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Photo by OakleyOriginals

Annoyed with smudges on the touch-screen of your smart phone? Ever dreamed of dressing your cat in an electric blue wig? Have no fear – these ridiculous inventions could be just what you’re looking for!

There’s a solution to every “problem.”

1. Wearable Tent

Because when you’re hiking and you need to make an emergency overnight stop, the wearable tent is the piece of apparel which might just save your life. Who cares if it’s shapeless and gives you hips wide enough to birth a hippo? If you need a nap, just plunk down in the middle of the trail and snooze away!

Of course, you still have to nail the pegs into the ground… and I guess carry a ground sheet. And then maybe a good sleeping bag and some extra sweaters.

2. Hair in a Can

Trust me on this one, guys – a receding hairline is okay. Spraying fake hair onto your balding melon of a head is not okay. Especially when the spray-painted hair looks like a wet shag carpet covered in dog feces.

Photo by pputz2001

3. Phone Fingers

I don’t know about you, but I despise having fingerprints all over my phone. I mean, it’s not my current lack of income, sick family members or inability to travel that’s getting me down. My real problem is a dirty iPhone screen.

Fortunately, an Australian company decided to cash in on this pesky problem by developing latex coverings for your fingers. Finger condoms, if you will. They come in different colors (pink for the ladies!), and damn, won’t you look cool wearing these babies around town?

Don’t know the size of your fingers? No worries, the company has developed a sizing chart. I know what you’re thinking – great, another body extension for men to compete with in sizes.

4. The Menstruation Machine

We’ve already discussed this one on Life, but it warrants another mention. Men, it’s time you knew what it feels like every month for the millions of women who suffer through painful period cramps. Yes, you too can have your very own period!*

*Tampons sold separately.

5. Anti-Eating Face Mask

Great for the sadist on your shopping list, this invention is perfect for the holidays. I even considered purchasing one myself! Curb those insane cravings by wearing this muzzle/clamp/torture device over your face to prevent binge eating and general lack of will-power. You don’t have to fight this one alone, my friend. The Anti-Eating Face Mask can help.

Photo by pputz2001

6. Kitty Wigs

Cats. Wearing wigs. Electric blue and bright violet wigs, posing in various forms. Their selling slogan is “The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs.” My roommate Matt and I went into fits of laughter when browsing the site; we had never seen such a delightful display of kitty creativity. My favourite was the grey cat looking rather stern and grandmotherly in a blonde wig.

Matt then immediately ordered the book for his cat-crazy girlfriend as her Christmas present… so hey, I guess it works.

7. To-Do Tattoo

Yes, in an effort to double the time it takes for you to scrawl a message on the back of your hand, you can first tattoo the stationery to your hand, and THEN write out your list. Once complete, you can scratch it off your handy to-do list. Pun intended.

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About The Author

Candice Walsh

Candice Walsh is a Professional Experience Collector and full-time writer, blogger, and inventor of job titles that don't make much sense. She's based out of St. John's, Newfoundland. Follow her website for more shenanigans.

  • Nick Rowlands

    These are great! Er, perhaps I shouldn’t admit this, but I nearly got a to-do list really tattooed to my hand when I was younger because I wrote on my hand so much. It was gonna be all funky and everything, like a scroll of handy importance.

  • Carlo Alcos

    The grid shirt is cool! How many times have you found yourself saying, “a little lower. No, lower. And to the right. No, the other right! That’s it, yeah…ahhh…”

    What about the shake weight?

  • Adam

    Awesome. I was dying the entire time. And the final one was the topper. Just great.

  • maggie

    though, I’ve always wanted a snuggie… especially since the snuggie sutra was released… and i think kitty wigs is the best thing ever.. ;D But, still, hilarious.

    (i think butt covers gets the prize for most useless, in my books… i mean, seriously. wtf. )

  • Julie

    The Snuggie is horrendous. I don’t care how sexy someone is, they look horrible in a Snuggie.

  • Candice Walsh

    Hahaha not gonna lie, I totally want a Snuggie.

  • Sarah Park

    I’m not even gonna pretend that I’m not the proud owner of a Snuggie. It’s probably a lot less warm than an actual blanket, but the added style points totally make up for it.

  • Jeff Bartlett

    That wearable tent is too much.

  • Reannon

    Hey, I like the baby mop idea! Although if your floor is so dirty that you need to have your baby mop it, then perhaps having him crawl around on it isn’t such a good idea….But still, Might as well put the kid to use while you can.

    I agree with Carlos! That shake weight thing needs to be on this list.

  • Jess

    Ha! Cats in wigs! That’s… oh… geez. Okay, it makes me smile. But what’s with everyone hating on the Snuggie? (All right, I admit I’m wearing a Snuggie while typing this, so I may be a bit biased). I still swear it was made up on the TV show Scrubs – JD got a “slanket”, the blanket with sleeves. THAT made me want one!

  • pablochu

    I have laughed so much with this! Very good writing, Candice

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