Science Confirms That Being Yourself Is Sexy

“Nonconformity is more attractive than conformity for women and men,” the researchers wrote, “People think that men prefer conformist women, but this impression is discrepant from reality.” They found this by conducting surveys of men and women which gave the participants a profile of hypothetical partners. Participants tended to prefer partners who were described as non-conformists (“She often does her own thing rather than fit in with the group”) than conformists (“She is quite happy to go along with what others are doing”).

Separate research suggests that this result holds across cultures as well: respondents in the US, UK, Australia, and India were more likely to feel romantic satisfaction if they had nonconformist personality traits.

The research also found that women tend to think men are more attracted to conformity than they actually are, a fact which the researchers attributed to an earlier culture where women were expected to be subordinate to men. But it’s not the case.

So: to all awkward high schoolers, and to all single people: stop trying to be like everyone else and start trying to be yourself. That’s what’s really sexy. And it isn’t just your mom saying that: it’s science.

h/t: Big Think and Pacific Standard