We Americans love our sports. Huge chunks of the country tune in for the Super Bowl, even though the vast majority of us couldn’t give a shit about either team, and even though the vast majority of us have no desire to see a halftime show with Bruno Mars. We even watch baseball and golf on TV, as if they were summertime yule logs — only way more boring.
So why, unlike virtually every other country on the planet, hasn’t the US picked up soccer? Here are some theories.