How to Spot a Brazilian

3. We’re crazy aggressive drivers.

It can be thrilling and terrifying to ride in a Brazilian’s car. We have short attention spans and are never afraid to lay on the horn. We’re used to the chaotic traffic in Brazil so we’re zipping in between cars, cutting corners, and getting within inches of other vehicles.

4. We’re constantly taking pictures.

Frequently of banal things like limos and billboards. And if we’re in the picture, it’s always followed by “deixe eu ver” (let me see).

5. We’re problem solvers, in maybe not the most logical way.

One way or another, Brazilians will find um jeito. It might not be efficient, but it will be creative. It might involve a few injuries or a little sucking up in the process, but it will get done.

6. We’re nowhere to be seen for a week in February.

Carnival, baby! We have to watch the floats, compare sambas, and argue about how the results are fixed.

7. We’re speaking Portuguese, not Spanish.

And we’ll let you know it.

8. We’re very neat.

Brazilians frequently clean corners of the house that most people don’t clean yearly. Careful if you live with a Brazilian: dirty dishes are not tolerated.

9. We’re great hosts.

Whether you’re going to a party or just popping by to say hello, Brazilians will make you feel welcome and pampered with good food and lively conversation.

10. We’re pulling off the natural look.

No need for make up or perfect hair. Brazilians are those people who you get out of bed with an angelic glow. It must be something in the water.

11. We have a remedy for anything.

Any time you mention an off-hand medical complaint, Brazilians will dig through their purses or medicine cabinets until find the perfect solution.

12. If single, there’s a good chance we’re living with parents.

In Brazilian culture, kids usually stay at their parent’s house until get engaged or married. There’s no stigma, as in America. And don’t be surprised if the parents still cook and clean for them…

13. We’re willing to share our most private problems.

The simple question, “How are you?” can yield answers from relationship drama to family scandal. #nofilter

14. We put ketchup on pizza.

Yeah, it’s weird.

15. We still think brands like Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch are cool.

Enough said.

16. Every hour is happy hour.

Drinking at 10am? Brazilians don’t see a problem.

17. We’re arguing with you about soccer.

Never enter this argument with a Brazilian. We start appealing to the heart and things you’ll never understand. You’ll never be able to prove that football is as artistic as futebol.

18. We have confidence.

Brazilians fly off an air of self-assurance. We’re happy and beautiful, without being arrogant.

19. Our coffee will put hair on your chest.

There’s nothing a Brazilian hates more than weak coffee.

20. We’re late.

You can always count on the tardiness.