You won’t be going to any more weddings where Springsteen’s cover of “Jersey Girl” isn’t played.
I mean, no one ever complains about Springsteen playing at a wedding. But it’s gonna play at every wedding.
You’re going to have to be super charming.
New Jerseyans appreciate charm and good conversation more than most — and since she’s going to have a freakin’ huge family and a trillion lifelong friends, you’re going to need to be on all the time. You need to be able to talk about literally every subject, you need to be able to take a joke and make a joke, you’re going to need to be able hold their attention, and you’re going to need to leave an impression that makes them say, “He’s okay,” when you walk away and not, “What an asshole.” Jersey does not tolerate bores.