8. Hula Chair
Hands down my favourite invention: this chair simulates the hula-hoop motion while you’re sitting down, making it possible to work out your abs while you’re working from an office chair (or just being a lazy asshole instead of actually doing any real exercise).
After viewing the hysterical video, however, I’m not sure how the chair makes it possible to do anything other than erotically gyrate your hips for the viewing pleasure of your cute co-worker. Ride baby, ride.
There’s no way this article could pass without a mention of the famous Snuggie. I’m torn between bashing the Snuggie for being the most pointless invention of all time, or praising it for having the most unintentionally brilliant marketing campaign ever.
I mean, essentially it’s a ROBE, yet somehow the Snuggies sells out quicker than liquor in a snowstorm. People see the commercials and think, “THIS IS SO STUPID, I MUST HAVE IT!” and then buy Snuggies for the whole family. Hell, even I want one. There are designer Snuggies, and personalized Snuggies, and a Snuggie for every occasion.
10. TV Hat
I’m not sure whether this one is a joke or not, but the product is real. Wear this giant baseball cap with a theatre system attached and you too can alienate yourself from society while catching up on your favorite soaps. It won’t be long before we see people wandering around the streets wearing these, bumping into telephone poles and getting mugged by onlookers.
11. Butt Cover
Nobody wants to see the gross butthole of your dog or cat, so patch it up with a cute, flowery sticker. I’m not sure what happens when your pet needs to go potty, but I imagine you need several of these covers on hand.
12. Baby Mop
Pair this one with the Hula Chair for the ultimate lazy person’s dream: get your baby to mop your floors! The monumental feat of your child’s first step can be put off as long as possible so you can have shiny, clean floors all the time. It’s like child labour, but justifiable somehow.
13. Oral Sex Light
No words needed to explain this one (nor do I want to explain), but Gizmodo’s “Illuminate Your Dongle” headline is the best I’ve read in 2010. Applause is needed.
14. Back Scratcher Grid T-Shirt
Now when you have an annoying itch, you can just ask the hottie on the bus to scratch your A9, or B10, or wherever. On the other hand, if your back itches enough to require a t-shirt, maybe you should see a dermatologist instead.
15. Motorized Ice-Cream Cone
Somehow, the task of rotating the cone so you can lick the ice-cream has become too arduous for some people. Luckily, this battery-powered cone will do all the work for you. Except of course you can’t eat a cone made from plastic, although if you’re dumb enough to spend money on this….
16. The Oozinator
Yes, this is a giant super-soaker which shoots people with white, sticky, oozing liquid. The jokes here are endless. Please, just watch the YouTube video.
Have you tried any of these products? What did you think? What other inventions would you add to the list?