How to Recognize Brazilians in a Crowd

The results are funny but not terribly surprising:

Standard going-out attire for men: shirtless, casual cap, silver chains

While Aussies wear skinny jeans, a tight shirt, and pointed shoes to go out, Brazilian men generally wear a much simpler outfit where the shirt, many times, is forgotten. Of course, this outfit is more common at daytime parties, but that doesn’t mean Brazilian men don’t dress like this at night as well. Especially if it’s a Brazilian party overseas that involves a lot of dancing. The temperature goes up, the shirt comes off. Actually, the temperature doesn’t even need to increase that much…who needs a shirt when they have a huge silver chain to cover their chest?

Tatoos

Brazilians love tattoos. Men and women.

Jeans and runners

Brazilians wear runners (sneakers) with basically everything, but jeans and runners is the trademark (in fact, I’m wearing this combo right now). Runners are common in every season, even when it’s boiling hot. Let’s face it — Nike socks really go with everything.

Being the last ones to arrive and leave the party (unless they get lucky)

Brazilians’ timing for parties is very different from Australians’. I remember my surprise when I went out in Australia for the first time. I left home around 11pm (thinking it might be too early), and to my surprise the party was already finishing! By midnight people had reached that loud, annoying stage, and some were even being carried home. Brazilians start partying late and therefore finish late. A normal night out would start around midnight and would carry on to 4, 5, or even 6 in the morning.

Plastic surgery

Brazil is famous for affordable, high-quality plastic surgery. To have your boobs done in Brazil is not unusual. It’s so easy and quick that everybody does it (same for Caesareans, which are heavily criticized in Australia but super common in Brazil). Perfect boobs combined with the other characteristics mentioned in this post = 100% Brazilian.

Girls wearing leggings as pants

Even after all the fuss about it, Brazilian girls still wear leggings as pants. It doesn’t matter the size of the booty, they just love leggings. My boyfriend always points this out to me when he sees someone wearing leggings on the street and says: “Look! A Brazilian!” And he’s right! Ladies, sorry, it came from him not me. Personally, I particularly love leggings but never, ever, as pants. Especially when they’re secretly see through, which is very common to see around.

Speaking of booty…

Yes, “bunda” is the national passion of Brazil and is a characteristic of Brazilian women. I don’t look like a typical Brazilian — I don’t really have any ass — but this is me. The dialogue below has happened to me more than once during my life in Australia:

Guy: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Brazil.”

Guy (looking to my back): “Really? With this ass?”

G-string bikini (“fio-dental”)

If you see a girl at a beach party wearing a g-string bikini, chances are she’s Brazilian. I went to a beach party once where a few people were wearing bikinis and swimwear, but all the eyes were focused on two specific women who were wearing g-strings. It was easy to identify them as Brazilian, and they indeed were. They had perfect fake bodies as well.

So fair enough, they were showing off. Funny thing is, despite the fact that not every Brazilian has a bloody perfect body or can afford the surgery to wear a g-string, they still wear them. Not every Brazilian does it, but if you see g-string bikinis in Australia, I would dare to say there’s an 80% chance of it being a Brazilian.

Brazilian accent

If you still can’t recognize a Brazilian based on the above, all your doubts will vanish the moment a Brazilian starts speaking to you in English. We have a very unique accent that will always be there. It doesn’t matter how good our English is. It’s our charm so, take it or leave it.