The 23 Funniest Texan Expressions (and How to Use Them)

10.

Texas do usually go to church before noon on Sunday… or what they like to call “the time we can’t buy beer.”

11.

Texans don’t call half an inch of snow a “light flurry”… they say “snowpocalypse 2017”

12.

Texans don’t say “wiretapping”… they would call it “the eyes of Texas are upon you.”

13.

Texans don’t guess or think… they “reckon.”

14.

Texans don’t call it “the death penalty”… they say “killing you back.”

15.

Texans don’t say “shut up and do as you’re told”… they would go for “time to paint your ass white and run with the antelope.”

16.

Texans won’t say “I get what you’re saying”… they’d say “I smell what you’re stepping in.”

17.

Texans have many expressions for perseverance… “come hell or high water,” we’ll get it done.

18.

Texas won’t just call you ugly… they’ll call you “uglier than sin,” but maybe not to your face.

19.

Texans wouldn’t call someone unsophisticated… they would say he just “fell off the turnip truck.”

20.

Texans don’t say their friends are “nervous”… they do say they’re “sweating like a whore in church.”

21.

Texans won’t call some information “reliable” or “trustworthy”… rather, it will be something “you can hang your hat on.”

22.

Texans don’t say their dogs are skittish… just that they “wouldn’t bite a biscuit.”

23.

Southerners can keep their potatoes. Texans won’t just call you “dumb”… they’ll call you “dumber than a box of rocks.”