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Photo by daveynin
Social media can either make you popular or ruin your reputation. Here’s how to guarantee you won’t get a date to the hypothetical prom.

Social media tools like Facebook and Twitter can be a great way to connect with awesome people while marketing your own writing, blog or business. If you do it right, you can form strong bonds with others and share your work with a wide audience.

However, if you do it wrong, you’ll alienate people and your reputation will suffer.

Are you guilty of social media douchebaggery? If you’ve done three or more of the following, the answer is “yes.”

Photo by micahb37

Discuss What You Had For Breakfast –
Writing about the mundane parts of your day is an annoyance. This rule applies to constant updates on your baby, the hot shower you just had, and the colour of your poop.

Update Under the Influence – Sappy song lyrics and quotes of wisdom often find their way into someone’s Twitter feed or Facebook status update when they’re under the influence. Close the laptop and just back away.

Ignore Anyone Who Attempts Conversation – I’ll never understand why some people follow me on Twitter and then do not reply when I try to connect. Thanks jerks, glad to know I’m just a way to boost your audience.

Think You’re Internet Famous “If you have to preface the word with ‘Internet’, you’re no celebrity.” There is nothing more obnoxious than a condescending douchebag who doesn’t want to give you the time of day because you’re a newbie and therefore not worthy of attention.

Brag About Your Fitness –
If you spend five hours a day at the gym and then come home to update your status about it, you’re probably a douchebag who walks around the gym flexing your muscles more than actually working out.

Self-Promo All the Time – You know you’re awesome, but keep it to yourself. Sharing your work with your followers is fine, just make sure you share links from other people also. It’s like having good table manners.

Be a Spammer – You’re not going to miss out on anything big if you shut down your social media programs for awhile. Let people miss you.

Share Your Heartbreak – Stop whining to the world, clean up your act, and get back out into the game. This refers to all other types of “over-sharing” as well, i.e. job woes, self-image issues, and your busy life.

Community Connection

Find out how to be a social media pro and Twitter ninja.



About The Author

Candice Walsh

Candice Walsh is a Professional Experience Collector and full-time writer, blogger, and inventor of job titles that don't make much sense. She's based out of St. John's, Newfoundland. Follow her website for more shenanigans.

  • Ahimsa

    Great article! Now only if I knew whether it was okay to retweet this or not…?

    • Leigh Shulman

      There’s a fine line between douchebaggery and social media expert. Just as long as you don’t RT it along with your morning bathroom routine.

  • Julie

    I won’t follow people whose Twitter stream is full of quotes. I want to read about you. If I want to read some inspirational quotes, I’ll go look for them.

    • Turner

      I use a few quotes on occasion…

      • Leigh Shulman

        I like the quotes. There are many that seem to be eternally recycled, and that gets a bit old. But generally, I enjoy seeing something inspirational here and there in my day by logging on.

        Of course, people who include ridiculous ones or quotes that end up reflecting their own personal state of angst… that’s another story.

  • Brian

    This might be covered under one of the others, but promoting your specific religion over and over is a fine way to “be a social media douchebag”. Sheesh! I can’t tell from some of the comments if they are trying to pump themselves up about how awesome their religion is, or if they are trying to minister to the rest of us. If it continues, that’s someone I’ll drop pretty quickly. I don’t mind a little religion, but trying to promote a specific faith to a large group of friends just isn’t cool and definitely leads to “douchebag” status.

    Great list! Self promotion is the hardest thing not to do, as Facebook, Twitter, etc. are all good tools to use, but you can lose friends pretty quickly if you aren’t careful.

    • Candice

      I’ve actually never come across somebody like that yet, but when I do, I shall place them in a special category called “Self-Righteous Douchesacks.”

  • Amiee

    Holy crack up! “Brag about your fitness” That one irritates the hell out of me and has gotten some peeps the “unfollow.” I once saw an update from the middle of someone’s run – who are you running for…. ughhh!

  • Megan Hill

    This makes me smile :)

  • starr

    most of my facebook statuses are song lyrics. the others are descriptions of dinners i made. and mostly that’s all i do on facebook. i don’t go on there much.

  • Michelle

    Yes. Yes to all of this. Just last night I was looking at the status update of a woman who shared her entire (and utterly mundane) shopping list, coupons, and the grand total. Do I care that you spent $27 on cheetos and lucky charms? No. And neither does anyone else.

    Awesome article, Candice! In the spirit of good table manners, I’m posting this on FB right now.

  • Lauren Quinn

    Great title, killer article. One thing that really annoys me: the term “social media ninja.” WTF? Do I get a tweet in little black footsie costume? No? Then what’s the point?

    I’ll have you know, Candice, that you’re the only girl I follow that has a bathing suit picture. Any other girl in a bikini is for sure trying to sell me something. ;)

  • Lola

    Loved this Candice! Great job. You totally verbalized what I was secretly thinking ;)

  • neha

    I absolutely loved this Candice, but that poop link made sure my dinner came right out. I was so sure it wouldn’t be that, I went ahead and opened it. Hang on, I should be putting this up on FB and twitter. Brb.

  • Christine Garvin

    Hmm, not sure why this isn’t replying underneath Brian’s comment, but just wanted to agree with you wholeheartedly, Brian. There are some people who ONLY update with scripture, and they do it on a daily or every other day basis. I’m down with every once in a while, but when you must quote the Bible to talk about how you mopped the floors, we’re crossing the line here.

    I keep them as friends only because I’m sure I annoy some other people with my updates and they haven’t dropped me. Karma :)

  • Candice

    Thanks folks! Glad I’m not alone in this annoyance. Lauren, you know I TOTALLY overlooked the fact my Twitter pic is me in a bikini, usually I’d unfriend someone like that too. Must reconsider this fact.

  • Mike Perron

    Guilty of drunk lyrics! Shame.

    • Candice Walsh

      Me too, so emo.

  • Gray

    Awesome, Candice. I love the fact that you have the guts to write an article with “douchebag” in the title. :-)

    ICAM on the “over sharers”.

    Other social media douchebags:
    The people who just want to sell you something.
    The people who say inflammatory things just to whip everyone into a tizzy.
    People who drop F bombs constantly.
    The people who type in ALL CAPS.
    The people who copy and paste someone else’s tweet and try to pass it off as their own (why, people? Why?).
    The people who take a private fight into a public forum.

    I could do this all night.

  • linlah

    Internet Famous, love that.

  • Chris – The Aussie Nomad

    Right so what your telling me is I’m not really famous and that the tweet I sent you about nachos is a no no. Thanks Candice I get the hint :)

    I’m not a big fan of all the travel quotes or the people who only seem to RT everything. For sure RT the links but its nice to know your actually human and do tweet other normal things. Keeping the human personal side is the key for me to follow you.

  • Eric

    Love it! I am a twitter newbie but in my short time I have already seen all of these people. Good stuff.

  • Candice Walsh

    Hate the people who try to sell stuff! Especially realtors. WTF? If I’m going to buy a house, I don’t think I’ll do it via Twitter.

    And Chris, totally agree with the Twitter feeds lacking any sort of human personality. Arg.

  • Julio E. Peironcely

    I am getting really sick of those social media douchebags.
    I wrote a little piece on this using real quotes from social media douchebags, you might want to have a peek.

  • Graeme Kilshaw

    Points Taken.

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