Keep Poop Away! Photo by Charleston's TheDigitel

Thanks to DNA evidence, soon you’ll be able to figure out which neighbor’s dog keeps pooping all over your property.

One evening, back when I was in my preteens, I was bumming around and chatting with some friends on my front lawn. We later joined some cute boys at the local arcade, and they all wrinkled their noses in disgust. “Why do you smell like shit?” One gentleman had asked me. Turns out I had sat in a heaping pile of dog diarrhea. The stench has never quite left my nostrils.

Fortunately, if you fall victim to a similar situation, now you can get your revenge.

DNA taken from dog feces is being used to identify those who don’t clean up after their pet’s mess. While this obviously benefits certain people more than others (i.e. landlords and landladies who own apartment complexes), we could probably all deal with a little less crap in our lives.

Sorry, the pun possibilities here are endless.

How it works: dog owners submit a sample of their dog’s DNA by rubbing a cotton swab around the inside of its mouth, the swab gets sent to BioPet Vet Lab in Tennessee, and then the DNA gets matched with the culprit. Also, it’s called PooPrints.

According to founder Tom Boyd, the kits were made in response to health concerns related to dog feces.

Cool idea, but I can’t help but think if someone is fine with submitting their dog’s DNA to BioPet, they probably already have enough good sense to keep their dog from crapping everywhere in the first place. The main issue may be the cost to run the test (just under $100), or the potential plan proposed by landowners to make the tests mandatory for tenants before they move in.

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