You’ve landed yourself a date with a Wisconsinite — lucky you! People from Wisconsin are some of the kindest you’ll ever meet, thanks to our “Midwest nice” culture. However, there are some things we just can’t tolerate on a first (or even 50th) date. Here are nine things you should never say on a first date with a Wisconsinite.
1. “How ’bout dem Bears?”
Do you mean that they don’t have anything on the greatness of the Packers? Or were you trying to say something else, like that you like them? If that’s the case, I’ll just go ahead and ask for the check, because this date is over.
2. “I’m vegan.”
You didn’t tell me this before I took us to the best burger place in town and ordered fried cheese curds. If we can’t enjoy meat together (it’s all I have in my freezer, after all) or not even cheese, then things just aren’t going to work out between us.
3. “I only drink wine.”
If you don’t drink beer or brandy, how are we supposed to go on brewery tours and eventually have our wedding at my favorite one?
4. “What’s a cheese curd?”
My relationship with cheese curds is too advanced for me to slow down and explain it to you.
5. “I would never live in Wisconsin.”
Excuse me while I choke on my Spotted Cow. Like any true Wisconsinite, I require more than mere love to pull me away from the state I call home. If you can’t imagine yourself living in Wisconsin, this relationship is already over.
6. “Shouldn’t you have dressed up?”
My jeans and a plaid button-down is dressed up. It’s not my fault you’re dressed to the nines. I thought we were getting drunk on beer and full on cheese, not going to the opera.
7. “Are you going to finish that?”
You betcha I am. I always finish my plate like the good Wisconsinite I am. Now get your hands off my burger.
8. “Want to come in for a drink? I have Bud Light in the fridge.”
No thanks, I’d literally rather go home and read a book than drink a non-Wisconsin beer
with you. Next time, know your audience and stock up on the Miller Lite.
9. “Who’s Aaron Rodgers?”
What kind of question is that? Who’s Aaron Rodgers? Who are YOU? Not my significant other, that’s for sure.