1. Thou shalt accept his open relationship with a beaver called Buc-ee.
It sounds weirder than it is, but all Texans are seeing a Beaver called Buc-ee on the side. Known to seduce people with Beaver Nuggets and Kolaches from Temple down to Baytown, Buc-ee isn’t a threat, rather a serious way to spice up any relationship (or road trip).
2. Thou shalt worship with him at the house of Whataburger.
Second only to Jesus, Whataburger truly holds a special place in the hearts of all Texans. And if you have a problem with a Jalapeno and Cheese Whataburger and dipping your fries in spicy ketchup, you’re gonna have a problem with him too.