Find your hell hole here.

LAST YEAR WE brought you real haunted houses. We even gave you tips on how to hunt ghosts. This year we’re going all kitsch. Check out these scary productions around the country that put the ‘hell’ back into Hell-oween (work with me here). You may want to have a pair of fresh jockeys handy.

1. Spooky Woods

Location: High Point, North Carolina

Besides your standard freakshow, Spooky Woods has a zip line that will fly over the Haunted Corn Field and through the laser light effects. They also have an interesting twist on the corn maze. From the website:

This year the design of the maze [is] farm animals, there is a game called FSI. Farm Scene Investigation is a game to figure out which farm animal was caught trying to commit a crime and with what farm tool. Can you save the farmer?

Other attractions that I’d rather not be part of:

  • The Last Ride — Buried Alive Simulator
  • Zombie Attack – Personal Experience
  • Fright Lights Flash Light Tour

Tickets: Thursday and Sunday $19 / Friday and Saturday $25

2. Reign of Terror

Location: Thousand Oaks, California

This video alone says it all (as does the name I find). Terrifying.

Tickets: Standard pass $13 / Front of line pass $20

3. Bennett’s Curse

Location: Jessup, Maryland (halfway between Baltimore and Washington DC)

Your ticket will get you access to the two main attractions, one after the other:

  • House of the Vampyres – The Alliance of the human armies have been defeated. The captured — those not lucky enough to have been killed — suffer great torture and fear at the hands of the Royal Order of Vampyric Knights within the castle walls.
  • Sanctuary of Insanity – Get tormented and terrorized in a dark maze. But it doesn’t end there. Once out you still have to face the psychological nightmare of the sanctuary.

Check out the Travel Channel’s feature on it here.

Tickets: General admission $20-$25 / Speed pass $30-$35

4. Gateway’s Haunted Playhouse of Horrors

Location: Bellport, New York

From a review on their website:

Holy &$#%! I went to the $10.00 preview they had for oct 1st and 2nd (I went on the 2nd) and was blown away. This place “buries” the other long island haunts. I’m definitely going back for their full opening, I cant wait to see what new things they have, although I don’t know how it can get much better.

Remember, most of these attractions are not suitable for young children, but here they do cater for young’ns in the Not So Scary Monster House For Kids.

Tickets: General admission $18 / Fast pass $23 / Not So Scary Monster House $5

5. Waco’s Haunted Houses

Location: Waco, Texas

This is a twofer. Two full-size walk-through haunted houses in one location:

  • Texas Chainsaw Nightmare – “Where it really happened.”
  • Dead Zone – “In fear of the end.”

They also have costume contests with a $1000 prize. Go dressed in your best!

Tickets: $13 each house or $20 for both. Save $2 if you bring two canned goods.

The horror continues on the next page…