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21 Signs You Learned to Drink in Toronto

by Becky Hutner Jan 30, 2015

1. You’ve chugged a 40 of Black Ice in a ravine. In -10 weather.

2. May 2-4 means drinking a 2-4 of Creemore at the cottage.

3. You’ve been drunk snowmobiling in Collingwood.

4. You got your fake ID from that shady place next to the Eaton Centre. Or the shady guy at school who changed the date on your G1.

5. You could always count on Sneaky Dee’s, Philthy McNasty’s, and The Unicorn for some no-holds-barred underage drinking.

6. You got shitfaced on the subway before Battle of the Bands.

7. You played Circle of Death. And got frostbite afterwards.

8. You’ve been drunk enough at Steam Whistle that they had to ask you to stop pulling the steam whistle.

9. You’ve sat in the 500 section at a Jays game, polishing off a mickey.

10. Your go-to purveyor was Dial-a-Bottle. Because the delivery dudes didn’t give a shit.

11. You transported your 2-4 of Alexander Keith’s down a park hill using a discarded box like a toboggan. When it smashed on the ice below, you had to stop your crazy friend from eating the beer-soaked snow for fear he’d swallow glass.

12. You know the special pain that is arriving at the LCBO one minute too late.

13. You got chased by cops at a park party, yelling “PIGS!” the whole time.

14. Where there was beer there was weed, and where there was weed, there was a bong from Friendly Stranger.

15. It’s not brunch without clam juice.

16. You’ve snuck into a friend’s parents’ house through the basement entrance, sneaking back out to grab a Molson from the six-pack chilling in the snow.

17. You attended a rave at Guvernment, The Docks, System Soundbar, or the Opera House.

18. Then spent all of Sunday at The Comfort Zone. And maybe some of Monday.

19. You’ve had a 7 and 7 on a patio in Yorkville.

20. You’ve snuck vodka into a Maple Leafs game, then poured it into hot chocolate.

21. You celebrated your 18th birthday in Montreal.

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