EXPAT WIVES. Trailing spouse. Accompanying spouse. Accompanying partner, STARS (Spouses Trailing and Relocating Successfully). I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to these labels we place on women (or men) who courageously decide to put their jobs or lives on hold to support their spouse’s work assignment in a different city and I’ve gotta be honest, I think they all suck. I can say that because I am one.
The lameness of all of these labels doesn’t do any bit of justice for the actuality of what WE spouses do.
Many times we relocate to a place with strange faces and foreign languages. Many times we are packing lives and children into a handful of bags and trying to unpack a home from those suitcases. Many times we are the cushion — NO — the boxing bag that absorbs the blow for everyone else. We navigate, we explore, we dive into discomfort because the other option is to sink and while we come out stronger for it, labeling us as people who follow or tag along diminishes what we are. Why, you ask? Good question…