Travel Writing Tips: Transforming Your Narrator Into a "Camera"

When we remove the narrator from the shot so it’s just a description of the terrain, the visuals tend to come out more direct and vivid:

The sun was setting over the vast playa.

As writers, we “get in the way” simply because we’re unconsciously stating what we saw, for example:

I saw taxis speeding down Avenida de Mayo.

But by not being super-conscious of exactly how each word affects the reader’s experience of the story, we may inadvertently “clog” the composition. Note how the unclogged version reads more crisply:

The taxis sped down Avenida de Mayo.

Sometimes this extra layer of inserting yourself as narrator into the action (ex: “I saw”) is important however, especially if it allows you to reveal something about changing emotions or moments of new awareness. But again, this should be a conscious decision on how you’re trying to shape the narrative.

It’s also important to note that this sense of being a “camera” isn’t limited only to what the narrator “sees” but how he or she interacts in the story overall:

I climbed stairs zig-zagging upwards past dimly lit bars until I came to the top level of Sky Garden. I leaned against the bar and watched sun-bleached Australians dance with drinks in their hands to LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem.

Notice that if we remove the self-referential parts it allows the reader to “inhabit” the narrative in a much more direct way:

The stairs zig-zagged upwards past dimly lit bars until the top level of Sky Garden, where sun-bleached Australians danced to LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem.

How do you achieve a balance of “acting” vs. “narrating” in your storytelling?

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