7 Side Effects of Living in Philadelphia

Just like taking a new medicine, being immersed in Philly 24 hours a day can cause side effects. Thankfully, for Philadelphians, the results will not have a negative impact on your health. In fact, they generally serve to make you an even better version of yourself. Here are seven side effects of living in Philadelphia.

1. You’ll start talking very, very fast.

It may not be used car-salesman fast, but we have lots to say in Philly, so we pack our speaking time to the max. We have no idea of what fast talkers we are until we step out of town and realize everybody else’s leisurely drawl is killing us.

2. You’ll adopt a permanent resting bitch face.

“I’m not angry, I’m from Philly.” It’s a popular T-shirt slogan and it’s an absolute truth. That scowl you wear doesn’t mean you’re unhappy. It means you’ve lived in Philly for a while.

3. Sports Mania will become an essential part of your life.

You have no problem calling WIP to suggest that Gabe Kapler get his team in shape because it’s been 10 years since a World Series win and it’s time for another ring.

4. You’re a beer connoisseur.

In a city that stops to officially celebrate beer for 10 days each summer (and unofficially the remaining 51 weeks of the year), there’s little choice but to appreciate beer. And it’s hard not to when you’re surrounded by some of the best there is: Yards, Philadelphia Brewing Company, Victory, and Dogfish Head.

5. Water is “wudder.”

Your pronunciation of the word “water” suddenly is a bit muddled. Soon, you realize you must pause to clearly enunciate the word. Your mind will become a battlefield of “water” versus “wudder.” Fortunately, you’re in Philly, so you’re okay no matter the victor.

6. And you start dropping in “jawn.”

“Jawn” is a word that you soon forget is slang and work into daily conversations. It’s only after the confusion that ensues after dropping the word into an exchange with out-of-towners that you remember that not everyone understands this jawn.

7. You forget all about parking laws.

Our narrow streets were not made with cars in mind, so finding a parking spot is a perennial stressor. It’s only natural that after a while, you convince yourself that any available space on the road can be transformed into a workable spot. Unfortunately, the PPA may not agree with you.