Photo: yeyito

LADIES, take it from me. They will steal your heart. They will own it. They will take your breath away. They will turn your round irises into heart shapes. They will make your knees tremble. And once you go Mex, you can never go Ex.

1. You will get addicted to those guacamole dips they make every day.

Onions, tomatoes, lemon, an avocado, and its seed — that’s the perfect recipe for a cabron’s daily nutritional need. It may look like they’re just randomly mixing stuff in a bowl, but in reality, they are brewing perfection. I tried to do this myself but it’s never the same.

And when you try to ask for the recipe, they don’t have it. It’s just a natural talent. Why they include the avocado’s seed is another mystery.

2. You will long for their warm hugs and then some.

That generous-no-bars-held kind of hug is hot. As hot as the strongest hot sauce there is. Think of it as a bear taking control of your body (but remember, biting is only allowed if you agree to it)!

You will want to hug them even if it’s 39 freaking degrees outside…which is not that uncommon since in most areas of Mexico it’s always either spring or summer.

3. Because they can cook very well.

Dinner tonight? Your place or mine?

Seriously, when they say this, they’re not trying to get into your pants (at least not the first time…even though it happens). They ask this because they prefer to cook than eat out (and not only because of the money).

They always want to know what’s in the food they eat. I mean come on, a good-looking man who can cook while a Mexican song is blaring on the radio? That’s a dream come true.

4. You will hate how they look at you with all that love in their eyes.

These creatures are the most genuine people on Earth. Sometimes I wonder, “Do Mexican men ever lie to women?” Their facial expressions are so real you won’t see any negativity. Just pure love.

However, be warned that Mexicans are naturally good at exaggerating the truth. But don’t blame them, it’s just part of their funny banter and sense of humor.

5. You’ll find it hard to laugh at other men’s jokes.

Mexican men are very funny without even trying. Jokes are randomly thrown and it will make you laugh your heart out. No dull moments. Ever.

It’s especially hilarious when they try to imitate a foreign accent. Hearing a Mexican trying to speak with an Indian accent is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. How come that thing hasn’t gone viral on YouTube yet?

6. Because they are brutally honest.

There are no shortcuts. No gray areas. Everything’s straight to the point. It’s either swipe right or left on Tinder. There’s no “swipe center!” The answer will always be a yes or a no. It’s “I like you” or “I don’t like you.” And yes, asking a Mexican man if you look fat in that dress will always end in a Greek tragedy.

Got it?

7. You will always remember them whenever you see a bottle of hot sauce.

When I came to Argentina, I started eating Doritos with a powerful hot sauce all over it and my friends were like, “Doritos with hot sauce? Who does that?!” I smiled and whispered to myself, “The Mexicans.

A bottle of hot sauce will always serve as Mexico’s icon.

8. You will never forget their Spanish phrases, even if you don’t speak Spanish.

Although many of them are fluent in English, they have the habit of randomly murmuring in Spanish while looking at you, watching you sleep. You might not understand it, but I’m sure you’ll get to memorize the exact words because it reflects sincerity.

Even when they say bad words it sounds good to you. Cabrón! Pinche Wey! Pendejo!

9. Because they take selfies with you.

Though they don’t always agree with the amount of selfies you have on Instagram, they will always say “Yes” when you want to take one. All you have to do is ask nicely. Selfies don’t make them feel emasculated and that’s a quality of a real man.

10. You will love them forever. I mean forever.

And you will never want anyone else. But let me tell you that it never ends badly with Mexicans — a relationship with them always ends on a good note regardless of what you’ve been through. You might even be forced to tell them, “Please, don’t be too nice. I’m trying to move forward.”

They will obey by letting you be and not talking to you. But they will stay just the same. You will always be that special girl in their life. Which gets me to thinking, if they dated 10 girls, that means they have 10 special girls? Possibly. Mexicans are so full of love, they are always willing to share it.

This post originally appeared on A Journey of Wonders and has been re-published here with permission.

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