1. A local wears a hat, while a transplant wears a hat with a Colorado flag embroidered on it.
2. When you ask a local where they live, they’ll say ‘Denver.’ When you ask a transplant where they live, they’ll say ‘The Highlands.’
Then the local might say, ‘I remember when that area used to be called the North Side.’
3. While a transplant spends months actively texting with friends trying to figure out which ski pass everyone is planning to buy, a local will sit back and hope everyone lands on the Epic Pass so he won’t feel bad bailing and getting the Loveland Pass on his own.
I will reluctantly go along with the group as long it’s not the Epic Pass. But by mid-December, I always wish I had stuck with Loveland.
4. While a transplant is scarfing down a post-last call meal with a rowdy group of friends at Tom’s Urban, a local is sitting alone in the corner at Breakfast King, wondering when he lost his mojo.
This place used to be the spot to grub, man. I remember that time Big Head Todd played at Herman’s Hideaway! I was sure south Broadway would never see a rager like that again, and my cab ride home to Cinderella City only cost $7!
5. A local might still have reservations about spending a bunch of time hanging out in certain areas of Colfax.
You’re waiting for me where?
6. Transplants constantly complain about the way Coloradans drive. Locals still have no idea what they’re talking about.
However, I do recall a time when driving across town only took fifteen minutes, and getting a parking spot at the trailhead after 7 AM wasn’t the biggest concern of the weekend.
7. Transplants can tell you exactly how many fourteener’s they’ve ‘conquered.’ Most locals have no idea.
Probably none, to be honest. I’ve hiked one or two, but conquering those mountains? Did Subaru release a new vehicle that I haven’t seen yet?
8. The same goes for counting days on the ski hill.
After all these years, the days are starting to blend together.
9. Locals tend to feel there is a bit of a gray area regarding the walking and bicycling lanes at Wash Park. If a pedestrian inadvertently walks across the line into the bike lane, it’s not uncommon and certainly doesn’t warrant a shouting match.
If that’s how uptight everyone in LA is, I totally get why you left. Relax, slow down, people are friendly here!
10. Transplants will tell you they moved here for the outdoors. Locals will tell them to put the bong down and then ask ‘So what are you doing in Denver?’