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10 Commandments of Dating a German Woman

by Tabitha Buchner May 15, 2018

The woman of your dreams is probably German. Chances are she’ll not wear a dirndl, but she sure can drink a truckload more beer than you. But, beware, dating culture here can be a bit different than you are perhaps used to — we even wrote a song about it. Here are 10 commandments you should follow when you date a fräulein.

1. Thou shalt keep your word.

If you said you’d call, we expect you to call. Sticking to your word and building trust means a great deal to us. The same goes for all elements of dating, so please don’t exaggerate or overpromise.

2. Thou shalt always be honest.

German women also hold honesty in very high regard. Being very straightforward is hugely important. If there is something you don’t like, we expect you to say it, even if it makes you uncomfortable. This is a cornerstone of culture in Germany and you won’t find any German (male or female) who doesn’t value the attributes of an honest person with admiration.

3. Thou shalt not despair.

We are known for being a bit difficult to figure out at first and this certainly is a stereotype that holds true for most Germans. When we first meet you, we might seem a bit more reserved than women from other cultures. Don’t mistake that for disinterest! Once you break the ice, you’ve earned our trust for the long run.

4. Thou shalt make a plan.

We can be spontaneous, but we usually like to know what we’re getting into. So don’t leave your plans to the last minute or let us down.

5. Thou shalt not be macho.

In most regards, German women are used to being treated equally to men. We’ll gladly split the restaurant bill and we like to pull our weight when it comes to household responsibilities and earning money. That doesn’t mean that we don’t enjoy acts of chivalry. If you want to pay for dinner every once in a while or open the door for us, go for it! The next round of drinks is on us.

6. Thou shalt be punctual.

Tardiness is considered impolite and shows that we’re not important to you (unless you have a good reason for being late). If you agreed to go for dinner at 7 PM you better show up at that time, or even better, 5 minutes early!

7. Thou shalt not just make small talk.

Even if we are only on our first date, we like to engage in real conversations. We don’t think too highly of superficial small talk and would rather get to know you and your ethics, values, and worldviews from the get-go.

8. Thou shalt not make distasteful jokes on the first date.

For real. We do have a good (dry) sense of humor, but our history is a rather dark subject and most of us do not find Nazi jokes particularly funny. So stay on the safe side and don’t try to brighten the mood with a Hitler parody.

9. Thou shalt not be afraid of fresh air.

Germans have a habit of airing out their place frequently, even if it’s freezing cold outside, and German women are no different! Don’t think she’s crazy when she opens the windows and turns down the heater every hour. We like some clean air in our room, no matter the weather.

10. Thou shalt appreciate differences.

Dating is deeply personal, no matter where you’re from and this list should be taken with a grain of salt. Thankfully, Germany is a very diverse place in many aspects, and differences and individuality are appreciated and embraced. You might date a woman who loves jumping into the unknown, someone who doesn’t open her windows when it’s snowing outside, or a woman who loves small talk. The best thing you can do when dating any woman is to listen, learn, and communicate.

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