The most cliche-filled travel review of all time
Nestled in the majestic Pocono Mountains, Lake Jaundice Resort is a marvel. This off-the-beaten-path destination is paradise if you’re looking to get away from it all.
The bustling lobby is bright and sprawling. It bustles with activity. An opulent staircase leads to the property’s quaint and charming bar, Milestones, where they serve world-class nibbles, like their to-die-for nachos or succulent crab cakes. For those who may be more frugal, a delectable dish of Chex Mix is offered to anyone who orders a locally sourced craft beer. Behind the bar, Marco serves up some serious drink specials; the peach-flavored margaritas are out of this world. In fact, they may be the best in the world. The breakfast buffet, also located here, is a pontoon of silver filled with breakfast links, knife-worthy scrambled eggs, and bacon soaking in its own delicious fat.
The rooms at Lake Jaundice Resort are spacious and intentionally spartan. The designers have managed to weave browns and yellows into a kaleidoscope of earthy colors. Luxurious twin beds accent the exquisite paneling. Lush robes are provided to all guests. The plaid curtains give each room a feeling of patrician elegance.
The petting zoo is divine. It features a dizzying array of animals, including Australia’s Death Adder snake, a platypus, and several male goats. This virtual cornucopia of our ecosystem is as family-friendly as it gets. It’s a must-see.
But don’t let the hotel steal all of the glory! Lake Jaundice itself is awe-inspiring, its azure waves lapping up against its tranquil shore. On a clear day, the sun-dappled water reflects images from the surrounding verdant mountains. It’s a sight to be seen. Everyone knows that fresh mountain air does the body good, and you’ll find none finer in America.
As if looking off into the crystal clear water wasn’t enough, the property also hosts the area’s hottest nightclub, Propag&nda. If you’re looking to dance the night away then look no further. This club is the best-kept secret in Pennsylvania and rivals anything in an urban jungle. It’s a magnet for area women, both young and sumptuous, as well as older and truly unique. It’s a terrific place to soak up the local culture.
In closing, this unique gem is sure to become a perennial favorite for those who choose to travel off the grid. Its breathtaking location will quench the wanderlust in even the most nomadic traveler.
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