1. You’ve forgotten what a real dive bar is.
Chattanooga is cluttered with bars infested by either the type of people you avoided in high school or the actual people you avoided in high school. People at these places will gladly pay for an overpriced cup of Hunch Punch with full knowledge that the same shitty concoction is being brewed in a bathtub by a bunch of frat guys down the street. They’re the the breed who floods your Instagram with filtered group photos posed in front of expensively tacky wall decorations. They invade your Facebook wall with rave reviews of the “dive bar scene” — about places established seven months ago.