1. You’ve fibbed about going to the Hacienda.
If you spent your formative years reading about ‘Madchester’ in Smash Hits, you may well have led non-Mancunians to believe that you raved at the Hacienda every night of the week ‘back in the day’ (although you were 10 at the time.) If you were genuinely old enough to have partied at the Hacienda but instead spent it sipping Diamond Whites in Yates’s Wine Lodge, chances are you will make out that it was ‘before your time’. If it really was way before your time, you’ll probably claim your parents were hardcore Hacienda ravers, even if they were the ones sipping spritzers in Yates’s.