Every Canadian you talk to can conjure up a memory of someone asking them this question. Yes, for such a large country (it is, after all, the second largest in the world) we have a relatively small population: our population density is 3.8 per square kilometer (and no, I’m not going to convert that to miles for you, sorry); compare this to India, which is 368 per square kilometer. So, comparatively speaking, maybe there is a much better chance that I will know John from Toronto. But still, it’s a ridiculous question, and if you’ve ever asked a Canadian that, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Tell us we say “eh” a lot.

Actually, that’s totally true. But you making a joke by adding “eh” to the end of your sentence, while simultaneously raising your eyebrows as in “right? get it?” is just lame. So stop it. Now. (Bonus: How do you spell Canada? “C eh N eh D eh”)

Steal our famous people.

Canadian. Photo: Richard "Tenspeed" Heaven

Having such a small population (approx. 33 million) also means having a smaller talent pool than many countries. So when someone mistakenly (or purposely?) claims a famous Canadian, we can get rather defensive about it. Jim Carey, Michael J. Fox, Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell, Mike Myers, William Shatner, Neil Young. All Canadians.

Sidenote: claim Nickelback, Celine Dion, and Justin Bieber all you want.

Ask us if we live in igloos.

No doubt about it, parts of Canada are damn cold. Like Nunavut and the Yukon. And Saskatchewan. But the vast majority of Canadians, around 75%, live within 160 kms of the US border. Like my friend on Facebook said, it’s “as if the border is a fridge door.” The average January low for Toronto is -7 Celsius. The average January low for Chicago is -8.8 Celsius. I wonder how many Chicagoans are living in igloos?

Ask us if that’s near the French part.

I received this question a lot when I was in Australia. After telling someone I was from Vancouver, they’d ask this, like it was the only thing they knew about Canada, that there’s a “French part.” Bless your kind heart for knowing that much at least but, no, Vancouver is nowhere near the French part.

Correct us about the nation’s capital.
Ottawa is the capital of Canada.

Staff writer, Anne Merritt, gets annoyed when her hometown of Ottawa isn’t getting the props it deserves as Canada’s capital. Even when she assures people that yes, Ottawa is the capital, she still gets, “Really? I’m pretty sure it’s Toronto/Vancouver/Montreal.” Anne’s not mistaken, folks. Ottawa is the capital of Canada.

Make a shitty pun about beavers.

Anne is also grated when drunk men start tossing out jokes about our national animal, the beaver. Crass jokes about it are one thing, but bad crass jokes are a whole different ball game.

    So…(giggle)…do you like…beavers?

and

    My buddy Kyle went to Canada once…he said the beavers were amazing (chuckle chuckle)

If you’re going to harass Canadian women with beaver jokes, do yourself a favour and at least be clever.

Call our great nation Canadia.

Don’t laugh, I’ve heard this. More than once.

HumorHow to piss off...


 

About The Author

Carlo Alcos

Carlo is the Dean of Education at MatadorU and a Managing Editor at Matador. Like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter. He lives in Nelson, British Columbia.

  • Jason Wire

    So it IS true — all the police DO ride on horseback?

  • Christine Garvin

    You’re wrong. It’s totally Canadia.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joshua-Johnson/100001526442445 Joshua Johnson

    Whatever Carlo, I saw you eating poutine with Nickleback and John from Toronto!

  • Kate_Sedgwick

    Ha ha!  On the cold thing, I’m originally from Wisconsin.  It has a reputation for being super cold and with good reason.  It is.  And I don’t want to ever be there in the winter because it’s unpleasantly icy and snowy.  Canada’s cold in the winter, broseph.  It just is!

  • http://twitter.com/onceatraveler Turner Wright

    I know a few Canadians to forward this to. In the meantime, enjoy this patriotic song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWQf13B8epw

  • Guest

    One time while abroad my roommate was Canadian and I asked him how far the bus station was from the house and he responded, “Eh, I’d say it’s aboot two kilometers.” Haha! Nicest guy in the world though. 

    But the language thing varies depending on what part of Canada they come from. People from Vancouver obviously sound different than people from Toronto. And they don’t say “eh” or “aboot.” Just like everyone in America sounds differently (I’m from the Midwest and I don’t say “hella” like those Seattle kids).

    But believe me, Canadians give Americans crap too! That’s why the teasing is all in good fun.

  • Sally A.

    I’d respond, “the Canadian part.” Sad thing is, I’m not sure if they picked up on my sarcasm. (haha! Funny:)

  • Preston

    Great article… and great timing.  Just today, my friend from the northern side of the fridge door posted, ”Off to check out Canada’s capital — that’s Ottawa for you dummies.”

  • Ton Koopman

    First off, it’s a suburb… not a state. Second, the name came from picking letters out on a bingo machine: C-eh. N-eh. D-eh.

  • Michelle Schusterman

    Carlo, I’ll trade you Tyra Banks, George Clooney, and any American pop star of your choosing (except Michael Jackson) if you’ll let us have William Shatner.

    • Conceptualcat

      I wouldn’t trade George Clooney for the young Shatner, plus Neil Young. You aren’t watching the right films.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HMW3OTJSBDWWRKIEKEKWWM7BEA bc

      Whoever you trade, they’re keeping Celine Dion. We don’t want her.

  • Zach

    Didn’t really need a how to guide, it’s easy enough.

  • Anne_Merritt

    That photo cracks me up. Canadian “pissed off” still looks pretty approachable.

  • RogueBride

    I say “Canadia” precisely in the hopes of pissing a Canadian off. I do it with love. <3

    • portageartist

      would that be self-love?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=553116873 Pat Awmack

    As a Canadian…I absolutely love this article!

  • Adrianne Chandra-Huff

    Excellent article, as a Canadian I find myself telling people these exact things on a near-daily basis. Here is a NON-OFFENSIVE and humorous video “making fun” of poutine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxYlQlIlmZ0

  • Jdsmom

    My American friends do not understand poutine. It’s a good time in a bowl, a heart attack on a plate, and so delicious. Having heard about a poutinerie in Toronto that serves smoked meat poutine, I’m so excited that a poutinerie has opened up right here in downtown Windsor, Ontario. Don’t know where Windsor is? Just across the river from Detroit. Haven’t heard of any skiers coming across the Ambassador Bridge lately asking how far it is to Montreal (not far, right?), but maybe I just haven’t paid attention. And no, we’re not really near the “French Part” either. You know what really pissed off Canadians? It was the Province of Ontario’s decision to change the sales tax to include purchases as small as one cup of coffee and a doughnut. What? Tax our Timmie’s? Get out the picket sign! (But go ahead and do anything else you want, and we won’t complain a bit.(Not even when you cut our health care!)

  • Guest

    When I worked in a call centre in England I once had a very irate customer try to insult me because he thought I was American. When I corrected him and said I was Canadian he immediately became friendly. I’ll never know if he was originally rude because he thought I was American (and that would just be sad), or if his attitude changed because he was embarrassed.

    I may say “about” distinctly (and I’m pretty sure my family in Ontario does say “aboot”), but I don’t say “eh” very often. 

    • Sue1mar3

      I thought this article was going to be about people assuming Canadians are just Americans that live farther north. Or using the word “eh” alot. Actually, in northern Michigan and other states we sound a little Canadian too:)

  • Sue1mar3

    And Americans can be proud of their fried ice cream and fried candy bars?

  • http://ActivePlanetTravels.com/ Ron | Active Planet Travels

    Hahaha…Love It.

  • http://www.sweeneysays.com Sweeney

    1) As much ex-pat life has given me a new-found defensiveness of my fellow Americans, I have to say that most Americans fuck up capitals in general.  My family lives in Jefferson City, MO and the fact that everyone assumes MO’s capital is St. Louis drives me nuts.  I don’t like Jeff City all that much, but IT’S THE ONE THING IT HAS GOING FOR IT.  DON’T YOU TAKE THAT FROM US.  And more importantly: WHERE WERE YOU IN THE FIFTH GRADE WHEN WE ALL LEARNED THIS?  AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS?  I don’t expect non-Americans to know that information, but if you’re American and out of elementary school, then yes, you should.

    2) Canadians totally call it Canadia sometimes too:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=givt_IAq3fk&feature=player_embedded
    (there is also an interesting bit about seals in there, in which the American girl unwittingly hits a cultural nerve by making a passing comment about clubbing seals — which is apparently a particularly Canadian problem?  I don’t know.  It’s a funny video though.)

  • Kim6160

    My favorite was when a staff member at a U.S. Consulate thought that Toronto was in the U.S. Needless to say, his colleagues at the U.S. Department of State were embarrassed. Please don’t think that Americans pick on Canadians; we display our ignorance of the rest of the world equally towards everyone.

  • http://idrinkmyteasweet.com Abhijit Gupta

    Nice article Carlo, but it’s funny to see all the Matador editors pulling your leg in the comments! :P

  • John

    I grew up with Strange Brew being our favorite family movie (and is the best movie of all time). I still listen to their albums often. Especially in winter time, probably due to the cold weather. So I have a biased liking for Canada. Sadly, I’ve only been there once (Toronto). And that was on business. But based on my experiences, I have to say that out of every cultural environment I have been exposed to, Canadians are the nicest and most polite of all peoples. Sadly, americans as a whole are unintelligent, shallow, selfish and ignorantly rude. Though the american persona may come to change in the next decade. I’ll be doing my best to break that cultural rift.

    And for those that think Canadians can’t fight, The U.S. got their @$$es handed to them multiple times between between 1774 and 1814 by them. All the while burning their towns and killing their women and children. Sorry if that was too much. :)

    Nashville, TN.

    • Conceptualcat

      You live in Tennessee. Cross the border into Kentucky. Nicer people up here. Whoever describes Americans in that way needs to get out more. Yes, there are people like that in this country. You said, “as a whole” and there you are drinking the kool-aid.

  • http://www.tumbleweed.net/ tyger11

    Don’t be absurd. It’s not ‘the 51st state’. Each province would be a territory, like Puerto Rico. We already treat you better than we treat Puerto Ricans, right?

    I used to work for and with a bunch of snowbacks (“snowbacks” source: Father Guido Sarducci, who had the best comedy bit on Canada EVER), and I must agree with the comment I heard online once: By far the biggest difference between Canadians and Americans is the lengths to which a Canadian will go to to make sure you know they’re not American.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IGXFTEMTD6ZOT5BS7YKNLQTMYA debonair

    I must say that as an American  I agree with everything said in the article. With one exception. No way on earth should American be held responsible,liable for or given claim to  the likes of Justin Bieber. All nations have their short-comings but they are  just burdens that they must bear and learn to work around.

  • Jwylan

    canadien? who cares?

  • Daniel Schulz

    Kate Beaton knows how to handle this!

    http://harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=250 

  • Josh

    FYI – neil young has DUAL citizenship….which also makes him an AMERICAN as well as a kanuckistani.

    • No

      You’re an idiot. A piece of paper doesn’t magically make you born from another country.

      • Josh

        you don’t really understand what “citizenship” is, do you?  it has NOTHING to do with where you’re born.  I think that makes you the idiot.  or maybe you just took offense at the kanuckistani jab?

        • Josh

          ok….it does have SOMETHING to do with where you’re born but that doesn’t make it the ONLY qualification.  allow me to repeat myself.  NEIL YOUNG IS ALSO AN AMERICAN.  due to that whole dual citizenship thing you don’t seem to understand.

  • Jaspero

    How To Piss Off An American:

    Being Canadian and taking yourself (and your country) too seriously

    (Also, Canadians do say a-boot, I don’t know why they’re in such denial)

    • Ktron

      ahaha, you idiot.

    • rosie

      its more a-boat than a-boot. but if you Americans say “boat” as “boot” than sure, we say a-boot. at least we don’t say roof as ruff. weirdos. 

    • portageartist

      How to be accidentally ironic

      Attend any major American sporting event, look around, take it all in and imagine you’re not born in a place where you are spoon-fed the notion that yours is the best f**kin’ country in the world. And you say we take ourselves too seriously! That is seriously hilarious. 

    • cssjake

       ”Being Canadian and taking yourself (and your country) too seriously”…
      …from an American, that really has tickled me. My only hope is that you are the first American to leave a sarcastic comment on a blog.

    • Rodrigo Fernandes Gonçalves

      I´m not Canadian or American but I can assure that, in general terms, Canadians have all the qualities americans have WITHOUT their prejudices and defects… Congratulations for your lovely country Canadian friends…

  • whereisCanada

    Canada is always afraid USA will roll over in her sleep and crush poor little Canada.

    • Vancouverite

      you’re a sad person who doesn’t know how to read a newspaper and figure out what’s going on in the world. 

  • http://twitter.com/CailinONeil Cailin O’Neil

    Has Mr. Josh Johnson ever had any pountine?!?! tisk tisk! haha
    OMG in Australia all they say is Canadia!! and I love it when people pronounce the “Scotia” in Nova Scotia as “Scott-E-ah” haha
    and yes people always know about “the french part” haha
    awesome :)

  • Basil McDonnell

    No, we don’t say “eh”.  EVER. 

    Signed: Vancouver

  • pakistanfashion

    i like it 
    Regards,
    MUHAMMAD OMER-24389

  • Christine

    The Americans hear “aboot” for some reason, but after years of paying close attention (because I never thought we pronounced “about” any differently from anyone else), it kind of sounds like “aboat.”

  • Erika Sawchyn

    All so true! 

  • Dana

    I understand the annoyance of being accused of being something that you are not (i.e. American) but its quite surprising how much anger this inspires amongst Canadians. I’ve seen it first hand many times. This article is a perfect example of just how pissed some Canadians get when meeting someone who doesn’t know much about Canada. It seems a little self-righteous.

    PS I wouldn’t openly claim Nickleback if I could avoid it….

    • http://matadornetwork.com/ Carlo Alcos

      All in good fun Dana ;)

      • Dana

        Touche. Guess this touched a personal nerve I wasn’t aware I had. Still a big fan of Canada and its people :)

  • AnthonySouls

    That’s such a Shakespearean insult, LOL

  • http://twitter.com/MikeCjourno Mike Cotton

    I live in Canada and they do say eh – like all the frigging time. Also as much as Aussies.

    • http://matadornetwork.com/ Carlo Alcos

      I think it’s more of a Kiwi thing. I lived in Oz for two years and didn’t hear it much, but from Kiwi friends it was a regular occurrence.

  • North of 60

    Just a note to mention that what pisses off Northerners (those of us brave souls who live “North-of-60″) is when people, ESPECIALLY other Canadians, get the names of the territories wrong.
    It is Yukon Territory, Northwest Territories, and Nunavut.
    Just sayin …..

  • Sally A.

    “Sometimes I’d respond, “the Canadian part.” Sad thing is, I’m not sure if they picked up on my sarcasm.” 
    (haha! I’m sure they picked up just like they should have the “French part”:) 

    “You say ‘eh’ a lot.” 
    (yeah- you don’t suppose there’s anything wrong with that- eh?);

  • http://twitter.com/NomadKeith Keith Kellett

    We used to love watching ‘Stargate SG-1′ and playing ‘Spot the Canadians!’

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512130257 Robin Wu

    Beavers are our national animal? On a different note, I LOVE beaver tails. (:

  • http://twitter.com/mushrome Trevor W Layton

    I can always tell who is from Canada ✌.  She’s Canadian☝
    Americans especially those from Alaska can’t spell & talk too slowly whereas Canadians, well don’t! ;)
    Chips & gravy ツ and with the addition of cottage cheese or crumbled strong & taste✔ NO Chicken salt!! pls !!

  • Guest

    Well done, Carlos. This is a great jumping off point for a fit-for-Matador discussion. Some of us might even learn a few thing or two.

  • Nicole Basaraba

    So true. Love this article. I really get annoyed when people imitating Canadians use “eh?” in the wrong context. We don’t just slap it on to the end of every sentence.

    Examples of “eh?” in context (Canadian usage):

    “I know eh?”
    “Its been a long time eh?”

    But not:
    “Hello eh?”
    “I like poutine eh?”

    Great article. :)

    • Rodrigo Fernandes Gonçalves

      Oh eh!!! lol

  • http://www.sophiesworld.net Sophie

    Fun – and informative – rant, Carlo :)
    I’ve always thought Norway was sparsely populated, but with 13 per square kilometer, we’re positively crowded compared to your 3.8.

    Also, I expect people of Canberra feel much same as the Ottawans.

    • http://matadornetwork.com/ Carlo Alcos

      Um, excuse me…that’s Ottawanarians! (kidding :) ) Actually, I’ve no idea what they’re called. Is Ottawans right?

      • Tim & Nat ✈

        yes Ottawans is right and sorry to burst everybody’s bubble but technically we are Americans so stop being so insulted.  We’re part of North “America”, look at a map I swear it’s true!

      • Tim & Nat ✈

        Ottawans is right and sorry to have to be the one to burst everybody’s bubble but we are technically Americans.  We’re part of North “America”, look at a map, I swear I’m not making it up :)

  • http://dating.guymagnet.net Free Online Dating

    Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mario0arana Mario Arana

    Could someone share some “How to make a Canadian smile?” I just met this cool Canadian girl and I need some advice :o) 

  • Emily

    Agree with all of this, Carlo! 

    Also, your friend Joshua better smarten up about poutine! :) It’s delicious. He has no tastebuds. 

  • sultan8

    the capital mistake happens for Australia too. It’s Canberra not Sydney, and I’m not even Aussie.

  • http://Aspinaroundtheworld.com Aspinaroundtheworld

    French fries should be so lucky to one day be poutine. Whats not to like? The cheese? Gravy? French Fries?

  • http://www.facebook.com/dana.simison Dana Simison

    I AM CANADIAN, born and bred.  I don’t know anyone that says aboot.  Although the Newfies speak a different language than the rest of us. In fact most of the maritimers speak funny.  And Poutine is vile disgusting stuff.   You can keep Bill Shatner and Celine.

  • http://twitter.com/dustinbrett Dustin Brett

    I am Canadian. Almost nobody says aboot (maybe those wacky Newfies), poutine is great (when done right which it rarely seems to be), I am from Saskatchewan and it is indeed cold but it is also very cold in Alberta and Manitoba, who cares which city is the capitol (except people from Ottawa), I don’t care about being mistaken for an American as my accent sounds the same, I used to say “eh” often but since I started travelling I notice it more and do it less. The one thing missing from this list is the assumption that we all speak French, I get this all the time and I don’t know a single person in my city that speaks French, I’m sure there is a few but if your not in or around Quebec than it’s rare.

  • Jess

    That’s Nunavut. Sorry, had to go there.

  • Me

    I’d go with most of what you said – except ‘It’s Ca-na-da. Not Canadia.’ – if It was Ca-na-da you would be Ca-na-dans, not Canadians!!

  • Proutzen

    I’m not sure Canadians can be pissed off. I’d rather say “how to tickle a Canadian’s good mood”. Unless the city’s hockey team loses in the playoffs. 

    Some stuff specifically pissing off French-Canadians (for those who would care.)..:- People visiting the ‘french part’ and thinking they’re in France: We actually have a lot of cultural influence coming from the English and have a mostly north-american attitude. Our accent is totally different, including when we speak English.

    - While visiting the province, reply in English when we greet you in French : 
    we will be super happy to continue the verbal exchange in your language at the best of our ability, but we’ll find you more polite & respectful if you make the tiny effort of saying ‘bonjour!’. Honestly. You don’t sound stupid when you try to speak French. We don’t care that you have an accent. You don’t even have to know any other word that ‘bonjour’. Obviously if you mention our array of swearwords you will gain points en estie.

    - Thinking separatists are all bunch of crazy, rabid, English-hating, close-minded extremists: Well, some of them are, but they’re sadly the over-representated fraction of the lot. Most pro-separation Québécois think of it as the independence Scotland has (and is trying to improve) from England. 

  • Rochelle.

    Hetalia.

  • dngm

    Canadians don’t hate being mistaken for Americans. Canadians LOVE complaining about being mistaken for Americans. We could go on about it for hours.

    Face it asshole, according to the rest of the world we sound just like American TV.

  • Guest

    this message brought to you by Canada, a wholy owned subsidiary of USA, Inc.

  • Newfie Girl

    Nobody I have met in the US knows where Newfoundland is…I just say Canada when I tell people where I am from but I also know a lot of Newfoundlanders who do not consider themselves Canadian. Good article though all the same :)

  • Dinlek

    So, 75% of Canadians live near the coldest part of America, and the assertion that it’s cold there is still, somehow, erroneous?

    …alright then.

    It’s not “as if the border is a fridge door”. It’s as the majority of America’s population doesn’t even live along the border. When you’re editing your articles, aim to either be rational or humorous.

  • Yoppo

    Lol you Gaynadians are outing yourself for some big trouble. Gaynadian expats and tourists are setting up bordellos and pimping out kids. Best not say you’re Gaynadian in those poor Island countries unless you want some extra scrutiny.

  • Plow76

    One sure way to piss off a Canadian is to use American English like in this article!  I get so frustrated with Canadians who just rely on spell checking software that is ALWAYS set to American English by default.  We spell many things differently (correctly) here.  Please download and install a Canadian English dictionary.  And in case you can’t figure out which words I’m talking about, look at “tarveler” (sic) and “kilometer” (sic).

    • http://matadornetwork.com/ Carlo Alcos

      Well it’s definitely one way to piss you off! I actually prefer those spellings so I use them. I know the difference. But you’re obviously a person who thinks their way is the only and right way, so I guess there’s no pleasing you.

      (By the way, when trying to correct one’s spelling it’s generally a good idea to spell the word you’re lecturing about correctly.)

  • Jostlen

    http://youtu.be/T5KufaaOPwI
    This is the proper Molson ‘Don’t Piss off a Canadian’ tutorial.

    I get the ‘Canadia’ & ‘is that from the french part?’ all the time too.  It just runs over me like water at this point.  It grates on me more when people ask if I’m from “Southern Canada,” & how some people can name every province – including Saskatchewan – & forget Manitoba.  Do we not have a funny enough name for you?!
     
    It’s totally a-boat!  So glad someone else sees this!

  • canuckleheadmorgie

    When I get asked of I know “Mary from Montreal” (I’m from Vancouver) I usually reply, “Yeah, she got hit by a bus”

    Being a dual citizen, of the US and Canada my reply to where I’m from has to do with how offended the askie will be. 

    And for Joshua from Seattle, I’m a Seattle Seahawk season ticket holder, and considering the disgusting garlic concoction on the fries they serve at games, that is distinctly “Seattle” you should feel SHAME for saying anything disparaging aboot poutine!!  I feel like showering after someone just walks by with that “Seattle” trash.

  • Martin Anderson

    Canadian girls are the best and that’s the main reason why I like Canada!

  • Laney Shalane Koven

    You missed a lot of things. Like when people don’t recycle. Or when you travel and everyone thinks you’re American or… British.

    • Carlo Alcos

      In my defense, I did include being mistaken for American. (Hint: It’s the first thing.)

    • Alex Rickert

      In our defense, it’s not as though we can tell. And now I’m hyper cautious when assuming someone is from the US, which makes my American friends laugh at me. But, since the American and Canadian accent are so similar, it’s not possible to know right off of the bat!

  • Jo Mags

    “Ask us if that’s near the French part.”- I was in Brazil for 3 months and I got asked this question every time people found out I was from Canada. I was wondering what schools there teach people about Canada.

    • Romi

      I was taught at school that Tasmania is a country different from Australia. I guess Simon Baker would be pissed off if I said he’s not an aussie.

  • Jo Mags

    “Ask us if that’s near the French part.”- I was in Brazil for 3 months and I got asked this question every time people found out I was from Canada. I was wondering what schools there teach people about Canada.

  • Jo Mags

    “Ask us if that’s near the French part.”- I was in Brazil for 3 months and I got asked this question every time people found out I was from Canada. I was wondering what schools there teach people about Canada.

  • Ibsen Moy

    that beginning mention about poutine is much more telling about that person’s lack of savory pairings when it comes to “french fries”, as there’s much more to add than just ketchup.

    gravy on fries: good. cheese on fries: good. now bring them both together! (curds are a touch different but still good).

  • J

    As a spaniard I’d love to make a few additions, inspired by the canadians I’ve encountered.
    -They think kissing on the cheek as a form of greeting is forward and invades personal space, but they don’t mind greeting you with really tight everlasting hugs.
    -They claim to love coffee and tea, but they laught at the idea of an italian espresso and they have no clue how to breed a proper cup of tea. Rule is simple: the bigger the better, and best if to go.
    -They hate being called americans but in reality I’ve met few that don’t actually like them.
    -They do say “eh” all the time, and it’s true they say aboot, more specially in ontario.
    -The world thinks if them as a tolerant, cohesive, bilingual country, but the english and the french hate each other’s guts.
    -They somehow think the wine in British Columbia is not only good, but very good.
    -They think italian and mediterranean are basically the same.
    -They consider Mexico as central america.
    -They are the most easygoing people ever, they never get seriously offended and they’re very sharing and hospitable.
    -For some reason they feel lazy to lock their doors.
    -They go barefoot in any house, a canadian without socks is unable to visit other people.
    I love canadians, they’re amongst the sweetest human beings I’ve encountered!!!

    • Amanda

      “The world thinks if them as a tolerant, cohesive, bilingual country, but the english and the french hate each other’s guts.” – Oh my god, YES! I have actually had people laugh when I tell them this…they don’t believe me!

    • Dave S

      I live in Montreal, one of the most bilingual cities in Canada. I can assure you it’s only a vocal minority that hates each others guts. Most of us love having two languages and count it among the top reasons we’re the greatest city in the country.

  • inuk

    Great article, but I must ask you to correct your spelling of “Nunavut”

    • http://matadornetwork.com/ Carlo Alcos

      whoops. you got me. thanks!

  • Al Schmidt

    Thanks for the Troll bait!

  • Jean-Guy Pépin

    Do not diss Celine Dion. She shot a commercial to bash George W. Bush for not helping out New Orleans after Katrina and paid to have it broadcast on a national USA network.. She is also a child star who didn’t grow up to be all fucked-up. You can think her music is sappy all you want, no problem there, but do not think for one second that Celine doesn’t have more balls than you!

    Actually never mind. Celine Dion is better than Canadian, she is Quebecoise (like Leonard Cohen)!

  • Romi

    I swear I read Joshua Jackson. Who is, indeed, canadian.

  • LarissaT

    I’ve lived in Canada for just about 9 years and people still argue with me saying that Toronto is the capital and not Ottawa. I can’t even…

  • james

    Americans sew the Canadian flag on their bags, too.

  • John D Braun

    I know many Canadians. And the funniest thing to me is when they get mad about this kind of stuff.

British writer goes to Canada, makes supercut of him doing Canadian things.
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Advise them to take a blood test, mention that they do look quite pale, and furrow your...
It doesn't usually take much to enrage a French person; we are a hot-blooded people.
As if the patriarchy wasn't enough to be mad about already.
"I want a book...from that author...the title has ‘wind’ in it..."
Go into a not Starbucks and order a “caramel macchiato.”
Telling a Pearl Jam fan to stop singing is like telling Michael Phelps to stop swimming.
Our pride ensures we do NOT tolerate comments like this.