18 reasons you should never visit Porto

1. It’s easy to see Porto is nothing special.

2. Its streets are too steep to even think about traveling there.

3. And why would you want to visit stores with traditional Portuguese products and designs?

4. Not to speak about those old art decó cafés, serving coffee since the 20s. They’re probably dusty.

5. You don’t understand why it’s been chosen the world’s best under-the-radar romantic destination.

6. Street art? You won’t be fooled, that’s just vandalism.

7. And you hate cities full of churches.

8. You’re not paying a hotel room to spend the night drinking in the coolest bars.

9. The last thing you want is to discover a city from a historic tram.

10. And you’re definitely not crossing the bridge to Vila Nova de Gaia. You’d end up too tired.

11. It’s not worthy to cross just to take a selfie with the river on the background.

12. Not even to visit their Porto wine cellars (and taste it afterwards).

13. And what about that obsession with tiles? Everything is covered in tiles, from churches…

14. …to train stations. Was it really necessary to depict the History of Portugal like that ?

15. You’ve seen enough cathedrals in your life.

16. And you’re definitely not traveling that far to visit a bookstore.

17. You don’t like old things, but this is a bit too modern. Why is the Casa da Música upside down?

18. And you don’t share the fascination photographers and painters have for all those clothes hung out to dry. You know you wouldn’t even look at them.