Photo: Andriy Blokhin/Shutterstock

9 Reasons You Should Never Date a Girl From New Mexico

New Mexico
by Zoe Baillargeon Feb 12, 2018

New Mexican girls are tough as nails. We know what we’re worth and we don’t settle for less. We were born and raised in the heat and grit, so don’t mess with us. That being said, once you’ve earned our trust and have come into our lives as a special person, you can’t get us out of your head because we give our all. We’re supportive, compassionate, and funny as hell. We’ll go on wonderful drives through the mountains, shack up in a little casita, get fat together eating tamales and burritos, and watch beautiful sunsets. We love our desert life, and you will too.

1. Say goodbye to lazy weekends.

What can we say? We like to get out! One weekend, it’ll be hiking. The next, skiing. Then, white water rafting. We’re sporty, adventurous types and we love to take advantage of New Mexico’s great outdoors so there will be no lazing on the couch, we’ve got places to be! We roll out at 8 am!

2. Your music knowledge will grow exponentially.

We have very eclectic playlists. Country, mariachi, rock and roll, punk, pop, blues, folk, even opera from those times we drag you to SFO. Get ready for some very interesting road trip playlists.

3. She can really handle her booze.

We’re not pussyfoots when it comes to drinking. We earned our stripes with margaritas and 4 Lokos, so we can drink you under the table no problem.

4. You’ll never get anywhere on time.

It’s called the Land of Mañana for a reason. We move at our own pace, and you’ll have to as well. We had dinner reservations at 8? HA!

5. Prepare to get fat.

Whether we’re cooking for you, you’re over for a family dinner, or we’re out to eat, we’ve grown up on a steady diet of enchiladas, tamales, burritos, tortillas, and sopaipillas, which will find their way into your diet and broaden that waistband. Just let it happen.

6. You’ve got to step up your game.

We don’t need you, we’re strong, badass women in our own right, with a whole support system of friends and family all over town. You wrong us, they will ALL know about it and won’t forgive you. We’ve learned early on to never put up with jerks, so we won’t take sh*t from you. We’re not intimidated, we’re not desperate. We have bigger cars than you, we drive faster than you, we eat more than you, we drink more than you, we work harder than you, we kick way more ass than you. So rise to the challenge and be a good partner to us.

7. If you didn’t like spicy food before, you will now.

It’s kind of a prerequisite to being with us.

8. You’d better get along with her family.

When you come over for family events, it’s not just Mom, Dad, and siblings. We’re talking uncles, aunts, cousins, great cousins, relatives of dubious linkage. And they will all want to know all about YOU, so you’d better be able to get along with them because family is everything to us.

9. You’ll have to fight tooth and nail if you want her to move.

We love our land of entrapment for all it gives us — chiles, margaritas, beautiful countryside, New Mexican food, clear night skies — and if you want us to leave, maybe we’ll consider it but only if we can come back as often as possible. And we can get green chile delivered to our new home.

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