Air New Zealand is to begin offering the “Air New Zealand Matchmaking Flight,” according to the New Zealand Herald and a website created by the airline. The stated goal is to “help single Americans find New Zealand dates with a themed flight headed toward a dual hemisphere singles party.” The maiden (maybe inaugural is more appropriate here) voyage is set to launch in October.

Is the global financial crisis affecting the Kiwis so profoundly that they have to rob the US of its richest eligible singles? Who else would be spending the nearly $800 for the ticket?

The tagline, apparently targeting the helplessly brainwashed, straight and desperate American masses with a grand to burn (consider the cocktails) is “How far will you go to find the one?”

Perhaps a more accurate question would be, “How pissed will you be when you spend $800 and travel half a world on an endless international flight to find that you can’t get laid here either and you’re not getting home anytime soon?”

Photos and Feature Photo: the jyan

Indeed, for those who find themselves having a terrible time, it’s far worse than a blind date in the ol’ hometown. Here there will be no escape from the glaring failure as Sandra skips off with a more sex-worthy catch and you wait for another overnight flight back to L.A. during which there will be only cocktail service and a courtesy blanket to comfort you.

The whole thing smacks of a reality show.

About the only guaranteed positive is that this may be the only international fight you’ll ever have been on without a relentlessly sobbing child.

Couples + RomanticSex
 

About The Author

Kate Sedgwick

Kate Sedgwick edits Matador Nights from Buenos Aires where she organizes her live storytelling project, Second Story, and stays busy giving art tours and doing yoga. Read more about her than you might want to know at her blog YesThereIsSuchAThingAsAStupidQuestion.com.

  • http://www.matadorabroad.com Tim Patterson

    Not sure I agree with you here, Kate. $800 isn’t too much to spend on a flight to NZ, and Kiwis are hot. I can only imagine the Twittering that’s gonna go on at the events…

    anything for love…

  • http://matadortravel.com/travel-community/k-crimini Kate Sedgwick

    Yeah. They’ll be twittering each others’ asses off.

    • http://www.matadorabroad.com Tim Patterson

      Gentle twitters to start off with though, right? Wait, what are we talking about?

      • http://matadortravel.com/travel-community/k-crimini Kate Sedgwick

        Hardcore twittering often begins gently.

        Tee hee. You crack me up.

  • http://ExileLifestyle.com Colin Wright

    Ha! I can’t believe I’ve never heard ‘Twittering’ used as a dirty verb until this moment…

  • http://www.keepingpaceinjapan.com Turner

    Little of bit of anger in that article. I have to agree with Tim, though – $800 is pretty average for a flight to kiwi land, and besides, I love that accent on Kiwi girls.

  • http://evaholland.com Eva

    Ladies be warned: New Zealand has a dire man shortage. They’re all in the UK on working holiday visas. Do not be fooled… :P

  • http://matadortrips.com Carlo Alcos

    Actually, lots of Aussies and Kiwis are headed home (well, the Kiwis might be headed to Oz) because of the UK economy. So they may be in luck!

    And I don’t think Kate’s saying $800 is too much for a flight to NZ. She’s saying 800 bones is a lot to throw down for the off-chance that you might get to hook up with someone…and then if that doesn’t work out, well…blind date gone bad times 100. Ouch.

    • http://matadortravel.com/travel-community/k-crimini Kate Sedgwick

      IAWTC, Carlo.

      • http://thelonglayover.blogspot.com Carlo

        I Am Wanting To Cry? In A Witch’s Toad Concoction? help me out here.

        • Keiser Sose

          FGIN

        • http://matadortravel.com/travel-community/k-crimini Kate Sedgwick

          Ha ha ha! Cry with laughter. I agree with that comment (or those comments, in this case).

  • http://www.matadorabroad.com Tim Patterson

    Wonder if the Air New Zealand CEO will be on the flight wearing nothing but body paint…he’s pretty ripped for an older dude.

    http://matadorpulse.com/would-air-new-zealands-ad-fly-in-your-country/

  • http://scottworldtour.com Scott

    $800 can get you a lot of speed dating. I wonder how they plan on seating people next to each other. Perhaps they removed all the seats from the middle of the plane so you can walk around and mingle.

  • Christine

    This sounds like my own private hell.

  • chris

    I didn’t think Kiwi birds were all that hot, most of them were bigger and stronger than me, think they played for the AB’s front row, so I wouldn’t spend the money..

    Great country though…

  • Tom Gates

    We’re The Anger Twins!

  • http://matadorabroad.com Tim Patterson

    Seriously, I wish I could be on this flight.

    Along with about 7 of those tiny bottles of airplane booze.

  • http://www.mikesryukyugallery.com Ryukyu Mike

    $800 buy alot of Orion beer and Karaoke and not get you just as laid !

  • http://supremetechs.com Randy

    There are plenty of lower-class Americans that can afford $800 for a flight to NZ, especially single males. I wouldn’t expect to get laid on the trip. It would be worth it just to see the country.

    • http://yesthereissuchathingasastupidquestion.wordpress.com/ Kate Sedgwick

      Are you sure you don’t mean middle class? I’m pretty sure “lower class” Americans are generally more concerned with paying their rents. Unless you mean “not classy” in which case you may be right.

  • http://www.thailandculture.org Thai Culture

    Hello fellow blogger! I’m new to blogs but I just wanted to say that I like your blog here on thailand jobs for expats. It kept me reading all the way to the end… And then I went and searched for some more posts after that. :) Keep up the good work, I’m always looking to learn more about Thai Culture, in particular.

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