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Photo: Francesco Rachello
I would classify myself as landing almost directly in the middle between introvert and extrovert. At least, that’s what most of those fun personality tests have told me.
Sometimes I get energy from being around people, while other times I need to refresh with some serious alone time. So I can easily appreciate view points that fall on either side of the equation.
But being an introverted traveler is not something we often discuss. It almost seems like the antithesis of going out to explore the world to say “I’m not much interested in meeting the people that are a part of it.” Which is why I so appreciated a recent article by Sophia Dembling over at World Hum entitled, Confessions of an Introverted Traveler.
I love how Dembling sheepishly admits “I’m always happy enough when interesting people stumble into my path,” she says. “And when the chemistry is right, I enjoy it.” Hear, hear. But going out of your way to meet people? Striking up a conversation with a random person? Not really her thing, and I can relate (unless I’ve had a particularly large amount of caffeine that day).
What’s so wrong with being an introvert, anyway? Well, as Dembling notes:
I have long been shamed out of owning my introversion by the extroverts who dominate American culture. Extroversion has long been considered healthier than introversion, and introverts often try to push against our natural tendencies in order to fit in, to seem “normal” so people will stop scolding us.
Yeah, what’s up with that? Can’t us innies get just as much from hiking the hills of a new city, reading about the history of a Cathedral or slum, or watching locals pass by as we sit on a bench Unter der Linden as those who like to chat up every person that walks by?
Extroversion Benefits
Photo: Ed Yourdon
I was at a concert last night where I noticed a completely obvious “benefit” of being an extrovert. There was a guy who chatted people up left and right, who had obtained a backstage access badge due to his personality “tendencies.”
That’s not the part that got me, though. When we stepped outside for him to smoke a cigarette, he confessed he wanted to smoke “something else”… except security was hovering. Suddenly, another guy came up and lit a joint.
Bam! Undercover security rolls up and grabs both of them to kick them out. The guy with the backstage pass just says, “Hey, man, I’m with the band,” and the security guy lets him go. The other guy, who didn’t say anything – well, you know what happened to him.
In other words, in travel, as in life, it pays to know how to be that “healthier” talkative person. No doubt those extroverts get bigger discounts at hostels, are better equipped to haggle at a market, and may get in with the locals – and more authentic local culture – than introverts.
But maybe, if we let those extroverts get the extras they thrive on (like getting out of sticky situations), and allow those introverts to enjoy their time watching others without making them feel less for “not getting out there,” it could work out for all of us.
As for me, guess it depends on the day. I’ll take a few extras now and again.
Do you think introverted travelers should make more of an effort to connect with people during their travels? Share your thoughts below.
Christine Garvin
Christine Garvin is a certified Nutrition Educator and holds a MA in Holistic Health Education. She is the founder/editor of Living Holistically...with a sense of humor and co-founder of Confronting Love. When she is not out traveling the world, she is busy writing, doing yoga, and performing hip-hop and bhangra. She also likes to pretend living in her hippie town of Fairfax, CA is like being on vacation.
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I’m definitely in the middle, too. I enjoy sharing a few drinks with people, but all sight-seeing and traveling I prefer to do on my own.
Thanks for the post. I feel less like I have to defend myself to my friends when I run off for the weekend alone!
Thanks for this thoughtful article! I am an innie and had blindly accepted the idea that when on the road if you are not outgoing you are doing it wrong. But the truth is I find learning about the history and soaking in the culture and atmosphere of a new place to be the most fulfilling part of my own travels. I think on my next trip I won’t put as much pressure on myself to morph into a more extroverted version of myself. I can just be me at home and abroad and meet new and interesting people as they stumble across my path
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I’m pretty introverted and I can’t handle hostels for longer than a night or two, I’ve had a lot of success with Couchsurfing though. But I’m fairly circumspect about who I’ll request a couch from, I write a personalised email to 1-2 people I really like the sound of and about 80% of the time it turns out really well. Of course, I have to spend energy connecting with my host while I am with them, but I find that couchsurfing often provides its own structure; you have together-time one to one with your hosts in the evenings and very often don’t see them for a long stretch in the daytime while they are at work or you are between hosts.
In terms of life skills, I agree that getting to the top of NGOs is probably an extrovert thing, as is volunteering, but my degree is in Arabic and Hebrew and I found that the best linguists tended to be introverts; extrovert types get very good at speaking but often don’t have the patience to sit by themselves and sort out their grammer, etc, so do badly on other skills. Even if you’re totally fluent, being semi-illiterate in your foreign language is not ideal for anyone!
I’ve spent a lifetime in travel and the extrovert types most often are the ones who talk a lot and say nothing, go places and see nothing, have experiences but learn nothing. They’re the best argument for the rest of us to get in touch with our inner sociopaths.
I’ve traveled with both dispositions. Either way, there are drawbacks that come with the benefits. It’s nice to be left alone, but if you don’t know the place, you’re probably not going to eat as much great food unless you rendez-vous with locals who know where to go and what to get.
Wow! What a series of interesting discussions..Its been researched that most people on our planet are introverted and more trustworthy..However, as you said being an
ambivert is the best..Being too much of an extrovert can get you in the company of unwanted people and being too much of an introvert can leave you feeling “left
out”..A balance is absolutely necessary! Being an ambivert is great if you are a traveler!
Well-written! It’s funny, because in all those ‘tests’ (which I think use Jungian personality types) I always come up about 51% introvert and 49% extrovert, so I’m also right in the middle. I have found though, that my life has been such that I have learned to be an extrovert and it has ALWAYS stood me in good stead. I think your examples of the guy at the concert are right on the button, as it is very useful to be able to strike up conversations and make connections, especially when in unfamiliar and possibly stressful situations.
That being said, I am so quick and ready to slip into my introverted self when the occasion presents itself. Give me a quiet patch of sunlight and a book and I’m the happiest man in the world.
It’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: balance is the key!
“More important than being strong, is remaining flexible”
I can identify my self with the text, as some days I feel extremely extroverted and others I just want to sit on a bench watching the world pass by.
As I travelled Morocco a few weeks ago, I realized most people there, guys mainly, thought it was very strange that I was a woman travelling alone. As soon as I sat down somewhere someone came up and asked why I was alone, and told me I should get some friends so I didn’t have to be alone. As if it was something negative.
I can be happy by my self, and I was happy to read that I am not the only one.
Hello!
I liked that this article was put up and that it causes people to question why it is that extroversion is seen as positive while introversion is looked down upon. I myself am like you in that sometimes I’m in extrovert mode and I can talk with strangers or have a good time with people, but sometimes I’d like to have some time to myself. I have felt the nudge from people to act more extroverted when I’m not feeling it– I’ll be at a party or something, listening to the conversation, watching the interplay between people, thinking my own thoughts, and someone will pipe up with something like, “Well, you’re a quiet one, aren’t you?”, or one that I really hate, “Smile!” If I had felt like saying something or randomly smiling to myself I would be doing that. No need to “remind” me.
In a traveling situation I think being by myself can be great- no comprimising, no schedules.. If I see something interesting, I can go check it out right then. If I change my mind on something I had wanted to do, I’m free to do it. Also, no one is next to me to complain about how much we’ve been walking or anything like that. That was one thing I was bummed to not to see in this article was why it can be good to be an introvert at times.
Imagine the opposite. That there are no people to meet, only places to see. It would be such an empty, dismal experience. The only reason I could understand why a man or woman would want to travel yet meet people only in the most superficial of aspects is if that traveler doesn’t want incessant advances made to her or him… Me, I’d never have to worry about that one!