7 Way To Mess Up Your First Date With an Alabama Girl

3. Follow up our pronunciation with the ‘correct’ pronunciation.

Where we come from, “oil” rhymes with “pole,” “pin” and “pen” are the same, and we reckon that you’ll find some decent manners “over yunder”. If you choose to poke fun at our accent or expressions, well, don’t throw a hissy fit when we decide to end the night early.

4. Say that you’re a homebody.

We’re genetically disposed to crave the sunshine, so if you won’t find happiness tossing a nerf on a beach in the Gulf, or in an inner tube while floating down the Cahaba, well, that’s just not going to work, hon’.

5. Imply that Alabamians are stupid.

Bless your heart, what gave you that idea? Is it the accent or the lack of shoes? We’ll listen patiently to hear all of your tired clichés about our state, but then we’ll swiftly remind you that we are directly responsible for putting a man on the moon.

6. Mention Alabama’s need for a Pro Football team.

Nah, we don’t have time for that. Between the houndstooth jackets, and the blue and orange face paint, we barely have time to make it to a Blazers game. We’ve got our plates full with our college teams, really.

7. Admit that you’re a Tennessee fan.

Yeah…we just don’t see this working out.