EVEN IF I WANTED TO get a full-time 9-5 job right now, there’s no way I’d get one because traveling has made me beyond unemployable. I am rarely in the country for two weeks. Aside from my inability to maintain a repetitive schedule, traveling has also made me pick up a few habits and insights about work and life that would likely make me the worst possible candidate for a 9-5 job.

I recently took a look at the typical job skill requirements for a 9-5 office job in a position I could technically qualify for. It donned on me that in reality I would probably never be hired or I would get fired, due to my lack of real office work experience and that is all thanks to traveling. Let’s take a look;

1. Must be a team player.

For starters, since most of my traveling is solo, I’m used to doing everything on my own which tends to disqualify me for the job skill “works well with others.” I like people, I like hanging out in groups, but I also like getting my shit done and not having to depend on other people to do it. Traveling has also made me intolerable of waiting for other people. I learned my lesson several times by missing out on trips because I waited too long for someone to come, thus I now have a hard time waiting for people in general.

2. Must have excellent communication skills.

I have amazing communication skills…if I have wifi. For me, that’s not always the case. I’ve gotten into the habit of not always checking my messages or responding right away when I’m traveling since I know I have to specifically wait until I find a signal in order to even do it. As habits don’t die quickly, I tend to do the same type of periodic checking back home even when I do have wifi and phone service, which means I’d probably never check, or respond to emails at a job.

3. Must have excellent time-management skills.

Not going to lie, I’m really good at making time for all of the things I need to do…in order to travel. That’s because it’s something that I actually want to be doing. Anything else is put on the back burner. More importantly, there is no way I’d be able to manage time to travel and time to have a 9-5, which would likely result in me taking off without telling anyone and being fired via an awkward email that I probably wouldn’t even read.

4. Must be able to take directions.

Traveling solo a lot has also made me become insanely independent. I don’t take directions well, unless it’s to a destination. The whole concept of having a boss would be an utter disaster, that is if I even made it past the directions for applying for the job in the first place. I like to do my own thing and not be told what to do. I have no idea how it would work with having someone else being in charge.

5. Must be available in-house.

Nope. Nope, nope, nopety, nope, nope. Working full-time in-house would not work well with my schedule of constant travels. Even if I stopped traveling to work full-time and in-house, I’d suck at it because I’d get so much anxiety having to sit in one place that I’d freak out and probably quit. Traveling has made me like a free bird full of ideas and opportunities, which would be miserable and die if it were to be constrained to a cage.

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