1. Wetting the churro (Mojar el churro)

To have sex.

2. Rubbing the spring onion (Arrimar la cebolleta)

Dry humping or the grinding movement two people do when dancing to reggaeton.

3. I hope you get fucked by a fish (Que te folle un pez)

Screw you.

4. I shit in the milk of your whore mother (Me cachis en el leche de puta de madre)

An antiquated but delightfully colorful way of saying, fuck you.

5. I shit on your fucking mother (Me cago en tu puta madre)

A more informal retort that also means, fuck you.

6. I shit on your bitch of a mother on the church altar (Me cago en la puta [madre] que te pario)

Yikes.

7. He is as ugly as the Communion host (El es mas fea que la hostia)

He’s ugly as fuck.

8. Throwing your junk at someone (Tirar los trastos a alguien)

Relax, it just means flirting.

9. This beer is motherfucking! (Esta cerveza es de puta madre)

This beer is kickass!

10. Pickled cocks, or cocks in vinegar (Pollas en vinagre)

No one can really agree on what this means. It sort of means no value, like all or nothing. “I’m tired, so let’s go to the movies or ‘pollas en vinagre’.”

11. What a big-ass goat with horns! (Que cabrón)

He’s a bastard. Or more often, he’s a cheating bastard. But “cabrón” is used loosely as calling someone anything from your best bro to a dumbass.

12. Toad, seashell, clam, rabbit (Sopa, concha, almeja, conejo)

All slang for vagina.

13. A limp dick, someone without a dick (Gilipollas)

Basically an asshole or a dumbass. An emasculating expression.

14. I have to go to the prostitute doctor. (Tengo que ir al puto medico)

Expressing annoyance for going to the doctor. Like, I have to go to the fucking doctor, ugh.

15. Cunt, she’s hot! (¡Coño, que buena esta!)

The first word is literally a dirty slang for a vulva, but it used as an expression of surprise, satisfaction, joy or anger. Pretty much everywhere.

16. You come once, cunt/pussy? (¿Vienes de una vez, coño?)

Or just a slightly sassy way of saying “For heaven’s sake, are you coming or not?”