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7 Reasons You Should Never Date a Bartender

by Melissa Allen Mar 6, 2019

Being the lives of the party and the keepers of the alcohol make bartenders inherently appealing. But bartenders can also be a challenging group to date. From unsociable hours to jealousy issues, here are seven reasons you should never date a bartender.

1. The hours

Unless you work a similar schedule, the bartender work schedule can be tough to accommodate. Your bartender boo will be stumbling into bed as you’re getting up for work. Their schedule often changes by week or season. And forget making weekend plans.

2. Half of your date nights will be visiting them at work.

One workaround for the aforementioned schedule situation is that you can visit them at their job. Free drinks are a perk, for sure, but being at your significant other’s workplace gets old fast. You don’t want to overstay your welcome with their co-workers and bosses. Plus, you never know if it will be so busy that it’s not even worth it for you to be there.

3. You may lose your favorite bar.

Another potential consequence of dating a bartender is that when you break up, you may feel uncomfortable going back to the bar where they work. Depending on how long you dated, you can usually resume bar visits once there has been an adequate grace period. But it will always be a little awkward, especially if you’re with a date.

4. You need to be very trusting or have clear boundaries.

Flirting is part of a bartender’s job. We usually don’t mean anything by it, but it takes a secure partner to feel comfortable with that scenario. And if you aren’t in an exclusive relationship, you need to expect that your bartender date may be picking up other dates while at work. Which means no impromptu visits to their job, unless you’re invited. This situation can work, but it will challenge your jealousy gene.

5. They’re not the same at work as they are at home.

Because we expend most of our social energy at work, bartenders often need quiet time on our days off. This can be hard when you’re dating a new person. They often expect you to be the fun-loving, energetic bartender personality that they first met, and it can be disappointing when your off-duty vibe is much different.

6. Alcohol will likely be a part of your relationship.

Most bartenders are either completely sober or total drinkers with not much in-between. This means that alcohol (or lack thereof) will always be a part of your relationship. Depending on your relationship with alcohol, this can range from a non-issue to dealbreaker. The most toxic relationship type is bar rat and bartender. This one never ends well.

7. You must love a loose leash.

Bartenders crave freedom. It’s the reason why we prefer spending our nights behind a bar, as opposed to our days chained to a desk. We crave free time, independence, and need some space in our relationships. If you’re a free spirit as well, this can be a perfect combination. But, for some, it’s too unstable.

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