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10 Things People From Denver Admit When They Are Drunk

Student Work
by Tim Wenger Dec 13, 2015

1. I hated Peyton Manning until the day he signed with the Broncos.

We all used to say ‘FPM’ instead of ‘PFM.’ Props to you for breaking the ice and admitting it.

2. The only Fourteener I’ve summited is Pikes Peak.

And you drove to the summit. But, you’ve hiked more mountains than most people can name and learned how to swim at the same time you learned how to roll a kayak. For whatever reason, the transplants seem to have a bigger drive to conquer our tallest peaks. It must make them feel more like a local.

3. I’m not buying a season pass this year.

I’ll see you in the backcountry. As long as you got your sled fixed, because I spent my repair money on a season pass.

4. I don’t like the crowd that legal marijuana is bringing to our state.

But you love $30 1/8s and being able to walk into the dispensary on the way home from work. At least some other states are catching on so that all of the attention won’t be on us anymore.

5. It was me that was driving 50 mph in the left lane on I-25.

Me too, damnit.

6. I almost moved to Texas to take a job.

For shame! Glad you came to your senses and stayed put.

7. When I went to Miami to visit a friend, I ordered a Bud Light at the bar.

It sucks to admit it, but it happens. Not having an extensive craft beer list to choose from can send a Colorado native into a sweaty panic and from there, bad decisions are made.

8. I kind of believe the DIA conspiracy theories.

I mean, it makes sense that there’s a city underneath there, right? And what the hell ever happened to that suitcase that never turned up?

9. I don’t actually understand SCI’s music.

But back in college, everyone was doing it — so you thought ‘Oh, what the hell. Maybe it will grow on me eventually.’ Problem was, the drugs wore off and it never did get any better.

10. I can’t stand my girlfriend’s dog.

Your three dogs are cuter, better behaved, and eat less people food.

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