Feature Photo by dreamglow. Photo above by letsputphotographsontheinternet.

Imagine becoming fair as Snow White with large anime character eyes, pink nipples, and super soft feet…complete with larger breasts just by eating “F cup cookies”?

WELL, THAT’S WHAT the Japanese manufacturers claim.

Regardless of your beauty goals, the beauty and hygiene aisle in Japanese pharmacies and department shops will never bore you.

Whitening creams

I’ve noticed that whitening products have a big market in Asia where lighter skin is considered a sign of beauty. The Japanese Olay brand carries white radiance, a moisturizer to lighten your skin by breaking down melanin with hydroquinone ( a chemical I saw in radiology class). There are also whitening pills to make you “fairer”.

Photo credit: Hannari-Ya

Nightingale bird poop (Uguisu No Fun)

It’s reputed that the poop of the pretty Nightingale bird has an enzyme which is considered to lighten and even out your complexion.

Traditional geishas and kabuki performers have used this stuff to remove heavy makeup and nourish their complexions.

If you’re brave enough to try it, the Chidoriya brand carries it in powder form which you reconstitute with water and use as a face mask.

Face slimming

A small and slender face size is prettier than one that is huge—or so many Japanese believe. The Akaishi brand makes a face slimming roller that massages the face, rendering it free of facial edema and the double chin. Kogao Sukiri makes face slimming stickers which claim to magically slim your chubby cheeks. There’s also a Kogao Sauna mask which makes your face lose weight by sweating it out.

Eye glue

This glue creates a double eye lid or an eye lid crease. A small plastic “fork” is included in the packet to push and pull the eye lid skin until you’ve got a crease height that you like. I shudder to think of people doing this in with their rear view mirrors, while driving late to work. For those who find glue to be cumbersome, there’s also eye lid tape that does the same thing.

Feature Photo by kalandrakas.

Big eye contacts

If you find the look of baby eyes irresistible or want gigantic anime character eyes, buy some Big Eye Contacts by Acuvue.

Popular in Korea and Japan, these are designed to enlarge your irises like the baby eyes you once had.

Pore cleansing stick

If you’re obsessed with pore cleanliness, this stick made by Dahoo is for you. There’s a pocket for your index finger as you rub the abrasive surface on every single visible blackhead. .

Collagen marshmallows

Perfect for combining a love of marshmallows with a collagen needle injection. Made by the Eiwa brand, a pack costs approximately 200 yen, and the marshmallows have a light grape fruit flavor and decent texture. Eiwa claims they have a similar effect of the injections without the pain.

F cup cookies

F cups seem a lofty ambition for most breast enhancement products, particularly one that comes in the form of tasty cookies. Pueraria Mirifica, a Thai herb is the magic estrogenic ingredient in these cookies which come in chocolate praline or soymilk flavors.

Directions say to eat 1-2 daily with a disclaimer that overdosing causes loose bowels. If you absolutely can’t wait to try them, they’re sold on Ebay, along with F-cup tea, to go along with the cookies.

Pink nipple cream

Its packaging is girly pink and sports a childish cartoon image of a breast with a pink round nipple. It claims to turn brown nipples peachy pink. The idea is enhanced by the addition of peach leaf extract to the product.

Foot peel pack

If you’ve never given your neglected backpacker’s feet a “facial”, the Foot Peel Pack is like a day spa for your feet. There’s a pair of pre-medicated plastic socks with a liquid to slough off all those dead skin cells that you’ve accumulated over the years.

In an hour, emerge with feet as soft as a baby’s.

Mimikaki, the ear picker

Nothing can be a better bonding experience than picking each other’s ears. Mimikaki is a skinny piece of bamboo stick with a spoon like end that scoops out the earwax.

It usually comes with a second stick with a feather pom pom end to dust away “crumbs”. Performing “mimikaki” service is quite common between husbands and wives.

These wooden devices are rather cute—the scooping stick has a small Daruma-like classical figurine, and the Hello Kitty brand makes one in pink. If you’re hooked, the more modern plastic model has spiral-like ridges on the device, for extra trapping potential.