THE PROMISE OF sex with a foreigner crosses your mind as you make your reservations, browse hostels online and pack your bags.
Photo and feature photo: masochismtango
Will the women in the countries you visit be interested in you? I can’t help you with that part, but it does seem in the places I’ve been that the guys who are foreign (you) have the cachet of being from somewhere else. Depending on how you work it, you could be attracting girls left and right, but they won’t be going anywhere with you if you seem like a bummer of a lay.
Girls can tell a lot about whether they want to sleep with you in a few moments of closeness. Allow me to share a couple of tips with you so you can make those moments count and get a second chance.
Desperation is obvious.
Before you even go out, you have to get the stink of it off of you. Whatever it takes to you to calm the hell down, do it. There’s nothing that’s more of a turn off than a sexually desperate guy.
It’s all about the kiss.
Guys, I can’t stress this enough. Once you’re into kissing, take it slow. Follow her lead and tempo. Far too many guys never get a second chance because they treat kissing like a game of thumb war, determined to take down the opponent’s tongue. Don’t try to choke her out or restrict her wind pipe. It’s not hot.
You should look at it as a way of getting to know her, not a way of proving that your tongue can go into turbo drive. Be calm and self assured in your kissing and don’t get too fancy – at least not at first.
Groping – Don’t give her the bad touch.
Be aware that a man’s and woman’s ‘erogenous zones’ do not operate in the same way. If you haven’t figured it out yet, the skin of the vagina is like delicate tissue paper compared to what you’ve got. If you get that far, don’t treat the crotch of a girl as you do your own.
Rule of thumb (and fingers): Use 1/10th the pressure you would on your own genitals. If she wants it harder, she’ll make up for the torque you’re lacking – then you can adjust.
Tip – Try using the flat of your hand. In the dark and through layers of clothes, it’s just inadvisable to go digging a single finger. Use the butt of your hand to rub the general area. You’ll be able to tell when you’re doing it right.
The most important thing is to be aware of her.
Is she responding to what you’re doing? Change it up and see if she seems to like it any better. Pay more attention to her reaction than to your pal downstairs and you might make enough of an impression to get her to pay a little attention to him.
Women like to think that you’re interested in what they have to say – maybe you even are. If you’re not, you’ll have to fake it. This extends to getting it on as well. Ask her. If she is quiet and less than expressive, ask if she likes the way you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s such a rare thing to do, you’re bound to impress her. If she’s embarrassed to say, ask her to show you.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, guys, but there are some nuggets of information that can serve you well on your home turf as well as abroad. Use your foreign charm and knock ‘em dead.