What comes to mind when you think of California girls? High maintenance, perfect tan having, kale eating, yoga freaks? You are probably right. Here are 9 reasons you should never date a California girl.
1. You will never get the taste of kale out of your mouth.
Get used to kale smoothies, 6am yoga sessions, and organic everything. Lazy days of Netflix and chill are long gone. Say hello to a 13-mile hike followed by an afternoon bike to the local farmer’s market. No more buffalo wings and nachos on game day, get used to the idea of chips, hummus, and guacamole.
2. Earthquakes won’t rattle her.
If the thought of a quake, sends you running, a Cali girls probably aren’t for you. 3.0? Meh. 4.0? No biggie. Wake us when it is over 6.0. Most native Californians have lived through a few big ones, and she will think you are silly if you freak out over a little tremor.
3. Your hometown burger joint is weak sauce.
“In-N-Out Forever” might be tattooed on here somewhere. We live and die for animal style fries and won’t be swayed. From car club meet-ups to hangover cures, In-N-Out is the only burger joint worth breaking the organic-only rules for.
4. She thinks rain is a life altering event.
Once is starts drizzling, prepare for the complaints. This is California, 75 degrees year round, we ain’t got time for that! Yes, we know we need it, and it keeps the earth pretty and green, but the constant “OMG DUDE its raining!!”, Facebook posts won’t end until the rain does.
5. Workout clothes are acceptable daily attire.
Going to work? leggings and a tunic. Headed to yoga? Leggings and a racer-back tank. Going to the grocery store? Leggings and a hoodie. She probably isn’t headed to the gym, and she didn’t just leave the gym. It is comfy, versatile, and it is practically a California girls’ uniform. If you are preppy and like to get dressed up, it will be an uphill battle. She’s been around surfers and beach bums her whole life who live in board shorts and walk around shirtless, leggings are “dressed up”.
6. She thinks everything is about her.
Well, most songs are written about California girls, so she has her reasons. I mean, who doesn’t want to be a California girl? From the Beach Boys to Katy Perry, being from California makes you feel extra special, so expect her to feel that way.
7. You don’t impress her.
She probably went to high school with a celebrity, or at least takes a yoga class with one. Your non-speaking role in that hemorrhoid ad isn’t going to impress her. She’s shopped shoulder to shoulder with one of the Kardashians at farmer’s market, and done downward dog with Kate Hudson.
8. Grande, skinny, no foam, Chai Latte, at 140, no whip.
She knows what she wants and you know she logged it in MyFitnessPal. She’s got 800 calories left for the day to hit her goal so the barista better get it right. If you want to surprise her with her favorite drink? Better start studying because California girls are known for their complicated orders. Just another part of the lifestyle.
9. Moving isn’t an option.
Once a Cali girl, always a Cali girl. No other state has perfect year round weather, a two-hour drive that separates a beach day from a ski day, and it’s not likely she is giving up her surfing anytime soon.
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