1. Jack’s Pizza and Wings
Ah, Jack’s. A smoky hole in the wall of gargantuan slices of greasy pizza slathered with mashed potatoes, gravy, collard greens, and fried chicken to sop up the $4 pitchers of Miller High Life. Or if soul food isn’t your forte, there’s a pizza topped with tater tots, hot dogs, and ketchup and one that’s even smothered in macaroni and cheese. Which, if that isn’t a big enough turn off, wait until you order a little baggie of candied sriracha bacon for dessert. No thanks. Dining amongst the company of an elementary school second-place softball tournament celebration at Pizza Hut sounds way more appetizing. They serve beer there, right?
2. Old Atlanta Prison Farm
Given, it is private property, but that shouldn’t be the only thing keeping you from exploring this abandoned, graffitied ruin. There’s huge murals including one of two pigs in cop uniforms bludgeoning the Liberty Bell, a rumored elephant graveyard, trash piles laid out in the cells to look like bodies, and early works of the famous Brooklyn-based street artist, Never, in addition to other spray-painted masterpieces. Plus, it’s free. But you’d probably be better off paying $16 to drink a bunch of carbonation at the World of Coca-Cola instead if you’re looking for something to do. You know, just to play it safe.
3. Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room & Ping Pong Emporium
There’s organ karaoke on Wednesdays, complimentary choir robes, ping pong tournaments, blasphemous decor, cold beer, tarot card readings, and an outrageous crowd of hipsters whose taste buds haven’t evolved past a thirst for PBR and ironic tees. Sure, it sounds like the recipe for an interesting and fun night, but doesn’t sitting in a stiff pew at real church the next morning sound just so much better?
4. Anywhere with a King of Pops
Blackberry ginger lemonade, chocolate sea salt, creamy avocado, pear vanilla, coconut banana orange, caramel apple, cereal milk. Yes, that’s right — cereal milk. In other words, avoid any spot that has a King of Pops cart like the plague. Because who really wants a fruit and milk based popsicle that tastes like apple pie a la mode? Or peach tea? Or white chocolate peppermint? Or banana puddin’? Gross.
5. The Clermont Lounge
There’s literally no reason why you should visit the musty and packed Clermont Lounge. It just happens to be a 50-year-old strip club held together by black duct tape and home to Blondie, the Queen of the Clermont — a stripper who’s been crushing beer cans with her boobs and writing sonnets for 35 years. It’s also frequented by Bill Murray, who you just may see at Disco Dance Night on a Saturday. Not to mention, Al Capone and GG Allin were also visitors at the Clermont Hotel during its heyday. So, yeah, no reason at all to visit. There will be probably be an outrageous cover charge anyway. What’s that? Not before 8? Oh.
But if you do decide to spend your evening here, take note of the strict no pictures policy. They kicked Mumford & Sons out over it, so don’t even think about it.
6. Murder Kroger
Okay. This one is pretty self explanatory.