7 Reasons Never To Date a Boy From Texas

by Turner Wright Oct 21, 2016

1. He’ll win you over with his folksy charm.

At one end, southerners may have the stigma of being labeled as unsophisticated, uneducated rubes. But even these good ol’ boys are portrayed with a certain kind of sex appeal only someone from a red state can pull off: opening doors for the ladies, making you swoon with our charming accents. Our style makes you feel like we have nothing to hide. How else was the world so quickly endeared to Matthew McConaughey?

2. He’s definitely a connoisseur and will make you one too.

He spends his days stuffing his face with some of the finest Tex-Mex and BBQ his state can offer. He knows where to find a good steak and match it with the perfect red wine. At the end of all of this, he’s ruined you to all other foods, and still manages to make you believe he’s done you a favor with a corny smile on his face.

3. He always comes back home.

More than likely, he grew up in Midland and once took a vacation in Abilene, because why would anyone leave the great state of Texas? Even if you do catch a Texan abroad, he’s always going to be drawn back home. To Texas, and to you.

4. He has more patience than you.

He’s had to navigate I-35 during OU Weekend. He’s listened to hippies in Austin explain the perfect way to cultivate cannabis to get the perfect high as he slowly inches away, preferring your company. He’s had to strike the perfect balance of political banter when at home with his conservative relatives; he might as well be an ambassador.

5. Pride is certainly is a deadly sin of choice.

After all, you don’t mess with Texas. Despite his flaws and occasional complaints, he’s proud of where he comes from and isn’t afraid to show it.

6. You’ll probably hate some of his music.

Country isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. He had the benefit of learning about Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson early on, while still listening to up and coming bands playing live in Austin.

7. He knows nothing and everything at the same time.

He had the benefits of the UT System, but never traveled to New York City (thank a certain salsa commercial for that). He can walk down the street in 100+ degree weather without thinking anything of it but struggles to dress properly during the winter. He can tell you how long it takes to drive to Waco but doesn’t have a clue how it measures in miles. Most importantly, he will always be able to tell the difference between the Texas flag and the flag of Chile.

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