1. YOU EAT BBQ WITHOUT the sauce. The quality of our beef doesn’t need to be covered up.
  2. You say Don’t Mess with Texas as a threat. Seriously. Don’t do it. The last guy who did was responsible for Texas becoming a republic.
  3. You don’t balk at a four-hour drive. It used to take you that long to drive across 3-5 states in the northeast. In Texas, it’s a weekend commute.
  4. You complain about other non-Texans moving in…even if you’re one of them.
  5. You find it perfectly acceptable to have tacos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
  6. You throw on your winter coat once the temperature dips below 50.
  7. You stockpile your booze, or at least buy it on Saturday if you’re watching football on Sunday.
  8. You can’t forget the owner of the Texas Rangers was once President of the United States.
  9. You can correctly pronounce Nueces, Guadalupe, Manchaca, and Schlitterbahn.
  10. You’ve greeted someone with a friendly “howdy!” — without being ironic.
  11. You keep a pair of cowboy boots in your closet… just in case.
  12. You take your car up to 100 mph on any interstate, knowing exactly where the speed traps are.
  13. You always stop in West for kolaches.
  14. Someone within 100 feet of you probably speaks Spanish.
  15. You travel for eight hours to see family for the holidays… and never leave Texas.
  16. Even though LBJ is remarkably better now, you still like to complain about the traffic.
  17. You’ve forgotten what mountains look like.
  18. You instinctively clap after someone says “the stars at night, are big and bright…”
  19. You know all six flags over Texas, and why we have them.
  20. Southern hospitality feels like stepping into a warm bath rather than an embarrassment. Bless your heart.
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