Kicking and screaming
I’m certainly not the first new parent to say “ohmigodhowmylifehaschanged” and “you’llneverunderstanduntilyouhaveyourown”. My circumstances have changed, to be sure, but not in a way that is beyond comprehension. I can still make morning coffee, I just do it with one hand. We’ll sure as hell still travel. But let me be the first to say that, since Lily has arrived, it is the world that has begun to act differently.
Sitting here staring at the most beautiful little girl in all of existence–a fact that is back up by three unbiased sources (mom, großmutter and bacia)–I can’t help but know that something has changed. Namely, I can no longer hide who I am. Eventually, through her, my faults will be exposed and that’s ok.
For now, She is perpetually curious, smiles when she poops, constantly farts (loudly), passes out after meals, and is unashamed about unloading curdled-milk spittle on to any unsuspecting party. In essence, she is everything that we should be as a society; open, comfortable and curious. And I will spend the remainder of my life staving off the forces that would tell her to be ashamed, to unconditionally surrender to authority, to hide who she is, to pursue worldly goods over emotional gratification, and to just generally shut up and do what you’re told.
I will ultimately fail. One man cannot fight an enemy that has already undermined him from within. But maybe if I work real hard, I can buy enough time to teach a few important things. Think for yourself. Never stop asking questions. “Do unto others…”. Remember the golden words: “Please”, “Thank you”, and “You’re welcome”.
Either way, the world has never been the same since 21:36CST, July 6th–the day Lilian Margaret entered it.
9 responses to Kicking and screaming
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Tim Patterson said on August 31, 2008
Wow. Congratulations. Sorry I’m a little late. Hope all is well.
Lauren Lim said on July 19, 2008
JB! Believe it or not I have been wondering about Lily while traveling in India. Congratulations is not vast enough of a word. Third paragraph beautiful – see, already you’re an amazing dad. Holy cats, what with these Matador babies!
Eva Holland said on July 18, 2008
Wow, a belated CONGRATS!!!! Don’t know how I missed this post the first time around… Loved it, even if a little after the fact.
Funny, what you said about everything going from horror to bliss – my mother (21 hours in labour) still insists that pregnancy was “the most beautiful time” in her life. Insert mixed metaphor about 20/20 hindsight and rose-coloured glasses…
Congrats again to both of you!
Jacob Bielanski said on July 13, 2008
I have recommended “The Business of Being Born” to everyone I know–in spite of their rolled eyes. We continue to pour over the thousands of things that would’ve definitely been different had we “packed the bag” and went to the hospital when she started having contractions.
What’s amazing, though is that everything was horrible–until two seconds after Lily was out. I’m not referring to my own emotions, but rather to the visible and audible reactions of my precious bride. In one instant she went from “Oh my god this is horrible” to “oh my god, I’d do this again in a heartbeat”–and hasn’t left that state.
Julie Schwietert Collazo said on July 12, 2008
JB- You may have just seriously discouraged me from children. 41 hours?!
Have you seen the Rikki Lake documentary about midwifes and home births? I know– Rikki Lake– but gloss over that minor detail–it’s a fantastic doc. Course, you may not want to be seeing any more births for awhile!
Jacob Bielanski said on July 12, 2008
Thanks a lot guys!
Not only was she 10 days “late”, but it took 41 hours of labor (12 hours of “hard” labor) to get her into this world. Drug free. Thank god we had the greatest f*%kin’ midwife in the entire goddamn universe, otherwise my no-chemical, no-drugs, all-organic wife would’ve been handing me the keys and telling me to get her to the nearest place that gave epidurals (wouldn’t have had to been a hospital at that point).
Lola Akinmade said on July 12, 2008
Wow. Congratulations, JB! She’s so cute!
Julie Schwietert Collazo said on July 12, 2008
JB- SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU! SOOO GLAD LILY IS FINALLY HERE (hello, 10 days late!0
Love this part:
“For now, She is perpetually curious, smiles when she poops, constantly farts (loudly), passes out after meals, and is unashamed about unloading curdled-milk spittle on to any unsuspecting party. In essence, she is everything that we should be as a society; open, comfortable and curious.”
Asi es.
Sarah Lancaster said on July 11, 2008
Great post. And congratulations on a gorgeous baby!