How to piss off a Korean

By Turner Wright On January 23, 2012 · 28 Comments

Tweet

Photo by sunxez

If you really want to piss off a Korean, talk loud, disrespect your elders, and speak casually of the Japanese occupation.

ATTEMPTING TO CAUSE someone to lose control of his emotions in Asia is actually quite a feat. It’s not often you see a Japanese on the streets of Tokyo red in the face from anger. You’d have to look around quite a bit to find a Thai without a “cool heart.”

So when determining the best approach to really get under a South Korean’s skin, I had to add an important qualifier: leave alcohol out of it. Seriously. Because, let’s face it, almost any nationality can be easily provoked with the right blood alcohol level.

To those who’ve passed through Seoul, you might be thinking: piss off a Korean? That’s easy… I saw them fighting on the streets.

Maybe you did. But fights and provocation from a Korean perspective don’t even come close to what we see in Western cultures. There’s shouting, especially between friends, but it rarely escalates to more than that.

To truly make a Korean reach deep inside himself, ignore societal rules, and want to pummel you takes some knowledge of Korean culture and history.

Don’t use the proper respect

As is the case in many Asian cultures, using the proper language to address someone is not only polite, but is the social glue connecting families, coworkers, even strangers. Although foreigners aren’t expected to strictly adhere to these complex rules, a Korean intentionally speaking improperly to one of her fellow citizens is tantamount to a slap in the face.

There was a murder not too long ago, in which one heavily inebriated Korean man killed another (his friend/coworker) after the friend referred to him as an equal rather than a superior. Likewise, not showing the proper respect to one’s elders can result in a violent response. For information and videos related to lack of respect and the problems that can ensue in Korea, see this Gusts Of Popular Feeling post.

Talk on public transportation

Photo: m-louis

Korea takes a stand against that annoying person on his cell phone in the middle of the coach. Simply put, loud talking breaks the silence, and the societal norms. Whether you’re riding the rails or taking a bus across the peninsula, speaking loudly in person or over the phone is a major cultural taboo in Korea.

Once, after a fellow English teacher and I had enjoyed a bottle of soju in Samcheok and didn’t modulate our voices during the long ride home, the bus driver pulled over, speed walked to the back of the bus, and confronted and scolded us. We learned our lesson.

Older people may be the exception to this rule, but in general, Koreans keep the decibel level low on their commutes.

Criticize national icons

Repeat after me: Samsung is the greatest company in the world. The 1988 Olympics were the best of all time. Kimchi is a delicious dish that can be enjoyed with every meal. Korea is better than Japan in every way. K-Pop singers are awesome.

Koreans tend to be very nationalistic, and any criticism of things you might encounter in their country is almost a challenge to their own identity.

Fail to denounce the Japanese Occupation

Questioning the status quo political sentiment may be a greater offense than talking loudly, failing to respect your superiors/elders, and even criticizing the symbol’s of Korea’s greatness. Try one of these among friends and you’ll soon find your unflappable Korean acquaintances aren’t so unflappable. (You might find that they aren’t really your friends anymore, either.)

The Korean peninsula was effectively a part of Japan from 1910 to 1945, and no one born in South Korea dare forget the way their “hosts” tried to stamp out everything that made Korea unique: the image of the fearsome tiger changed to a docile bunny; removing entire temples from their foundations to be shipped, piece by piece, to Tokyo.

In the ancient capital Gyeongju, a site favored today by tourists, you can read inscriptions calling out the Japanese for stealing cultural artifacts.

Theft and other indignities marked the period, and Koreans will not tolerate people playing devil’s advocate, or hinting for even one second that the Japanese were justified in their actions or that something positive occurred as a result of the occupation. Failure to follow these rules will find you facing some flaring nostrils.

Challenge the names of Dokdo and the East Sea

Although this method of pissing off Koreans goes hand-in-hand with the Japanese Occupation, it merits a separate category.

Dokdo is an island under Korean control in the East Sea. In Japan, these are respectively referred to as Takeshima and the Sea of Japan. The island, a collection of rocks visited mainly by seagulls, serves as an example of everything Koreans believe the Japanese have taken from them (and would like back).

Photo by author

Korea “controls” the island by paying for two fishermen to live there, and the coast guard patrols the waters. There was even talk of establishing a military presence. But Dokdo is a source of nationalistic pride and there’s no end to the means they will use to convince the rest of the world that Dokdo belongs to Korea.

I’ve seen Dokdo brand water, a Dokdo Marathon, Dokdo cookies, Dokdo ad campaigns, even Dokdo billboards. I expect hate comments to be posted by Koreans within a matter of hours challenging my intelligence at even writing about Dokdo without positing unequivocally that it is part of Korea.

No issue is more polarizing in the Land of the Morning Calm.

About The Author

Turner Wright

Turner Wright is a marathon runner first, an adventurer second, and a writer through it all. Apparently, he has a thing for island nations, having lived in Japan, and soon to be headed for New Zealand. Check out his adventures at Keeping Pace in Japan.

More By This Author

A frenzied search for Thanksgiving turkey in South Korea (5 comments)
8 jobs that make you feel like a traveler (5 comments)
What might have been in Japan (8 comments)

view all → Turner Wright

http://twitter.com/waegook_tom Tom Stockwell

Sorry but this is soooooooooo general….most of my Korean friends, just normal Koreans, don’t particularly like K-Pop. Sure, tell a 14 year old girl it’s bad, and you might get an angry response akin to somebody dissing Justin Bieber in the States. But saying it’s something that would provoke an angry reaction in an adult?! No…

Most Koreans I know also strongly dislike Samsung because, like Hyundai, their products are often cheaper abroad than within Korea.

This is all really how a Korean can piss off another Korean. Foreigners get a lot of lee-way for being just that – foreign. Koreans don’t get angry with foreigners for using the wrong language as they don’t expect you to even be able to speak it, let alone use it correctly. They understand if you don’t like kimchi.

The only way I can imagine a Korean getting confrontational over the majority of these things is if the person who says them is being deliberately confrontational themselves!

However, the issues of things like Dok-do, and keeping quiet on public transport – bang on there. Me and three friends got scolded by a middle aged man for talking on a train to Seoul once in the evening as the rest of the commuters were all passed out asleep at 8pm!

B Mckechnie

Of course, yours and my English-speaking Korean friends don’t expect us to speak Korean. But Koreans in shops, restaurants and bars anywhere outside of Itaewon that speak to you in Korean shouldn’t be answered back in English. If you’re an English teacher in Korea and are unable to speak bar/restaurant/convenience store Korean then you’re being culturally insensitive and should learn a basic smattering of Korean. I’ve taught there for 2 years and have seen many a pissed-off Korean face, scowl or bad comment under the breath after a waygook friend speaks English to them. I can speak upper-beginner/intermediate Korean and understand what they’re saying when they don’t think we understand them. I’ve heard quite a few ‘white ghost’ comments. I’m not disagreeing with your comment, just adding my opinion in my experience.

http://twitter.com/waegook_tom Tom Stockwell

B – I think it’s only polite that if someone speaks to you in Korean, you should speak Korean back. Like you, I’m intermediate Korean (studying for the TOPIK test…damn it’s a lot of vocabulary…) and I get a little annoyed when people have made NO attempt to learn the language. I think knowing a few phrases and showing that you’re trying/saying them with a smile won’t annoy the average local – but, as with everywhere in the world, repeating in the same thing in English but just more L-O-U-D-L-Y will be enough to bug any Korean within earshot (hell, it’d grind on me, too!)

But yes – I don’t think we’re expected to know ANY Korean AT ALL as foreigners in Korea. I’ve been cussed off in a pizza shop for being too dumb to understand Korean once with the owner laughing. I stared at the other customer so intensely that his kid noticed, whispered something in his dad’s ear, and then the conversation abrubtly stopped and the two dudes looked pretty embarrassed haha!Turner – sorry if my comment came off as a little harsh, re-reading it, it may have and it wasn’t intended that way. Something that would piss off a Korean to the same extent that it would piss of a foreigner…damn, this has really got me thinking. Let me get back to you on it haha!

Turner

Not harsh. You raise a good point. I don’t think B gets my point about the language issue, though. True, it might have been a good idea to say “speaking English loudly” annoys Koreans, but I was going for using the properly respect people use to address superiors or elders.

B Mckechnie

Of course, yours and my English-speaking Korean friends don’t expect us to speak Korean. But Koreans in shops, restaurants and bars anywhere outside of Itaewon that speak to you in Korean shouldn’t be answered back in English. If you’re an English teacher in Korea and are unable to speak bar/restaurant/convenience store Korean then you’re being culturally insensitive and should learn a basic smattering of Korean. I’ve taught there for 2 years and have seen many a pissed-off Korean face, scowl or bad comment under the breath after a waygook friend speaks English to them. I can speak upper-beginner/intermediate Korean and understand what they’re saying when they don’t think we understand them. I’ve heard quite a few ‘white ghost’ comments. I’m not disagreeing with your comment, just adding my opinion in my experience.
Turner

Hey Tom,

Yep, I tried to include ways to piss off a Korean that would apply to both foreigners and Koreans, but naturally, that’s impossible. Just had to add the appropriate qualifiers. I don’t a foreigner, even one who spoke fluently, would get chewed out for not using the proper language.
David

Justin Bieber is Canadian. Fail.
Jimbojam

Call them Ice bish

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1249317341 Doug Walsh

Spent some time in Japan, then a few months later in various parts of Korea (I’m no expert, in other words). My observations were that Korean subways and trains were much noisier than Japan’s. Many people talking, particularly in Seoul, and even music playing from cellphones. Japanese subways in comparison, were utterly silent.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1249317341 Doug Walsh

Spent some time in Japan, then a few months later in various parts of Korea (I’m no expert, in other words). My observations were that Korean subways and trains were much noisier than Japan’s. Many people talking, particularly in Seoul, and even music playing from cellphones. Japanese subways in comparison, were utterly silent.

Turner

I thought they were both pretty quiet.
Turner

I thought they were both pretty quiet.

Roboseyo

“no issue is more polarizing” -polarizing implies two extreme opposite positions exist, but with Dokdo, there are not two sides within Korea: it (and other political flash points related to the Japanese occupation) is the only area where pretty much every Korean agrees,to a person, on the issue.

The only debate allowed in discussing Dokdo is not “yea or nea” but “is it definitely worth it to torpedo Korea /Japan relations over Dokdo… Or only PROBABLY worth it?”

However I feel like it’s only fair to note that in recent years, Dokdo demagoguery has mostly been used by politicians who want to score some cheap, nationalistic, rabble-rousing political points.
Roboseyo

“no issue is more polarizing” -polarizing implies two extreme opposite positions exist, but with Dokdo, there are not two sides within Korea: it (and other political flash points related to the Japanese occupation) is the only area where pretty much every Korean agrees,to a person, on the issue.

The only debate allowed in discussing Dokdo is not “yea or nea” but “is it definitely worth it to torpedo Korea /Japan relations over Dokdo… Or only PROBABLY worth it?”

However I feel like it’s only fair to note that in recent years, Dokdo demagoguery has mostly been used by politicians who want to score some cheap, nationalistic, rabble-rousing political points.
Anonymous

Nice list, Turner! I would add a biggie: calling someone (or something) “crazy.” While we say it pretty casually in English (“that Sally throws crazy parties”), it’s pretty offensive in Korean, since it means that person is mentally deranged. I’ve made that blunder. Not pretty.

Turner

You’re right, Anne! I forgot about that one.
Eveliens

I taught in elementary and this was the kids’ favorite insult. It lost its sting when I had my Korean co-teacher explain it’s other uses and became an ‘in-joke.’ However, yes, crazy is a no-no in general situations. Although I was told it meant something like ‘irredeemably stupid and useless’ in Korean.

Alec

I love the whole Dokdo/Takeshima thing. I do that full well knowing it will Koreans off. But then again, I have a bit of a troll in me.
http://www.facebook.com/jeong.sunyoung Sunyoung Jeong

Hi Turner, Nice article!
Being a Korean myself, I feel that I can give you a verdict on which of things that you have said can piss me off or not. Although I can’t represent the entire Koreans, I
will do my best to answer as close as possible to what majority of young Koreans
would think. My answers are based on the situations where these things are
done by foreigners, as this website’s major readerships must be those from
abroad.

Don’t use the proper respect–>No. Koreans understand that it’s not the Western customs.

Talk on public transport–>Probably Yes. Talking loudly in public places like a tube carriage is very annoying. People do pick up the call and talk on the bus or subway,
but usually try to keep the conversation quiet or try to call back. If you’re being too loud, you might be told off by middle-aged men (Ajossi), whom I don’t really like but strangely miss when bunch of youngsters talk loudly and listen to the music from their mobile phone on London’s bus.

Criticize national icons–>Depending on what you criticise. In case of K-pop and Samsung, it doesn’t surprise me or piss me off if foreigners criticise them. I do think
these are very typical examples of Korean way of being successful in a very
short span of times. In other words, they lack in characters and souls.

One thing to be said about Koreans is that we are very patriotic from a foreigner’s point of view. In my opinion, it mainly boils down to the fact that Korea is between the some of the most powerful countries in the world. If your neighbours are China, where world’s eyes are on now and Japan, where all these super cool things come from, you might feel bit neglected and become too protective about your country when people have negative comments.

Fail to denounce the Japanese Occupation –>Conservative and old Koreans will be pissed off by this for sure. But sadly enough, majority of youngsters (those under 20) don’t really remember or care about what kind of awful things Japan has done during the occupation. In terms of legacy from Japanese occupation, some Koreans admit that the modernisation of the country was largely due to the Japanese. However it’s a very hotly debated area whether the imperialist has made their colonies
the better countries or not.

Challenge the names of Dokdo and the East Sea–>Yes. It’ll piss of majority of Koreans. So no go area!

Lastly, if I may allow to add my own thing that piss me off as a Korean is when a foreigner complains that there is no way non-Korean can integrate into Korean society without any effort. Once I remember bumping into a Canadian who has been living in Seoul for ten years. After a jolly conversation with him at supermarket, he said that he feels that Koreans only want to stick to each other therefore he has no local friends, which rather surprised me given that Koreans are quite friendly people at least those I know. Then I asked ‘did you try to learn Korean? It will certainly help
you to mingle with locals.’ His answer was ‘No’ with a bit of shrug. I could
not believe that this guy was here for ten years and not to mention that he’s
got a Korean wife!!

dhawk

I studied in Seoul for a year and I agree with you that Koreans are among the friendliest people I’ve ever met. Yes, there are some rude individuals who insult foreigners that they think don’t understand, but that has been very rare in MT experience. And if you speak even a little Korean with a decent accent they are AMAZED. (Maybe too amazed, as I frequently had Koreans proceed to speak way above my level after I demonstrated some ability.)

One example, I was looking for the hostel I had booked, and was in the subway terminal, looking at the neighborhood map, and clearly lost. I had a grandma come up to me and spent several minutes trying to help me figure out where to go. She eventually directed me to a realty office, whose manager found the place on the map, and even walked me there himself. It was amazing.

I also made a lot of local friends at university very easily, and not through effort on my part. I’m naturally shy, but they went out of their way to make me feel welcome, and to invite me out to go drinking, go on ski trips, travel to their hometown, etc. Anyway, Korea has its faults, like any country, but the warmth of its people cannot be denied.

http://tinyurl.com/choose-incomee Karen Willey

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
Sana

well said. nice post, i enjoy it.
http://www.alsiarat.com
dubai cars classifieds
Mina

I’m what they call, 1.5 generation Korean/American. I was born in Korea, but came to the States when I was 9 years old. So, fluent in Korean language and Korean culture. I have to say, Turner got it. No, it’s not comprehensive, and depending on who you talk to, you’ll get different feedback, but it’s on target. Samsung is known as the economic engine of South Korea. I’m not sure if they are liked or not, but they are respected. I have to say that I can talk sh!t about Korea, because it’s my country, but I would never allow or accept foreigners from talking anything but good things about my country. I do get embarrassed about things, but I get embarrassed about the US as well, my adopted country. We are very proud people and with that comes the good and the bad. Please accept us for who we are.
Steve

This is what people use their free time for? Is it any wonder that the world is losing itself in a downward spiral?
http://www.warasadrumschool.com/ Ruth McDonald

I used to teach in Cheongju, South Korea, and I can report that the children at least are capable of humour when it comes to Dokdo…I wrote a note above my whiteboard one week for all my students to see, in Hangul Korean letters, that said “Dokdo is Scotland’s Land!”. It still makes me chuckle, along with my Taegukki emblazened t-shirt with the Dokdo song written on the back all about Dokdo belonging to Korea and the lovely octopus and squid that hang out there….good memories!
Sung-Hwan Joo

Most of stories are
true except two things.

1. Korean Government didn’t pay to fishermen to live in Dok-do. No
citizen lives in Dok-do right now. There used to be. But, no more.

2. There is a Coast-Guards station with 50 policemen in Dok-do Not
just water.

I guess that I am just
a little bit annoyed (I am a Korean) when somebody used incorrect information about Dok-do.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeong-Beom-Pyon/500794762 Jeong Beom Pyon

I think Sunyoung Jeong wrote basically everything I had to write about your ‘article’.

However, I do want to add something here. I have lived in 4 different continents (South America, North America, Asia, and Europe) pretty much evenly throughout my life (back and forth, from one place to another), and if I have to generalize Koreans, I would say that they are in fact, angry people. I remember in elementary school I was shocked on my first day of school because one kid started to beat up another with a chair… 9 year old kid beating up other kids with metal chair.
Then I went back to Korea briefly during high school, and it was one of a prestigious school, but literally everyone was asleep in class and the teacher was talking to the wall. One day, the teacher woke up a student, and the student took his chair and smashed a window in the classroom and left. He never came back.
Oh yes, and I have served my term in the army. You think those Koreans studying in US aren’t angry at all? I was “fortunate” to be in a place full of students who studied abroad, but man, you would never imagine what kind of pissed off angry people most of those students are. Of course, when they’re done with their service, they return back to being just a “good guy” and life goes on as if the 2 years in the army never happened. I won’t write any example of the f.ed up thing that people do in the army to each other, but trust me, I thought some people had serious mental illness. Again, in society, everyone loves them. Now, to Korea’s defense, it shouldn’t be a surprise at all that Koreans are so angry. We had been in so many wars throughout our history, then colonized by our greatest rival, then split in half from civil war, and then even participated in Vietnam War (yes, this is how Korean economy actually shot up: being US’s greatest ally in the Vietnam War).How can you expect people who went through so much hell to raise their children and grandchildren in such a trigger happy way that you can in Europe and US? In fact, we should all be impressed by the progress Korea has made in terms of the culture and society (not just economy). Now, my final point I wanted to mention is what Koreans actually need to work on: racism. Koreans have forgotten who helped them during the difficult times. It wasn’t only US, European nations, Turkey… etc. Countries like Peru and even Suriname aided us during the difficult times. However, ask any Koreans what they think about Southeast Asians or Peruvians. You won’t hear so much good things about them.In fact, I have a Peruvian friend living in Korea right now. He’s obviously a European descendant and is basically ‘white’ with dark hair, and people are nice to him until he says “I’m Peruvian.” Their facial expression changes and they treat him like shit. And he’s been living there for a while and he experiences this far too often, and even makes me feel so angry about my people. Sorry for long post! Just wanted to get it out of my chest!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeong-Beom-Pyon/500794762 Jeong Beom Pyon

Oh yeah, the point of that racism part was that you will be treated nicely if you’re white American or European, but they’ll treat you like shit if you’re Chinese, Southeast Asians, or South American. (Especially if you’re Chinese)

How to piss off a Korean

Don’t use the proper respect

Talk on public transportation

Criticize national icons

Fail to denounce the Japanese Occupation

Challenge the names of Dokdo and the East Sea

Related Posts

Turner Wright

More By This Author

Travelers Stoked on this Article

Subscribe to Matador

The best travel articles each week. No spam.

Breaking stories, announcements, events, and more.

In partnership with Matador

Feature

Gallery

Feature

Gallery

Feature

Quick-Read

Feature

Feature

Feature

Feature

Matador Network © 2006-2011

About Matador

Sections

Become a Contributor

New Media School