The standards by which you and your culture judge physical attractiveness are insanely subjective, but you probably haven’t been thinking of them that way. That’s the message of Hank Green, of the excellent YouTube channel vlogbrothers. In this video, Hank’s ragging on the ridiculousness of other YouTube videos that tell girls how to be attractive to men — the problem being that everyone likes different things, especially when you cross cultural lines. And while there might be certain features or attributes in a girl or guy that the average person is attracted to within a culture, that certainly doesn’t mean every person is attracted to the average.

Recently, a number of news sources covered a new report suggesting that we’ve hit “peak beard” — that there are so many beards out there on the dating market that women are going to find them less interesting and less attractive than they would at a time when beards were a novelty. As a bearded man (with no intent to shave), I hope this isn’t true. But Professor Rob Brooks, the author of the beard study, made an excellent point during an interview with the BBC, and it’s a point that should be made every time we’re talking about something as broad as what “most” people find sexually attractive.

“Luckily,” he said, “in real life, we never mate with an average. We mate with an individual.” So don’t try and conform yourself to an average. Be an individual.