1. With over 400 varieties of shells to collect while combing the beaches…
…you might be returning home with a serious cache of souvenirs. What if your suitcase isn’t big enough?
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
2. When your kids find themselves mere feet from the wild dolphins that frequent the waters of the Gulf and Estero Bay…
…they’ll be spoiled for life. Nope, no more zoos for your family!
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
3. They might actually take an interest in science after visiting the Edison & Ford Winter Estates…
…maybe even history, too. How practical is that?
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
4. With The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel seeing sunshine more than 265 days of the year…
…both kids and adults run the risk of overdosing on Vitamin D. It’s probably much healthier to stay inside and watch TV or play on the computer.
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
5. This place is super popular with families…
…and your kids won’t want to hang out with you because they’ll be too busy making new friends. Sigh.
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
6. Bike paths that wind for miles, tracing the shoreline? Their legs are going to get tired…
…and I mean the sleep-in-late kind of tired. What are you going to do with all that peace and quiet?!
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
7. The fish is local and fresh…
…and that’s just not what kids like. Nope, unacceptable. Chicken fingers deep-fried in hot oil, please.
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
8. A bunch of Major League Baseball teams come to the area for Spring Training…
…and come on, how important really is an autograph from their favorite player?
9. A beautiful aquamarine ocean will become their bathtub for the duration of your stay…
…gross. They’ll start to smell like the beach if you’re not careful.
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
10. The flora and fauna of Southwest Florida is comparable to many tropical foreign locales…
…so when your kids wander through the J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge, they’ll be twisting their heads back and forth to spot alligators, manatees, and flamingo lookalikes (roseate spoonbills). Is your neck limber enough to keep up?
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
11. Jet ski tours in and around the bays and islands sound kind of fun…
…but why would you ever want to pull them away from the chlorine-doused water and hordes of people at a man-made waterpark?
12. Eating the fish swimming the waters of Southwest Florida is great, but have your kids ever caught a sheepshead? Grouper? Snook? That sounds dangerous…
…and it can be exhausting catching fish every five minutes. Ten if it’s a slow day.
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel
13. The single most important reason NOT to take your kids to Southwest Florida?
They just won’t want to go home.
Photo: The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel