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Matador reviews Lake Jaundice Resort, Pennsylvania’s best-kept secret.Visit MatadorU to learn more about Matador’s online travel journalism courses.

Nestled in the majestic Pocono Mountains, Lake Jaundice Resort is a marvel. This off-the-beaten-path destination is paradise if you’re looking to get away from it all.

The bustling lobby is bright and sprawling. It bustles with activity. An opulent staircase leads to the property’s quaint and charming bar, Milestones, where they serve world-class nibbles, like their to-die-for nachos or succulent crab cakes. For those who may be more frugal, a delectable dish of Chex Mix is offered to anyone who orders a locally sourced craft beer. Behind the bar, Marco serves up some serious drink specials; the peach-flavored margaritas are out of this world. In fact, they may be the best in the world. The breakfast buffet, also located here, is a pontoon of silver filled with breakfast links, knife-worthy scrambled eggs, and bacon soaking in its own delicious fat.

The rooms at Lake Jaundice Resort are spacious and intentionally spartan. The designers have managed to weave browns and yellows into a kaleidoscope of earthy colors. Luxurious twin beds accent the exquisite paneling. Lush robes are provided to all guests. The plaid curtains give each room a feeling of patrician elegance.

The petting zoo is divine. It features a dizzying array of animals, including Australia’s Death Adder snake, a platypus, and several male goats. This virtual cornucopia of our ecosystem is as family-friendly as it gets. It’s a must-see.

But don’t let the hotel steal all of the glory! Lake Jaundice itself is awe-inspiring, its azure waves lapping up against its tranquil shore. On a clear day, the sun-dappled water reflects images from the surrounding verdant mountains. It’s a sight to be seen. Everyone knows that fresh mountain air does the body good, and you’ll find none finer in America.

As if looking off into the crystal clear water wasn’t enough, the property also hosts the area’s hottest nightclub, Propag&nda. If you’re looking to dance the night away then look no further. This club is the best-kept secret in Pennsylvania and rivals anything in an urban jungle. It’s a magnet for area women, both young and sumptuous, as well as older and truly unique. It’s a terrific place to soak up the local culture.

In closing, this unique gem is sure to become a perennial favorite for those who choose to travel off the grid. Its breathtaking location will quench the wanderlust in even the most nomadic traveler.

*The travel writing course from MatadorU gives you access to freelance leads for paid travel writing, travel jobs, and press trips, as well as connections to travel editors at Matador and beyond.

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About The Author

Tom Gates

Tom is a wayward writer based in Los Angeles. He has served as Editor for both Matador Nights and Life. He loves to go far, far away whenever possible. He is also pretending to be a third person right now and is obviously writing his own bio. He knows that you knew that, despite the deft maneuvering of pronouns. Tom's new book 'Wayward: Fetching Tales from a Year On The Road' is available for download on Amazon and iTunes.

  • Carlo Alcos

    Whoever guesses the correct amount of cliches gets a prize! An awe-inspiring, breathtaking prize.

    • Kat Rivera

      I can’t keep track since some sentences are cliche-laden… And I cannot count that high this very second.

    • Eileen Smith

      but is it knife-worthy?

  • TravelnLass

    Gah – gag-reflex kicking in big time here!

    But what I want to know is:

    Is the “bustling lobby”, uh “bustling with activity”?

    That plus…

    What on earth are:

    “…knife-worthy scrambled eggs…”?

    Sounds a bit rubbery if you ask me. ;)

  • Lisa Andrews

    My count is 53. I think. I should probably recount but I can’t handle a reread. I might vomit… but then, at least I’d produce a veritable kaleidoscope of colors.

    • Matthew Glaser

      Oh I get it. He did it on purpose. That’s silly.

  • Kate Sedgwick

    That’s well and good, but what about the breathtaking views, Tom? I find it hard to believe you were truly able to relish your vacation properly without taking in the stunning azure of the crystal blue lake from nearby Landefill Mountain. It’s truly a marvel, and what’s more, it teaches the children that the more trash they make, the more mountains we can make! A truly majestic message to go with a truly majestic view.

    I’m not disagreeing about the delectable breakfast buffet, nor am I contending that you didn’t truly enjoy every minute of your trip. What I do say, however, is that your trip may have been incomplete without the twenty minute side trip to Landefill.

    • Tom Gates

      Several times a year I think that we should get married.

    • Kate Sedgwick

      I’m into it!

  • Nick Rowlands

    This review boasts a veritable smorgasbord of cliches. Nice one. Not quite sure why, but “kaleidoscope of earthy colors” is my fave. New job as copywriter beckoning?

  • Alice Raven

    This is an exquisite review. I literally cannot wait to immerse myself in such a divine environment. I mean, I have looked high and low to find a resort with knife-worthy scrambled eggs, and have found only paltry offerings barely worthy of a spoon.

    I love a petting zoo that offers death adders AND goats. Male ones, no less. I was a little saddened to hear there were no older, sumptuous women. And does the lake, in fact, give you jaundice?

  • anon

    “The bustling lobby is bright and sprawling. It bustles with activity” <– doesn't Matador give writing courses? A bit redundant? and that's when I stopped reading… sorry!

    • Hal Amen

      that was kinda the point…

  • Emily McIntyre

    Loved it. Loved.

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