stranger in the streetYou’ve all had that moment when you’re sitting next to a stranger on a bus, standing uncomfortably in an elevator, or many other travel situations where conversations are initiated.

Sometimes a stranger is a friend you haven’t met. Other times you just don’t feel like talking.

Most unwanted conversations can be politely avoided with a brief answer and a curt smile. If they still insist on talking, a few stronger words may be necessary.

In the worst case scenario, you may even sense something off about the stranger. Perhaps even dangerous.

Ideally, we want to avoid the possibility of violence and the unnecessary use of self-defense as much as possible. Here are a few tips that might help you avoid confrontation and keep control in critical situations:

1. Befriend others

While waiting for your train or bus to leave or for your plane to take off, try to chat with people, even if you think they are uninteresting. Do this even if it’s out of your comfort zone.

This is valid especially when you need to sleep at night in a train station or in an airport: it’s better to find a boring companion than become prey for undesirable people.

2. Refuse with a smile

When someone insistently offers to help you or give you something, trust your gut. If you’re unsure whether to trust that person or not, refuse the gift with grace. What really matters in these situations is to avoid making enemies.

3. Pretend you don’t speak the language

I have used this technique multiple times (including my home country) and it is my favorite by far. When you pretend you don’t speak the language you become an uninteresting target not only for conversation but also for robbery.

Why? Many robbers approach people in a friendly way in order to gain their trust: if you can speak their language but don’t tell them, you’ll be able to discern their true motives before they actually commit them.

4. Look shady yourself

Changing looks is one of the best ways to push away annoying people. Anyone can transform into a unapproachable person just by rumpling their clothing, messing up their hair, and generally appearing in a state of disarray.

Chatty or dangerous people may move on to more amicable looking targets instead.

5. Act unpredictable

I know this one might sound weird, but it really works. I know a guy who uses this technique not only while traveling, but also to skip the line at the post office.

Nothing scares people more than an unpredictable person who gives them blank looks or chats loudly with an imaginary friend.

6. Talk on the phone

How about being engaged in a fake conversation on the phone? This technique always works, especially when you are alone. You can talk about anything: just make sure you don’t keep looking around as if you were suspicious yourself.

7. Run away

No tip is as effective as this one. If a situation becomes too hard to handle, just hold your breath, raise your heels and don’t look back.

Livia Iacolare is a contributing editor to Mashable.com, as well as a video reporter for Intruders.tv. Her job allows her to live anywhere she wants and, in fact, she often moves to different cities (depending on where her current partner is located). For more Livia, check out her personal blog.

 
 

About The Author

Livia Iacolare

Livia Iacolare is a contributing editor to Mashable.com, as well as a video reporter for Intruders.tv. Her job allows her to live anywhere she wants and, in fact, she often moves to different cities (depending on where her current partner is located). For more Livia, check out her personal blog.

  • http://sense-maker.blogspot.com Gonggg

    Perhaps one other way, is to avoid making direct eye contact.
    Other ways of indirectly sending a clear signal without any form of provocation is to put on ear phones on an MP3 player for instance.

    If you are in the bus, find a seat near the bus driver or near the entrance. Should the situation requires it, quickly get off the bus.

  • http://www.geekonabike.co.uk Ben Steele

    I like tip number 5, strikes me as the kind of thing that would work really well here in Britain, where everyone loves a good queue.

  • http://www.bravenewtraveler.com Ian MacKenzie

    Thanks for the extra tips Gonggg, and Ben, I agree. No better way to get by queues…

  • http://www.eyeflare.com/ Jack

    Another tip, related to number 5 really, is to look poor rather than shady. Keeps muggers and rip-off artists away quite well! Can be a great way to stay below the radar when backpacking, esp in rich countries. Just remember to clean up before getting to a nice hotel or similar… or you risk getting turned away.

The Season →

Jeremy and Kevin race to finish their jump lines before the snow flies.

Culture + Religion →

Christine Garvin makes an admission: she doesn't know how to deal with death.

Activism + Politics →

In celebration of International Women’s Day today, hundreds of women marched through...

ESL Teaching →

She had cut and pasted different passages from different websites, compiled them into one...

Yoga →

Yep, that know-it-all-wanna-be yoga guru is headed in your direction.

Health + Lifestyle →

Try these natural homemade remedies from around the globe before you dish out dollars for...

Health + Lifestyle →

If you're in the United States and looking for information about where to get vaccinated,...

Dance →

Happy Birthday to the most fun you can have with your clothes on!

Health + Lifestyle →

One more proven health benefit of studying the "supreme ultimate boxing."

Healthcare →

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Find out what you can do to get involved.

Parenting →

The first few months of pregnancy can be quite daunting for any new mother. Put a...

Consciousness →

A short film on spiritual activism teaches us how to handle the swine flu pandemic...and...

Religion →

If you look around, you'll see an unprecedented movement towards bettering our world.