All photos by the author.

1. Fall color is only for the East Coast.

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2. Sand dunes belong at the beach.

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3. Come on, the sky can’t be that blue, can it?

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4. Reflections are confusing to you. How will you know which way is up?

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5. You like your ruins a little less ancient…

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6. …and your art a little more modern.

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7. Wildflowers? Eh…aren’t they just glorified weeds?

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8. Colorful Colorado? The landscape is actually quite bland.

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9. It’s all just mountains and pine trees. There’s no variety.

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10. You prefer to stroll along a more horizontal surface.

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11. How exciting can a train ride really be?

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12. Things are better below the clouds, right?

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13. Snowmelt is a little too cold to bother with.

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14. Rainbows and waterfalls? Meh.

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15. The whole “hiking” thing? You just don’t see the point.

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16. Sunbeams and lens flares will do nothing for your Instagram feed.

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17. You firmly believe that alcohol tastes best indoors.

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