How to piss off someone from Michigan

Talk shit about Detroit.

Detroit is more than just the negative headlines you read. People from Michigan are well aware of the city’s decline — you don’t need to remind us. It’s also a city full of spirit, and local residents are doing all sorts of cool things to revitalize the area.

Further discussing the city’s painful past is only kicking the city when it’s already down. Also, stop referencing Journey’s mention of “South Detroit” — South Detroit isn’t a real place.

Claim any other state is the Mitten State.

Don’t get it twisted, Wisconsin. Michigan is the one and only Mitten State, and any Michigander will proudly point to where their hometown is on their left hand when asked where they’re from. Michigan is one of the most recognizable states on a US. map, and we’re called the “High-Five State of America” and “Land of the Hand” for a reason.

Ignore the deliciousness of Michigan craft beer.

If you’re not a big beer drinker then fine, you get a pass, I guess. Just know that we take our beer here seriously and yes, we will be sitting on our throne of judgment judging and mocking you plebes drinking your PBR or Bud Light.

With the abundance of breweries in our state — including Bell’s, Short’s, Founder’s, and a ton of other great ones –it’s hard to not become a bit of a beer snob here. Drinking “national” beers is a sin in this state for sure.

Forget your driving skills, especially in the winter.

If you’re born and bred in Michigan, we don’t understand how you can forget how to drive in the snow every year when the season comes back around. Always be safe, of course, but driving 10-20 miles below the speed limit when there are only a couple inches of snow on the road just makes you look like a rookie Michigander.

If you’re from out of state, don’t worry, we just assume you naturally don’t know how to drive anyway.

Drink any coffee other than Biggby Coffee.

Sorry Starbucks, but we pretty much try to pretend like you don’t exist. Biggby’s expansive menu and array of sweet coffee confections tops anything Starbucks could ever offer. If we’re not supporting a different local coffeeshop (shout out to Water Street and Fourth Coast in Kzoo!), then we’re likely to be found at Biggby.

Be from or talk about anything to do with Ohio.

Understand it’s born into every Michigander to naturally despise our southern neighbor, and supporting any sports team from there is basically denouncing your Michigan allegiance. Ohio is just another curse word to us and yes, you should say you’re sorry after mentioning it.

Throw away your pop or beer cans; also, call pop anything other than pop.

Every time you throw away a pop or beer can, that’s a perfectly good 10 cents that could have gone towards ANOTHER delicious beer or pop. Every good Michigander collects their cans until they can buy another six pack, or at least a tall boy.

If you call pop anything other than pop we’re likely going to stare at you hard for a quick second. It’s not soda, fool, and it certainly isn’t a “Coke.”

Knock any of our sports teams.

If there’s one thing people from Michigan are passionate about it’s our sports teams. The Lions, Tigers, Red Wings, Pistons, Michigan, and Michigan State are all hot-button items the average Michigander loves to chat about. We love our teams to the end, even if some (ahem, Lions) can’t seem to catch a break and always leave us feeling disappointed.

Underestimate the beauty of Michigan; think that Michigan’s only season is winter; comment on how cold it is here.

Yes, Michigan gets cold — in the winter. You don’t need to tell us twice. We know that’s just an unfortunate side effect of living in this part of the country. Regardless of how unpleasant the long winter can be, one of the great things about the Mitten State is its natural beauty during all of the seasons. And yes, we actually do have more than one season; although, most residents joke we have 2 seasons — winter and construction. All of our seasons are beautiful, and we celebrate them each with various festivals, events, and traditions throughout the state.

Instead of traveling to other parts of the country in the summer, most Michigan residents choose to head “up north.” We have five Great Lakes to choose from with award-winning beaches, long-lasting sunsets, and cozy coastal towns. The Upper Peninsula has its own set of unique culture and customs that make you feel like you’re going back in time. With so much at home, why would we need to go anywhere else?

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  • Bo

    “it’s our sports teams”
    grammar

    • shutdafrtdoor

      You people must not be from Michigan if your gonna be the GRAMMAR POLICE! Christ folk’s this is AWESOME!!! Especially regarding driving and Ohio! Lighten up and laugh with the rest of us!

  • Guest

    Corection: We have four of the five great lakes.

  • DNHarris

    Correction needed: We are connected to four of the five great lakes.

    • DA

      Correct!

  • Lisa

    Can we also point out that if you point to your left hand to show where you’re from it’s backwards?! You (or at least I and all my family and friends do) point to your RIGHT hand to show where you’re from.

    • Brent

      I don’t agree with that. I always use my left. Probably depends on which way the person is facing you. Born and bred Michigander right here.

      • Bill

        Same. If someone is sitting next to me I point to my left hand. If they’re away from me I use my right. Either way, who gives a shit? Petty argument.

      • Brent

        I got downvoted for saying which hand I use? You must be from Ohio.

      • Joy

        It’s been an informal social poll of mine to ask others from Michigan to show me where they are from, as an ice breaker (especially when at Founders). It has been my observation that people hailing from the West side of the state will hold up their right hand as a map, while people from the East side will use their left hand. Not a hard and fast rule, but definitely a trend!
        Also a born and bred Michigander!

        This didn’t make the list, but I would avoid calling us Michiganians….

        • davemon

          How ’bout “Michiganiacs”, as Ted Nugent would say?

        • davemon

          it’s easier to point to the west side of the state if you use your right hand and point with your left… maybe that’s why folks from the west side (like me) use their right hand.

        • JJ

          Born and bred in SE MI, I’ve never once, nor has anyone I’ve seen, used their left hand. That’s just plain nonsensical!

        • guest

          I disagree. I hate when people say Michigander. A gander is a goose. I am not a waterfowl.

          • fresh_coast

            it’s a flock of geese, i think. we stick together

          • matt

            that’s would be called a gaggle of geese

      • Shelia Galloway

        I use my left but its because I turn sideways so they can see my hand on the left after all the thumb is on the right side of the state so it makes perfect logic to always use the left hand XD.

        • suzipoobear

          Or…you could be from the UP and use the right hand to point to where on the left hand you are from….

    • Paul McIntyre

      That depends on which side of the hand you use, but the fact she said “five great lakes” and “the left hand” makes me think there must be a FIB or Ohioan in her family.

      • Terry

        FIB… that made my day!

    • http://theyearofslowfashion.com/ Rachel Bethke

      or you can just flip your hand around cause you have a wrist :D

    • KZB

      It depends on which surface of which hand you use. as long as the thumb is on the left side, it could be the back of your left hand or the palm of your right hand. :)

    • AM

      I’m from Grand Rapids, if I showed someone where I was from with my left hand palm facing it would be backwards, palm out, it works, sooo I just use my right hand…

    • ohYESiDID

      I always used the back of my left hand to show where I’m from. Maybe it’s because I’m right-handed and point to the city of Flint with my right index finger.

  • Michael

    As someone who has lived in Michigan for the past 43 years I’d agree with this. I’d also like to add something else that pisses some of us off is that people don’t think there is life above the bridge – THERE IS. good article! gonna head out to get me a Biggby coffee as we speak, although black coffee for me. you can keep the teddy bears coffee for the teens.

  • Andy

    1.) I always use my right for the lower peninsula and the left for the UP.
    2.) I’d point out as well that the CEO and founder of Starbucks did his undergraduate studies in Michigan. So, even picking Statbucks is choosing a Mihigan influenced institution.

    • Alison

      Starbucks is evil. Biggby for life!

      • D Evonne Moss

        Being raised in Lansing, I have to say I’ve never heard of Biggby. I’m a Quality Dairy coffee drinker. Gotta have that fresh donut with my coffee.

        Could care less about Detroit! Love the UP!

        • David Moon

          there is a biggby not even 1 mile from the QD on Pine and Saginaw St. and right inbetween those two businesses is my Computer Shop, you should come buy a new computer to post comments with!

          • D Evonne Moss

            I grew up in Lansing, but live in Southern Georgia now. Haven’t been in Michigan for almost 8 years. For the life of me, I can’t remember Biggby. Sorry. Don’t hate me because I don’t remember.

          • RKE123

            You don’t remember Biggby because it used to be called Beaners 8 years ago — do you recall a Beaners?

          • D Evonne Moss

            I remember Beaners, but never went there.

          • Amrose

            Because it is and always will be BEANERS!!!

        • Paige

          Holy crap….. are you serious? Being raised in Lansing you’ve never heard of Biggby?! The first Bearers (Biggby) was in Lansing, their CEO a MSU alum.

        • http://theyearofslowfashion.com/ Rachel Bethke

          the first bigby was in East Lansing :) but thats OK your just only missing out a little. QD is amazing too :D

          • me

            I hadn’t hear of Biggby (Beaners) until I went to visit my aunt and uncle who moved to Ohio when transferred by GM. Perhaps that is because I spent most of my Michigan life toward the north….

    • Mrs. S.

      No, went to Northern Michigan on football scholarship.

    • VG

      Yes, he went to NMU. He also give NMU students $150 a term in Star-bucks to begin their addiction. My daughter is living proof.

      • LM

        That is 100% not true. We don’t even get a discount. -Recent NMU grad.

  • J

    South Detroit is a real place! Windsor, Ontario. is called south Detroit. The guy in the song is Canadian.

    • WRONG

      No…South Detroit is not a real place.
      Signed,

      From Detroit.

    • Steve

      Actually that is wrong, Steve Perry has mentioned in previous interviews that he visited a person (trying to be nice) was from Taylor and since he did not know where that was, he referred to it as “south Detroit”.

      • Michelle

        The way I heard it was he was staying at a hotel in Detroit, and South Detroit went with the previous lines of the song. No other reason.

      • Matt Berry

        Just because Steve Perry didn’t know where he was and thus came up with a name out of thin air doesn’t make it a real place.

  • HiLLjO

    Would you believe, that people from Nebraska call “doing donuts” in the parking lot “spinning cookies?!” NOOOOOO!!!

    • Ed

      wait. what!? this is blowing my mind right now.

    • Rachel

      I am born and raised in Michigan, currently living with a girl from Nebraska. I told her about this comment and she says they call it “whipping kitties” ! Makes no sense to me!

      • Matthew St-Germain

        That’s the child-safe terminology. It’s actually “whipping shitties.” At least that’s what we call it in Minnesota.

    • PolarBear

      Whaaat?? Hahahaha! Dawgone Nebraska folk.

    • fresh_coast

      i call it, “doing Dilla’s”

  • Sara

    Going back in time in the UP? Ignorant comment. Enjoyed the article until I saw that. ..

    • Kelsey

      What’s the problem? It is like going back in time. That isn’t ignorant or even a negative thing. It’s refreshing.

      • Danielle

        I think Sara’s point is that the UP (EUP native, here) is not like going back in time in regards to technology… We have all the same up -to-date amenities you can find in the lower- we do have indoor plumbing and electricity ;), haha! Though I will say that things definitely do slow down when you cross the bridge. People aren’t all hurry hurry hurry… And that is definitely refreshing …

    • Paul McIntyre

      My guess is she was attempting to refer to Mackinac Island.

    • ryan

      I felt the exact same being born and living in the U.P 21 years of my life.

    • invinoveritas

      Yep, I thought the same when I read that. Going back in time? I don’t think the author has been to the UP. It’s just as modern as the LP, but way more awesome and with way more stuff to do.

      • lansingkb

        More stuff to do? Like what? Ice fish and uhh ice fish?

  • Drew Clock

    Correction: No one outside of Detroit cares about people talking shit about Detroit.

    • Dave

      I’m from Traverse City and anytime I travel people bitch about Detroit so yeah, people outside of Detroit care. And just because someone isn’t from Detroit doesn’t mean they don’t give a shit.

      • Tim

        From Lansing, live in Indianapolis now, and I’ll go to blows with coworkers for talking trash on Detroit, especially when they have never been there or have only been there once for part of one day.

        • ChaoticDiva

          Ugh! I hate Indianapolis snark towards Detroit. Metro native stuck in this redneck hellhole here. Glad to see I’m not alone!

    • Nate

      It’s like someone picking on your family member. No matter how distant or close, you stand up for family.

    • Casey Sattler

      You sir, got a down-vote! I’ll give you a minute to recover…

  • Thomas

    I remember when Biggby’s used to be called Beaners.

    • T. A.

      Not very PC.

      • Casey Sattler

        *rolls eyes*

        • T. A.

          You’re an idiot. Don’t really get sarcasm do you, or the truth apparently.

      • Bella

        It is not politically correct to name your business after what it is made from? People are too sensitive and make everything about them. Coffee beans……. Shoot someone better start naming crackers something else because that is so offensive… LOL impudence.

        • T. A.

          My comment was sarcastic, but still it’s the true reason they changed the name.

      • mikal

        Maybe they should change the name of coffee beans to coffee pods? Then the name “beaner” would make no sense, and you’d have to find something else to be offended with.

    • Some nigger in Detroit.

      Someone HAD to be offended by an amusing advertisement…

    • Bella

      Right… It was ridiculous it had to be changed… It makes those offended look ignorant. Coffee BEANS are what makes up most the sales so why not call it Beaners. I still call it Beaners lol

      • Brian

        I will always call it Beaners.

        • C.b. Sias

          And I will always call “it” Pine Knob. (Who gets this one?)

          • Chris Wernette

            I do. Go to Pine Knob (DTE) every summer for concerts.

          • mikal

            “(Who gets this one?)”

            Who wouldn’t?

          • C.b. Sias

            Who wouldn’t? Well, the kids who aren’t old enough to remember when it was simply Pine Knob, and the people who haven’t lived here that long. Duh.

    • http://theyearofslowfashion.com/ Rachel Bethke

      they changed it when they decided to expand into more the west side of michigan. Smart move but i still call it Beaners :)

    • Kimberly

      I’ve never been to Biggby’s and won’t patronize a place who changes the original name to pacify to pc police. Beaners = coffee beans, because, you know, it’s a COFFEE shop! Implying anything else is just plain ignorant.

      • Amrose

        I completely agree…and I haven’t been back since…absolutely disgusting!!!!

      • the world is bigger than you

        yeah, and you would probably eat at a restaurant called moon crickets too. Way to not support local business ya ignorant townie.

      • benkozicki

        Please never procreate.

      • Blargh

        I worked at a Biggby during the whole name transition. I remember nonstop complaints for months. Clearly this is still oddly upsetting to some people? The company decided as an executive decision and with hopes of expanding across the country, that they should pull themselves awar from the derogatory term.

        Is the coffee still good??

        Ok. No need for complaining then. Carry on.

      • MittenKitten

        Check out a great interview with Biggby’s founders in Corp! Magazine. They’re cool with it, so stop freaking out and go enjoy an Earl Grey latte made by the friendliest freakin’ employees ever.

      • Kouin

        first off, its a name. second you yourself have pacified the pc police yourself so don’t say anything about a company that is trying to make money for itself change its name to continue making money. and do NOT say you haven’t. we all have done it at some point in our lives. since beaners deals with spanish/american latinos, i’ll use an example dealing with race so you can wrap your tiny little brain around it. the following while taken from wikipedia, is TRUE. ‘The variants neger and negar, derive from the Spanish and Portuguese word negro (black), and from the now-pejorative French nègre (negro). Etymologically, negro, noir, nègre, and nigger ultimately derive from nigrum, the stem of the Latin niger (black) (pronounced [ˈniɡer] which, in every other grammatical case, grammatical gender, and grammatical number besides nominative masculine singular, is nigr-, the r is trilled).’ do you call african americans or any black friends you may have nigger? NO. you know why? it’s politically incorrect and a racial slur now. the original word pertaining to black africans, was not a slur, at least not like it is is 1800+. so you and amrose deal with your petty little issues unless you want to be stereotyped as a ‘blond’ have fun.

      • C.b. Sias

        I go there because it’s a Michigan company.

    • Sasha

      I didn’t even know it was a derogatory term until it was all over the news, neither did the 700 something I went to high school with. As Morgan Freeman stated once, the only way to stop racism is to stop talking about it. Now I know what a beaner is and that took 16 years, people need to stop being overly sensitive.

      • benkozicki

        When you say that “it took 16 years”, do you mean to say that you are only 16 years old: and therefore probably just some idiot kid who doesn’t know any better because you live in the sticks and your daddy’s had the same Confederate flag license plate on the front bumper of his truck since before you were born? Or are you an actual adult, and therefore a bigoted idiot?

        • Mark

          If she didn’t know what that term meant for sixteen years how is she a bigot? Do you know what moron means?

        • Ramani_Rayne

          I don’t see how him/her/they being 16 automatically points to all that. Seriously, I didn’t learn that was a slur until they changed it, and I was roughly 16.

          • http://JesusIsRisen.org/ DesireMercy

            I am almost 28 and just learned it’s derogatory. Some of us have better things to do than be concerned with a person’s ethnic background and or discover every ethnic slur created.

        • mTT

          wow you just over reacted, beaners? yes it is a racial slur but coffee “beans” were called “beans” way before the slur so don’t get up on your high horse and try to call out anyone for being racist when there clearly not. it just makes you sound like a prick

        • JAK84

          Wow, ignorance can be a completely innocent thing, as may be the case with Sasha and many other individuals unexposed to certain negative aspects of our society. But your response just epitomizes the extreme definition of “ignorance”… more along the lines of, well just being an ignorant fool

        • DLinz

          Just put DOWN that glue bottle ben……it’s rotting what’s left of your pathetic brain.

        • mikal

          Bendoucheski, you should probably cut your head off.

      • Sasha

        Thanks everyone for standing to my defense! All I meant was that I never had heard the term beaner in reference to a Mexican until I was 16. Yes I’m an adult, no my dad never flew the confederate flag. Grew up in Michigan in a town where everyone just got along for the most part, aside from the he said she said gossip. If it weren’t all over the news then I’m not sure I would’ve ever known it was racist, nor would I have known it referred to a group of people, at least not until I went to college.

        • mjh49783ab

          Wow! I knew what it meant when I was ten. I had to endure a part of my childhood growing up in Metro Detroit, and I saw quite a bit of racism there, and especially how 8 Mile Road was more than ‘just some street’, so one can certainly learn a lot of ugly stuff out that way. Thankfully, soon after that, my family relocated to a small town in the Thumb where people just weren’t like that. At least not in public.

          But you know what? It’s okay that you didn’t know until you were 16. I envy you a bit because I had to hear this kind of ugliness from other classmates at such a young age. Now that I’m 40, I can tell you that my best memories were from growing up in that small town, and certainly not from the ‘city’ when I was real little.

          Especially in my adult years I’ve learned to hate Metro Detroit, despite having family there, and now I live six hours north of it – with no regrets.

    • Michael Watters

      It will always be Beaners to me.

    • White Guy

      I’m offended by Cracker Barrel

    • Yeah Right

      Yeah I do not buy coffee from Biggbys cuz they caved in to political correctness when the name meant nothing but coffee beans!

  • MDF

    Only 1,2,4,5,7 and 8 apply to me (a native Detroiter). Also I don’t thing the Detroit thing is true because people from other cities in MI demean Detroit and Detroiters all of the time… until it’s time to be cool when traveling or if you’re a college student joining in on the trend of moving downtown/midtown.

  • NopeImDoneHere

    so pretty much kiss their asses or they hate you. people from different areas act different ways. learn to deal with or look like an a$$ :/

  • Darnel Johnston

    Just horrible, doesn’t really say much good about michigan. I split years ago for the coast.

  • hi there

    You people are so fucking retarded, I understand having pride from where you are from but you people take things to far. And the sad thing is….no one in America cares ig they offend your fucking state!

  • VG

    I am offended that the author clearly thinks that referring to Michigan is done with one hand. The ‘mitten’ is only one part of the state.
    Signed,
    Super Yooper

    • Rico

      Just use both hands and you can show both peninsulas.

    • MB

      How’s da weather up der, eh? Correction, Michigan is only on one hand because Yoopers = Canadians.
      –Every lower peninsula resident

      • April Ciolek

        Clearly you’ve never spent time in the U.P. Mostly Finlanders ;-)

      • aerofrce1

        Not every LP resident. I live in the LP but consider it only one piece of my home and I try as often as I can to get across that bridge.

        • Wini Ann Hayes

          I ‘m from LP , but I also love the UP…My brother lives up there and I love visiting … It’s beautiful there.

      • ZoomZoomDiva

        This is why there was a movement for the state of Superior. Southern flatlanders just didn’t get the Northwoods and the UP.

      • 1st generation downstater

        Da UP, just north of the bridge and south of heaven.

    • JoeMal

      Also, who “gladly” shows where they’re from with their hand?

      I always got annoyed when people asked me to do such nonsense.

      • Mark

        I had a State Trooper do that to me in Ohio.

  • Bassplaya26

    If Bigby could bother not burning their dark roast and not putting artificial sweetener in every single sweet beverage (even when they claim it doesn’t have it in it) I would drink it.

  • Bigby is gross

    aside from the Feces in a cup that is called bigby, i agree with this list.

  • justagirl

    Actually, we only have four Great Lakes to choose from, seeing as Lake Ontario is between Canada and New York… and our section of Lake Erie is basically a giant toxic sludge puddle, but ok.

  • Ajb

    Did you know we’re called Michiganders because Lincoln thought we sounded like geese? fun fact.

  • Grant M. Aho

    great article! makes me think of home. 1 thing tho: during college we definitely drank more PBR, Busch Lite, and Natty Lite than Founders or Shorts. Quantity over quality back then. Many locals will still drink a PBR or Budweiser in Petoskey. We do make some damn fine craft beers and wines though. Can’t forget the wines. I look forward to more articles about the Mitten.

  • Jess

    In traveling to other states and being asked where I’m from, I notice a lot of people assume I’m from Detroit. Why? The TWO penninsulas that make up Michigan are not solely comprised of one giant metropolis!
    Oh, and might I add: Keweenaw Brewing Company? Anybody?

    • ElvaNirakina

      I love KBC! But, seeing how there are no Bigby’s in the UP, I go to the locally owned coffee shops.

      • Nate

        Oh or New Holland Brewing Company! Who doesn’t enjoy a good Ichabod or Dragon’s Milk! Heyooo :)

        • Nava

          Don’t forget Shorts Brewery!

          • Craxi

            They mentioned that…

      • KD

        In the Soo a Biggby opened about 5 months ago, so they are moving past the bridge!

  • Toad

    The person who wrote this is obviously NOT from Michigan. We all make fun of our sports teams, especially the Lions. Also, pop is mostly a south eastern Michigan thing. In northern an western Michigan they call it soda.

    The ONLY way to show where you are from is with the RIGHT hand.

    • Brock

      I’ve lived in Grand Rapids and St. Joe. We call it pop.

      Whether you use your right or left hand is mighty subjective it seems. I use my left.

    • BeardaGander

      I spent 24 years in Northern and Western Michigan and never heard anyone from Michigan use the word ‘soda’ when describing a fizzy beverage, always ‘pop.’
      I’m with you on the right hand thing. I think using your left hand can cause tendinitis.

    • Matt Berry

      I’ve lived my entire life in Western Michigan and unfortunately everybody here does in fact say pop

    • conkmaster

      born and raised in Northern Michigan, and I do not know one person who calls pop soda (or anything other than pop for that matter).

  • roman

    Know what else bothers me (us)… When people make comments about how unpleasant the cold is, like this article. If you’re truly from Michigan, you don’t mind the cold and the beauty that comes with it during that time of the year. You probably live on the Ohio border.

    • Angela Brown

      I was born and raised in Michigan (Detroit proper) and the cold and crappy economy drove my out of there like someone lit me on fire as soon as I graduated from college. Either you like the cold or you don’t.

  • ASpartan

    uh… you point to the palm of your right hand… and yes there is a “south Detroit” just as there is a south side to any major city.

    • PolarBear

      I’m born and raised here in Michigan and I always had a problem with people that would always say there is not South Detroit and laugh at that part of the song. Why? Because geographically speaking, there technically is a South to every place on a longitude latitude grid. Go to the southern part of Detroit. Viola…your in South Detroit.

      • Mr. Right

        This is not rocket science. Downtown is the south part of the city. South of that is the river. It’s as simple as that.

    • April Ciolek

      He was from Southwest Detroit….but “Born and raised in Southest Detroit” didn’t sound right.

      • Bryan Pollard

        Being from Trenton, we always assumed that he meant “Downriver” LOL

  • Shelby

    Laughing as I read this from a Biggby Coffee in Detroit<3

  • lauren

    Born and raised in Michigan, but I currently live in Toledo and I’m amazed by the number of people who don’t know how to pronounce Mackinac, Charlevoix, etc. correctly. Also, the number of people who say I “talk” funny and ask me to repeat myself drives me insane!

    • Ashley

      Oh Lauren, you are a godsend haha! Born and raised in Michigan, living in Cleveland. I am so damn tired of being asked if I am from Canada and hearing “say that again!” damn Ohioans and their pronunciations, I think THEY’RE the ones with the accent, amirite!? :)

  • lauren

    And I have met people from Wisconsin and they are truly convinced that their state is shaped like a mitten. It is quite sad.

  • Angela Brown

    The first one is COMPLETELY untrue. People from other parts of Michigan are all too happy to take a giant crap all over Detroit (read the comments on Mlive for pretty much any article about the city). The only people who get upset about Detroit hatred are people who are actually from there or live there currently and are trying to “bring the city back.” There are some exceptions, but nowhere near enough for the author to lead with that. I’ve also had Biggby coffee literally one time in my life and to call it coffee is a gross overstatement. If I’m in Grand Rapids I go to Mad Cap and anywhere else I go to Starbucks. Finally, “South Detroit” isn’t a place but “Southwest Detroit” is. #themoreyouknow

    • Kelly

      The fact you go to Mad Cap says so much about you and I’d say the first one IS true. Obviously, it depends on who you talk to, but most of the time when someone from out of state complains about Detroit Michiganders are quick to jump to Detroit’s defense. As someone stated in the comments, it’s like sticking up for a relative.

      • Angela Brown

        I totally get that. It’s the mother rule – you can talk about your own mother but no one else can. It’s far more acceptable for people from Michigan to say negative things about Detroit than for people who aren’t. I don’t know that my taste in coffee says about me other than my taste in coffee.

  • Pylin

    I sent this to a guy from Michigan and his response was, “Ironic that through the whole thing he referd to “Michiganders,” which
    is actually the incorrect term for people from MI and another way to
    piss us off.” lol

    • Brock

      Most of us prefer to be called Michiganders and NOT Michiganians, as someone else stated in the comments.

    • Matt Berry

      Your friend is wrong. That is the correct term. Only Jennifer Granholm says Michiganian, but she’s a Canadian and obviously doesn’t know any better. And it’s a she that wrote this article, not a he. Your friend is clearly unreliable when it comes to any sort of fact.

    • April Ciolek

      Um….everyone in Michigan refer to ourselves as Michiganders. I’m curious to know what your friends says….

  • David J

    You meant Beaners… It will always be beaners!

  • Sylvia Nieuwenhuis

    Driving ten to 20 under with two inches and up is a requirement for me with a mom with alzheimers, it freaks her out and gives her panic attacks. Drive with that once and you’ll toe the line unless you’re alone.

  • MSUALUM2002

    Last time I checked Michigan is only bordered by 4 of the 5 Great Lakes. “We have five Great Lakes to choose from with award-winning beaches, long-lasting sunsets, and cozy coastal towns”

  • MB

    Born and raised and lived my entire life in Michigan and I absolutely hate that people use the word pop to refer to what is actually a soda. Around high school I stopped saying pop because I finally realized how ludicrous it sounds. Pop is a verb (unless you’re referring to your father).

    • henchmen

      GTFO!

  • http://www.copscaughtonvideo.com/ Copscaughtonvideo.com

    How about our famous Michigan turn arounds?

    • ASDF

      You mean Michigan lefts right?..

  • Riddler35

    Actually true Michiganders go to local coffee shops and support local business. Biggby sucks.

    • no

      Biggby is a local business. It might be branching out to other states now but it’s a native Michigan coffee company.

      • April Ciolek

        It’s a chain. I tend to support local Mom and Pop places.

  • Ed

    I would like to add to the list:
    1. Thinking any other ginger ale besides Vernors is an acceptable drink.
    2. Thinking any cheap pop other then Faygo is an acceptable drink. If I wanted shitty pop from Sams Club I would move to Ohio…

    • Rene NayNay Martinez

      LOL! Right on!

    • Karina

      YES YES YES!! Personally I only drink Vernors when I have an upset stomach but either way no other ginger ale is acceptable! And I love Faygo, for being cheap it is great. But anytihng cheaper is complete crap.

    • Nemosyne

      Towne Club is another acceptable cheap pop, imo.

    • mistybookrat

      Don’t know what I’d do without Faygo. Rock & Rye for the win!

    • mjh49783ab

      A-freaking-men on all of it!

  • Kristopher Loviska

    Only four Great Lakes border Michigan. You must not be from Michigan.

  • Lynette White

    Ha, I was born and raised in MI and I call it Soda… JS. It is fun seeing people freak out.

  • CaseyMarie

    “Drink any coffee other than Biggby Coffee.

    Sorry Starbucks, but we pretty much try to pretend like you don’t exist. Biggby’s expansive menu and array of sweet coffee confections tops anything Starbucks could ever offer. If we’re not supporting a different local coffeeshop (shout out to Water Street and Fourth Coast in Kzoo!), then we’re likely to be found at Biggby.”

    First off, I’m from Northern Michigan and have never heard of Biggby Coffee. Second, there’s a Starbuck’s even on Mackinac Island. I hate Starbucks and find them being on the island ridiculous, but I think they trumped you in the Michigan household name. :-/

  • Donna E. Ploss

    I was a resident of Ecorse, MI for 3 years. Longest 3 years of my entire life!

  • Russ Hicks

    Just two things one, most of us would love to give Detroit to Ohio. We’d be so much better off. Two, whatever happened to Michiganian?? Michigander sounds like a goose.

    • Alex N

      Give Detroit to Ohio? Wtf is wrong with you?

  • Little_Monster

    Haha, I’ll disagree with the “Only cold in Winter”… it would have been more accurate to say, “You’ll never know what you’re going to get.” Snow in May and a heat wave in November? That should confuse non-Michiganders.

  • Liam

    I remember when that team up north was good… back in the 90’s. GO BUCKS

    • lansingkb

      Oh yah? There’s two teams up here. You all should know that by now. ;) B1G champs

  • Richard

    Sorry but we all know michigan football would be nothing without kids from ohio.

  • Macy

    Can tell you are from “downstate” no mention of the UP and some of us dont even think about Ohio being a neighbor cause its over 5 hrs away. We are closer to Canada. Plus which state doesnt most of these apply to. Most states love their sports teams. Other than the Pop and mitten thing most refers to lower mich. But I guess I am happy to live in the area you all love to vacation to!

  • Tony

    Just like almost all discussions about Michigan the UP is either left out or mentioned briefly, usually as place where you can “go back in time.”

    The UP can be seen as a time warp because we have not lost our roots, we support our local communities and do not buy into corporate America (at least not to extremes).

    I would like to see a mention not to the time warp aspect, but to the community aspect of the UP. It might seem old style and backward, but might be what the rest of the country needs.

    Also Yoopers hate it when you trolls, and the rest of the lowlanders for that matter, think we are Canadian. It’s a different accent.

  • Jonathan

    Give it a couple years, the emphasis will leave from Biggby to more better methods of coffee. *MadCap, for example, in Grand Rapids.
    Biggby is just horrible coffee sorry. I’m sad to have such a fake shop call itself home in my state..

  • MIborn

    My whole family is born and raised in MI, and I’m pretty sure all my redneck family drinks is budweiser or miller light, and hates snobby hipsters who only drink microbrews and think they’re better than everyone else….lets not judge to quickly

  • maxhavo2000

    Former Michigander. Never heard of Biggby’s. Any time I come back and go to a bar, the only thing on tap is the shitty Bud Light, Miller Light, and PBR. If these beers are so good, how come the bars don’t buy kegs from them and have them on tap? I’m in Seattle now and every bar has 6 local beers and then Bid Light for the college students.

    • April Ciolek

      Not sure where you were in Michigan, but I’ve been here 50 years and there are microbrewery’s everywhere. I’m with you on Biggby’s. I’ve seen one r 2, and that’s just been recent. We aren’t really “coffee snobs” here. Dunkin’ Donuts has sufficiently good coffee. Starbucks is awful.
      The seasons are beautiful here. Michigan summers on a lake….and Michigan Fall colors are amazing.

      • conkmaster

        dude is obviously a UPper. Anywhere in the LP usually has at least 5 microbrews on tap. Bigby’s is a southern MI thing also

    • willfixit

      You need to go to better bars?
      Hell, even dive bars usually have Bells…

  • ashley

    Everyone remembers Pine knob? Yeah, now it’s DTE Energy Music Theatre. >=(

    • Bryan Pollard

      Pine Knob…saw The B-52’s for the first time there…

  • Will D.

    It’s silly to say that there’s no south Detroit. Detroit is a huge city area-wise. MIT is perfectly acceptable to break it down into cardinal directions. Not to mention, you must not spend much time in Detroit is you haven’t heard it referred to by its directions, i.e. southwest, east side, etc.

    • willfixit

      South Detroit…is Windsor.

    • z–man

      “South Detroit” is in the middle of the Detroit River.

    • Mr. Right

      It’s silly to speak of things you know nothing about. South Detroit is the goddamned river. There’s no such thing.

      • Will D.

        Excellent insight.

  • Your Gal Friday

    I don’t know where you’re at, but no one around here goes to Beaners. It’s all Starbucks. And who get “pissed” when people start trashing Detroit? Detroit sucks. I say it, and I was born there. “Revitalization” is not “pile all the cops, stores, and money into a tiny radius.” Take a walk around Seven mile and Outer Drive and ask those people about the revitalization of Detroit.

    • Nicole Mayernik King

      I get “pissed” when people trash Detroit, but maybe it’s because I’m one of the people that is actively involved in revitalizing it. It’s easy to talk crap if you’re not part of making a difference. And with Detroit having such an enormous radius, it would be impossible to immediately impact every area of it. What major city do you know is ALL ‘perfect’? There’s pretty much a good and bad part of every major city out there.

      And Starbucks DOES suck! It’s like walking around in leg warmers… Yesterday’s news!

  • James

    I find it ironic that a post about things that piss of people from Michigan repeatedly used the term “Michigander.” I heard glass shatter every time I read it. Also, the U.P. is still a place, right?

  • Bryan Pollard

    Love the article…just one thing. My Michigan map is on my RIGHT hand.

  • Dave

    I still call it beaners

  • A

    Well there has to be a center of Detroit, therefore anything south of that is “South Detroit” just saying…and I’m from Michigan.

  • Michael Watters

    With so much at home, why would we need to go anywhere else? Jobs.

  • angie

    People I talk to who are from outside of the state they laugh at me when I show them where something is on the hand map. They are just jealous that they can’t do that, however, some other states try and do the same thing it just doesn’t work for them. Also speaking of weather the other day in Big Rapids it was 40 early on in the day, then about 2/3 p.m. it started snowing out of nowhere, Michigan weather. Plus downtown flint is nice with all the business there, only because UofM flint is there so it is like a college town.

  • LionsGuy

    A long time ago the first one that had to change it’s name was Denny’s. They used to be called Sambo’s. Then it was Beaner’s to Biggby’s. Now they are even trying to get the Washington Redskins to change their name. It’s all supposedly because these names are racially derogatory. In that case I want Cracker Barrel to change their name.

  • Becki

    Correction: you point to the inside of your right hand duhhh
    Also on my side of the state (west) starbucks is wayyyy bigger

  • Kris

    Wouldn’t it be four great lakes, as Michigan has no coastline off Lake Ontario?

  • keegan

    Really dont understand how any of this is offensive and im from Michigan…

  • pegasusgiraffe

    Well, if you’re from Michigan State, you can talk all the smack about U-Mich sports. And, vice versa.

  • Windsorite

    Of course South Detroit is a real Place- it’s called Windsor!

  • Miranda Brenke

    I noticed the hand thing. It’s a good thought to which hand you use. I, However don’t drink Biggby coffee we have a awesome coffee shop here in town! Ever in Hillsdale, get a Checker Records coffee!

  • Paul

    How about the great fishing Michigan has? The great small homey towns we have? Some of the MOST beautiful towns/cities all over. IE Charlevoix or any other town up north or around Novi. And speaking of… most people call “up north” the shotgun/rifle line. Like some of us from Livingston County call “up north” anything above West Branch.

    We as Michiganders don’t travel by miles, we travel by time.

    • Yooper

      “Up North” shouldn’t start til you’re over the bridge. All the cities you mention are Central Michigan.

  • Nemosyne

    The Coffee Beanery Is also a Michigan thing, based in Flushing, right outside of Flint!

  • Lizzy

    VIVA LA BEANERS!!!!!!!!!!!

  • steph

    Add in there, the game and pronunciation of the word “euchre”.

  • Draco malfoy

    I’m offended by anyone who points to where they’re from on their LEFT hand, as quoted in this article. Anyone from loyal Michigander I’ve ever met points to where there from on their right. Just sayin. Otherwise I love this article!

  • Zach

    This is all great minus the Biggby’s part. That’s coffee for people who don’t like the taste of coffee.

    The beer in this state though, top drawer. Hopslam is out!!

  • Sabrebabe

    Sorry, Trolls, you all seem to have forgotten how to REALLY drive/survive a REAL Michigan winter. I heard horror stories this past Christmas when my son and his family drove from the Keweenaw to the Ann Arbor area. Something about tow trucks and cars in the ditch everywhere, and apparently, “the road was clear! No snow on the road at all!”. Remember, we drive on hard pack until Spring. And closing a major highway for 3 days due to “bad weather”? Not happening.
    Then again, as the writer mentioned, We Yoopers are a different lot. Hardier, too, apparently.
    All in good fun, folks. I remember living downstate a few decades ago. And schools closed on the drop of a snowflake. Nowdays, it’s for sub-zero temperatures. Snowfall might get the kids a delayed start, though. :D
    Beer? Spot-on. Keweenaw Brewing Company! And Bell’s! Bell’s has moved up to the U.P.! We have wine and mead, too!
    Ohio? What is this Ohio you speak of? Oh, TOURISTS! Ah, yeah, we get those, too.
    Football? Lions fans and Packers fans. ‘Nuff said.
    Hockey is the *only* sport, you’d be remembering that. All year ’round, for that matter.
    Stunning beauty: Summer in da U.P. Makes up for the winters. Which, are also stunningly beautiful.

  • Pampurrs

    I was enjoying this article until I got to the part that said “If you’re born and bred in Michigan”. That is a commonly used misnomer. First of all, people are not bred. Cattle, pigs, horses, and roses are bred. Secondly, even if we were bred, we would have been bred before we were born, therefore the term would be, “Bred and Born”. It rankles me when I see such poor grammar from someone who claims to be a journalist.

    • Mike Swartz

      jesus, get over yourself, man.

  • Dan

    Born and raised in The Mitten, but we show people with our Right hands, if you live in the Lower Peninsula (otherwise it’s 2 hands!) because that’s how it makes sense if your looking at the person telling you. And, we really only have 4 of the five Great Lakes. Lake Ontario is pretty much New York’s. Love me some Beaner’s though!

  • Joanie

    This is the most Michigan (read: nerdy) post about state pride that I’ve ever seen. Come on, give me something better than the mitten or pop.

  • Emily

    The last half of this is stupid. Mid Michigan born and raised. I love Starbucks. Don’t mind Ohio (hello, cedar point anyone?). I exclusively call “pop” soda. I don’t care about any of our sports teams and I probably never will. Lastly, we have terrible fucking weather. Just terrible.

  • Scott

    I don’t mind Ohio. Yea it’s a boring state but come on, they beat on those Wolverines. Which I love. I’m from Michigan and live in Michigan and I can’t stand the Red Wings, Lions, or Tigers (maybe cause the Lions are the dumbest team in football and I can’t stand baseball) But everyone knows who rules the state, Spartans baby!

    • Craxi

      and you can’t stand Red Wings because….? You only left the Pistons for Pro sports which makes your whole post laughable, they suck.

  • amber

    We use our right hand to point to where we live, in the mitten, not the left. Who the hell wrote this? The yupers get the left hand for the upper peninsula.

    • Alex N

      Or you could use the back of your left hand… Also, it’s Yooper not yuper.

  • comments1980

    Your forgot… Drive at or below 75 in the left lane on the highway.

  • fresh_coast

    Just to make it clear, There are only 4 Great lakes that touch Michigan

    4 out of 5 Great Lakes prefer Michigan

  • Matt

    Are you actually from Michigan? How many lakes do we touch? Most of us point to the inside of our hand which would be our right hand, not left. There are so many other things to include like “the big 3″ meaning cars, or pizza, or everyone shops at Meijer and calls it Meijers. Also people from Minnesota drive way better than us on snow. This article is in need of vast improvement.

  • Floppy Waffle Detroit

    South Detroit is a place. It is called Del Rey, Corktown, and Springwells neighborhoods respectively. You should do more research on the City. I stopped after your first point, because the internet really needs another “How to ______ someone from ______ ” blog.

    • Steffy93

      No.

  • Tiffany

    I’ve been living in Michigan since I was born and found this article offensive. You make us sound extremely stuck up. You also should do some research like everyone else is saying. I drink craft beers, but also extremely enjoy my labatt, or PBR just as much as anyone else. Didn’t realize it was sin or that we were beer snobs. The journey song is proudly sang at any sports game, I thought we used out right hand to show people where we live? AND hey, yeah when the roads are screwed I drive just as careful as anyone else AND we do drive way under the speed light. I dont know what part of michigan you are from. But it doesn’t even sound like you’re from michigan. You represent us sounding very up tight and snobby.

    • Kelly

      lol shut up. you’re an idiot if you find this article offensive and obviously don’t understand humor.

      • Tiffany

        I MUST be the idiot because I’m the only one who disagrees with the article.

  • Zenny

    It’s not the left hand, it’s the right. And… Michigan is VERY far from the coldest region of the U.S. and people are crazy when they talk about our “brutal” winters. (I also wonder why urban traffic goes to pot EVERY time there is the slightest change in the weather, and how in the heck does ANYONE in Michigan, home of the Motor City, not familiar with the “stay to the right, use the left lane for passing rule?!?!) … ‘jus sayin’.
    ~Proud Michigander

    • Melissa Dawson Chapman

      It can be either hand. It just depends on which way your hand is flipped.

  • Not Given

    I’ve been drinking Duncan YEARS before Bigbbys/Beaners existed in this state.

    Ginger Ale = Vernors
    Pop = Faygo or Town Club

  • thebigp

    There are multiple things wrong with this post: (1) Michigan drivers are some of the (if not the) worst drivers in the country — they may call themselves “snow experts”, but they either drive recklessly or painfully slow during snowstorms, and there are always accidents left and right. And don’t get me started about basic rules like “slow traffic keep right”, which they clearly can’t figure out. (2) Anyone who has been to a Michigan football game knows that Michiganders are most proud of the line “born and raised in South Detroit” from the Journey song, and they LOVE the journey song (which I, as a self-respecting Californian, find to be one of the top 5 songs ever). (3) Michiganders claim Detroit this and Detroit that but most people live comfortably in the suburbs and go in for the occasional Tigers game or trip to Slow’s BBQ. So … cool it on the mega Detroit pride.

    • lansingkb

      WTF are you rambling about? If we wanted a opinion from a californian we would have gave it to you.

      And your first mistake was going to a UM football game. Go green.

  • fake ass handsome magee

    BEANERS…they eat BEANS

  • Lisa Dago

    I’ve lived in Michigan (oakland county) my whole life, except 2 years when I lived in California. I never heard of beaners till I moved to California when I was 18. Still to this day (I’m 38 now) I’ve never heard of biggbys … I’ve never showed anyone ever in my life my left hand to show where I live…Faygo is awesome but with my uncle working there all his life (retired now) made me sick of faygo…. pine knob will always be pine knob…and to the yoopers I was always told I live in the mitten with the rabbit on top (the UP being the rabbit) and you can make the mitten and rabbit with 2 hands with hand shadows…lol

  • Mike

    “Forget your driving skills, especially in the winter.”

    Half of the people in the state forget them, or never had them in the first place…lol

  • Aiman Jarrar

    From Michigan, still live here and Biggby blows. I’m a starbucks gold member and have been since 2010. Coffee tastes like complete ass. Got a biggby giftcard once and gave it a shot. Took one sip and threw it in the trash. Also, they are WAYYY more expensive than Starbucks.

  • Michigan Girl

    Umm, we have FOUR Great lakes to choose from (if you just thought, “what an idiot, there are 5 lakes” stop, think. Everyone’s brains on?). And winter is NOT a down side. I LOVE winter. I feel very sad for anyone who has never made a snowman, snow angel, gone sledding, attempted to walk on top of the snow, seen the gorgeous way snow sparkles, a tree covered in ice and looks like magic, the beautiful flush on a kids cheeks after a day of winter fun, hot chocolate by the fire. If you’ve lost sight of all of this, I’m sad for you.

  • Jay VanVeen

    Anybody on here complaining about how it was bullshit that Beaner’s changed their name is a fucking idiot! There is a large Latino population in this country and that word is a recognized racial slur towards them. You’re as stupid and ignorant as the people who actually decided on using that name. Try breaking outside of your sheltered, ignorant, white-privileged worlds and take a look at how things actually are. Jesus Christ. Good for them for changing it at least. People who see no problem with that name are the same type of people who don’t see anything wrong with having a sports teamed named the “Redskins”. Please remove your heads from your asses and join the rest of us in the 21st century.

    • Steffy93

      Beaner’s was named after coffee beans.

  • crazyal

    Michigan people are some of the friendliest, down to earth and generally good people you will find, especially the further north you go. I may be biased because I am from here, but I know this to be true.
    Granted we were once #1 for obesity and unemployment but we are getting better. Currently ranked #2 for unemployment and #8 for obesity.
    Regardless it is truly a pleasant peninsula!
    And give it time, but Detroit will be cool again

  • Djglasser

    This article loses credibility when it mentions the use of the left hand to point out where you are from in Michigan. You use your right hand.

    • Melissa Dawson Chapman

      It really just depends on which way you flip either hand….. they can both work.

  • Heather

    Fourth Coast oh how I miss you and my daily iced mocha with whole milk and vanilla….NO place else is sooo good.

  • mikal

    Dear article writer,

    Are you sure you’re from Michigan?

    RE: “South Detroit isn’t a real place”

    South Detroit is not meant as a proper name, and nobody thinks it is. The word “south” refers to a relative location within the city. Check a weather vane.

    RE: “Claim any other state is the mitten state”

    Who has ever thought that any other state was shaped like a mitten? Do you even realize that the term “mitten state” refers to the shape of the state?

    RE: “Drink any coffee other than Biggby coffee”

    Seriously? It’s a small chain. Most people on the street have never even heard of it. What else? Eat any hamburger other than Bray’s?

    • Dev

      Actually, a few years ago Wisconsin tried to take claim that they were the Mitten state, thus creating a huge firestorm from Michiganders.

      Also, Biggby is a Michigan chain and it’s in nearly every town (except the extremely small towns) and pretty much everyone has at least heard of it.

      • mikal

        “Biggby is a Michigan chain and it’s in nearly every town (except the extremely small towns)”

        You can’t be serious. There are about 2,000 cities/towns/etc. in Michigan. In the entire United States (it’s not just a michigan chain, Lewis&Clark), there are about 200 locations. Remove the non-Michigan locations and you have considerably less than that. Is 100 or so locations “most of” 2000 cities/towns/etc.? Math? Bueller?

        “and pretty much everyone has at least heard of it.”

        I’d love to see your study on this and how you came to this conclusion. Perhaps you asked your friends who were sitting with you at a biggby location when you asked them.

  • Jamie

    This makes no sense. I’m from the Detroit suburbs. Detroit sucks.

  • mikal

    By the way… “Biggby”? A silly attempt at changing the name without changing the logo. ie: The logo is a big “B”. Biggby.

  • Matt

    Actually south Detroit is a real place, but most people just call it Mexican town, which means the Journey’s song is most likely about a boy of Mexican ancestory, hooking up with some non-discript country girl.

    • Steffy93

      That’s ridiculous.
      When the song was written, they used a bit of artistic license and called it “South Detroit”. It was written in a room at the old Pontchartrain Hotel, looking out onto Jefferson.

      • Melissa Dawson Chapman

        I didn’t know that! Thanks!

  • donnie

    Biggby is overpriced I never go there

  • Annie Adams

    I’ll give the Biggby’s coffee one. There are some nice locally owned coffee shops around.

  • sheba

    I have lived in Michigan all my life and we done even have a biggbys. So nope not true. It was local coffee shops and Duncan dounuts. We loveTom Hortons and star bucks now that their here

  • Bryan

    We only have four Great Lakes, gotta let New York have one too….

  • mjh49783ab

    For some of us, knocking the Lions is hardly a crime. Knock the Red Wings, though, and you’re in for a beat down, eh?

    And who in the heck has heard of Bigby’s? Where I’m from in the state, we would rather go to Tim Hortons, even though we’ll have to admit, that it tastes better across the border. ;^)

  • mjh49783ab

    You know you’re from Michigan when it’s nothing to you to drive down I-75, and you can get off on Big Beaver Road – Exit 69. ;^)

    Also, you can find both Hell, and Paradise, in the same state, and I have been to both.

    • Melissa Dawson Chapman

      Have you made it to Christmas yet?

      • mjh49783ab

        I’ve been to Christmas a few times as well.

  • alex

    how is this journalism?

  • coyote

    kind-of a dumb article

  • april

    hey now Im Ohioan and I lived in Mi for a couple of years lmao I support both states! ;p

  • http://JesusIsRisen.org/ DesireMercy

    Four. We only border four Great Lakes.

  • Long Lost Mitten

    I was all the way on board with the first three and the last one is pretty on, but I genuinely don’t care about any of the ones in the middle.

  • Buckeye Alumnus

    OH-IO!!! :)

    • Melissa Dawson Chapman

      GO BLUE!!!!! ;-P

  • http://www.thestoodio.com/ Kenny Mirage

    Actually we don’t have 5 Great Lakes to choose from unless you’re willing to leave the state. Lake Ontario, one the the Great Lakes, does not border Michigan at all.

  • Travis

    I was born and raised in Michigan. Absolutely love the state. Fun to read this article but if I may jest :)

    HOW TO PISS OFF SOMEONE FROM MICHIGAN
    – Talk shit about Detroit. – Detroit does suck.
    – Claim any other state is the Mitten State. – When has this ever happened?
    – Ignore the deliciousness of Michigan craft beer. – Ok, this one’s true.
    – Forget your driving skills, especially in the winter. – People are shit at driving in all 50 states…the lack of the ability to drive is not unique to Michigan.
    – Drink any coffee other than Biggby Coffee. – Really? Coffee brewed and tossed into dispensers to stagnate for hours? Ok, you don’t have to love Starbucks but I would be pretty far from being upset at someone for talking shit about Biggbys.
    – Be from or talk about anything to do with Ohio – When meeting, or talking to someone from Ohio, it doesn’t piss me off, it puts a huge smile on my face knowing I’m not associated with their crap state.
    – Throw away your pop or beer cans; also, call pop anything other than pop. – Doesn’t upset me…someone less fortunate will absolutely pick up any cans ignorantly discarded by non-Michiganders…and call “pop” whatever you want – “soda”, “pop” “coke” “carbonated beverage”…is this really a hot button issue?
    – Knock any of our sports teams. – This is a good way to piss of anyone from any university, state, providence or country…again, not in anyway unique to Michigan.
    – Underestimate the beauty of Michigan; think that Michigan’s only season is winter; comment on how cold it is here. – This one is very contextual for me. If you’re coming from let’s say maybe…Montana…you can underestimate the hell out of Michigan’s beauty, but if you’re from some wasteland like Indiana…maybe refrain from speaking. As to the second part of this statement: Michigan is cold as hell, anyone commenting thusly is not irritating…just correct.

  • Shawnna

    Do you know why Michigan is shaped like a hand?

    So we can bend down and smack Ohio!!!

  • Nathan Detroit

    should have changed the name “Beaners” to “Darkies”

  • jon

    No one talks about Detroit in a negative fashion as much as people in suburban and upstate Michigan do.

  • http://outyourbackdoor.com Jeff Potter

    …Complain about winter. Anyone who complains about winter isn’t a real Michigander. That’s all. But I’ll go on. And I can go on REALLY long. …A real Michigander loves doing everything that can be done in winter and/or with snow on the ground. Ski, xc ski, snowshoe, icefishing, hockey, any ice skating, snowmobiling, sledding, sleighing, tobogganing, making fires indoors, taking “sa-oo-nas,” jumping into holes in the ice or rolling in snow AFTER taking a “sa-oo-na,” rabbit hunting, muzzleloader hunting, deer hunting, goose hunting, chopping wood. Enjoy all the frozen waterways that are easier to wander around on when frozen than when juicy. I’m forgetting a thousand things great about winter. …Water WINTER Wonderland. It’s the only state motto worth anything. Snowbirds aren’t worth anything either. No gumption. Heck they hurt the Michigan winter economy. State home or move away. This winter-escape jive is baloney and no real Michigander would do it. Wear your wool with pride. Wear Sorels. Wear Stormy Kromer. Wear a lot of clothes — it’s a lot more chance for fashion. Stay active, dress up, breathe fresh air, and you’ll never be cold. Every Michigander knows that. Love your state!

  • Smartgirl24

    Michigan sucks. They STOLE land that unarguably SHOULD be Wisconsin’s and called it the upper peninsula of Michigan! Bullshit! It’s obvious to anyone who can read a map, that the only beautiful part of Michigan is actually Wisconsin… The whole state can sink into the lake, and no one would ever miss it..

  • Tsai

    Detroit sucks. Northern Michigan for life, stay home flat landers.

  • Connie Jennings

    I like diner coffee. Maybe I’m unusual, but never heard of Biggby’ s.

  • Shana

    Re: the Biggby’s/Beaners debacle… I’m not sure if it’s a state wide thing, but at least in Kalamazoo, we are really terrible about refusing to refer to businesses by new names when something’s changed. IE Bagel Beanery is still Klines if you’ve been here for around a decade at least; by the time I got around to calling the ex-Ravenwood the Strutt it had already been changed again (it’s Rupert’s now); and the poor underclassmen in the WMU/Kollege-section of the town have no idea what we’re talking about when older students or born-and-raised Kzoo’ers talk about “going to Munchie.” (Worse yet, there are still buildings around here that we refer to as “the shop where Rocketstar used to be,” “the guys that bulldozed Maggie’s,” etc.) The only exception I can think of is that when the Rave shut down and reopened as the Alamo Drafthouse, people accepted the change immediately. (‘Cause the Alamo’s the bomb dot com).

    That said, “Beaner” is pretty common slur in other parts of the country. I’ve seen it used countless times in movies and books. Biggby started here, but if they ever wanted to expand to the south and west, a name like Beaners just wouldn’t do. No one I know calls it Beaners anymore, and to refuse to alter a name because you don’t *hear* it being used as a slur regularly *even though it is one* is a little, so to speak, ass-backwards and the bad kind of stubborn. Probably the only people I’m hurting by never remembering what Munchie Mart’s new name is are its new management and the two years of freshmen who don’t know upon arrival that it had a different name two years ago. There’s a difference in refusing to alter a name because you’re still attached to the business that was there before, and refusing to alter it because you don’t like to think that a marginalized people have power over what slurs they do and don’t have to come in contact with on a daily basis (can you tell I went to K?).