Matador Network

How to impress a Colombian woman on a first date

Photo: jmage

1. Don’t reference dumb clichés and bad jokes about Pablo Escobar and drugs.

If you’re a foreigner, don’t talk about clichés like Pablo Escobar, drugs, violence, or the series “Narcos”. Avoid looking like a pendejo by teasing about cocaine with sugar or flour, unless you want others to laugh because she left you in the middle of the date. There’s a lot more interesting things about our culture.

2. Don’t behave like a cerdo.

We Colombian girls like and demand attention (and good manners). Making noises with your mouth, burping, or slurping your beer isn’t sexy. Show some chivalry; let your date sit first, be respectful with the people around you, and of course, forget about your phone. Compliments go a long way as well. “Te ves muy linda”, “Me encantan tus chistes”, or whatever flows into the conversation will score extra points.

3. Don’t act like an iceberg, flirt!

We Colombians are warm people. If talking to you seems like talking to a new friend, you’ll probably become ‘just another one’ on the dating list. So, if you start feeling the spark, flirt! Give her a nice look, lightly touch her leg, or hug her if she’s cold. If you’re lucky, a little affection might turn into the start of a very memorable night.

4. Try your best moves on the dance floor.

Ok, as soon as salsa, vallenato, or reggaeton starts playing, we Colombians basically own any dance floor—or on the streets, at a chiva, or anywhere Latin music is playing. Even if the dancing is not your thing, you’ve got to give it a try. She will think you look so tierno for making the effort, and if you’ve actually got moves, you’ll win major points.

5. Keep your ears open.

Try to know as much as possible about her, prior to the date. Absorb all the basic stuff that you can, and use it to impress her. If she loves wine, take her to a wine fair or a wine tasting; if she likes chocolate, buy her one; if she loves nature, invite her to a breathtaking lookout; if she wants to adopt a dog, send her a couple of options and go with her to see them. Trust me; this is the best way to make sure you have a second date and probably a lot more.

6. Talk to her with your charming accent in Spanish.

She will love your charming accent and think you are the cutest for trying to speak her language. Even if you only know a few words, make good use of them. However, if the words ‘comer’ and ‘tirar’ are in your repertoire, be sure to use them very carefully, unless you want to screw it up.

7. Make her laugh with good jokes.

Take advantage of your sense of humor when you are with a Colombian. If joking is not in your veins, at least, laugh with her. We are cheerful and we like to make jokes even of our misfortunes. A smile and a good dose of black humor will make a good impression.

8. Be on time, but don’t expect her to do the same.

Punctuality is not a quality of Colombians, particularly women on a first date. Choosing sexy but not vulgar clothes, the right high-heels and purse that match them, and putting enough makeup to make them look pretty, but not to scare the prospect, may take longer than expected. But don’t make her wait. It will only make her feel that you don’t care.

9. Don’t turn the date into an interview.

Engage with her stories, pay attention, ask questions — and be forthcoming. A date is not a fixed interview and there’s nothing more unattractive than a monosyllabic man; after several tries with answers like “sí,” “no,” “nada,” and a lot of awkward silences, she will probably want to run away. It’s not only about you either. Bad listeners go to the black list as well. Demonstrate that you want to know more about her life.

10. Pay the bill.

Colombian girls prefer the old way. If she offers to pay part of the bill, don’t take it too seriously. She will expect you to refuse the offer. This is just a way to show your interest and to let her know that you enjoyed her company.

11. Say ‘gracias’ after the date…

A simple “Gracias por la compañía”, “La pasé muy bien”, or “Espero que se repita”, will open the doors for a second date, and if you’re lucky, her place for a glass of wine… or more.

12. And then, take her home.

As independent as women are today, we Colombian girls are used to the type of ‘gentleman’ who takes them home. Dropping her off or walking her home, doesn’t mean that she will have sex with you, but if you did a really good job, she might invite you for a glass of vino or a tinto (don’t get confused, they’re not the same thing for Colombians). Taking her home is just a way to let her know that you want her to go back safe.