WHY DON’T ALL you damn hippies get a life?
Looking around, you don’t see many hippies these days. Sure, you see bellbottoms, tie-dyes and Birkenstocks – why not, they’re comfortable – but the people in them don’t consider themselves hippies.
They don’t live on communes. They’re skeptical about love being “free.” And though some will hug trees, you can’t make them do it for very long.
Weird.
To the literal-minded observer, this is sheer chaos. How do you make sweeping judgments if you can’t go by appearances?
What’s wrong with these people? Did they miss orientation? Are imitation hippies worse than hippie hippies? Who’s counterfeiting hippies?
Shockingly, hippies aren’t not the only ones doing it wrong. It’s common to see baseball caps without baseball players under them. Biker jackets, in Buicks. Cowboy boots nowhere near the Range.
Even me – not only have I never been to Hawaii, I’m pretty sure my shirt hasn’t, either. I’m sure it’s the hippies’ fault we’re all so confused.