I WAS IN Charleston, South Carolina over Memorial Day weekend, hoping to see the elusive form of Charlestonian-by-association Bill Murray, at some point during my stay. The closest I got was an airbrushed mural on the wall of The Sparrow, in Park Circle, but one seriously lucky group of dudes got an epic speech about life, love, and travel, during their bachelor party shenanigans.

Everyone knows how much of a weirdo Mr. Murray is, and his words and actions can be somewhat unpredictable, but what he says during this over-glorified sausagefest is actually quite beautiful. I’m pretty sure this occurrence beats hiring midget strippers any day.