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How to Become Californian in 15 Easy Steps

California
by Pamela Chan Jul 21, 2016

1. Order In-n-Out like an expert.

It’s more than just a burger, it’s a way of life. Animal style Double-Doubles, fresh crispy fries, and tasty ice cream milkshakes. Seriously, you know you’re a local when you’ve become an expert at ordering off that secret menu. Prepare to be amazed.

2. Have more board shorts and bikini tops than absolutely necessary or even healthy.

There’s no rule saying that bikini tops or board short bottoms can’t substitute as cute everyday wear as well. Mix, match, pair that bold graphic one-piece suit with some tattered jean shorts. Or, why not cover up with a floaty floral kimono, a long lacy summer dress, or that tie-dyed Guns N’ Roses t-shirt that’s been stashed in the back of your closet since yesteryear?

3. Understand the politics. SoCal despises NorCal and NorCal couldn’t hate SoCal any less.

Unfortunate, but oh so true. Whether it’s music, sports teams, lifestyle, or just about anything else you can think of, you can bet there’s hefty competition between the two halves. And you thought your family had problems.

4. Never refer to your home as “Cali.”

Ever.

5. Hollywood? Stars? Glitz and glam? Locals couldn’t care less.

The red carpet life is so over and done with. We probably already know someone who knows someone who has a cousin that dated the dude from that blockbuster hit—and trust us, he is not all that. At all.

6. Know instantly where people are from just by the first three digits of their phone number.

Yes, area codes say a lot, especially in SoCal. 310, 818, 909, 626, 714, 949… Who do you represent?

7. Develop an inevitable avocado habit.

The Californian soils, seasoned growers, and powerful magic of being California-grown makes our avocados it all the better. Hass will change your life. Say it with me: H-A-S-S.

8. Own at least a dozen pair of flip flops or sandals.

These are no doubt the official shoe of any Californian and are essential for day-to-day life. The former are an absolute beach necessity, the latter are needed for when you’re not stepping onto the sand — i.e. everything else. Cool, comfy, and chic, lovely pairs such as these, these, or these, are simple, savvy, and yet super sophisticated. Trust us, you’ll need something in every single color, so stock on up.

9. Have done at least one of those lean, green, and mean juice cleanses everybody’s been raving about.

Don’t judge. You’ll actually feel rather rejuvenated and refreshed after the fact. Pressed Juicery or Moon Juice, anyone? Gulp down Yerba Mate tea for breakfast and a “Life Force Super Shot” for dinner. Even Ms. Elle Woods herself opts for after-work-out green smoothies from Kreation. If you’re in a rush, don’t fret– just have Nekter or Juice Crafters deliver to your door. No excuses peeps. It’s time to juice it up.

10. Make Casual Friday an every-day-of-the-week sort of thing.

In any part of California, north or south, employees never seem to fret over what to wear to work in the mornings. You won’t likely find any tech company guru contemplating which tie—solid silk or striped—to wear because “office attire” pretty much equals “daily attire.” Let’s just say that Californian workers carry a more relaxed form of dress code—some people probably will never need to own a full-on suit, tux, and bowtie unless they absolutely want or really need to.

11. Understand everything there needs to be known about fresh produce.

California is full of farmers, which means it’s filled with an amazing array of fruits and veggies—think the best artichokes, blueberries, broccoli, or cherries you’ll ever find. Farmer’s markets are huge in the state, with family-friendly food festivals often gracing local areas on weekdays and weekends alike to provide hungry bellies with sustainable, homegrown goods. A trip to the world famous Original Farmers Market is more of a weekly shopping routine than anything else.

12. Be the Best. Driver. On. The. Face. Of. The. Planet.

NOT.

13. Instantly duck, cover, and hold as soon as there’s a rattle, a roar, a shake, or even a quake.

You’ve been trained since your kinder years to be “turtle safe” – just like Bert.

14. Have Mexican for dinner every night.

Think Burrito Mondays. Taco Tuesdays. Enchilada Wednesdays. Tostada Thursdays. Fajita Fridays. Siesta Saturdays. Salsa Sundays. And then all over again. What? Nos encanta la comida Mexicana.

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